So what does recovery really look like?

[hugomax]

I had major depression in 2006. Thought I had it beat, but my memory and cognitive function have never returned to anything like they were before.

The doctor has said I need to go on a higher dose for an extended period of time. Which I have just started. He has assured me it will make a longer lasting change that will bring back my brains functionality.

I function today although I am less confident in my own actions which is impacting my life. But I am planning for a new future which is quite exciting.

My expectation is that after 6-9 months of enduring these drugs and the side effects I will stop taking them and my brain will return to a state somewhat close to where I was before my depression. I expect not to have to take them again unless I feel myself slipping back into depression.

Am I being a little naive? What should I be expecting after this period? Should I expect to be on these drugs for longer than 9 months? I consider myself mild to moderate depressed.

Also during this time I intend to go back to college to study. It does worry me as I am unsure if my brain will be able to cope. Will these drugs stabilize me making study better or will I find it harder to concentrate and retain information.

Thanks for the insight.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Hugomax

First, I'm no specialist here and I write based on experiences with my child's depression (and my Tourrette's).

If you expecting the medication to fix your ailments,  and when you finish the course your ailments will be gone, I'm afraid you might be setting yourself up with an unrealistic expectation.

If, on the other hand,  you're use the medication to control your symptoms,  whilst you re-educate and retrain your brain to operate efficiently without medicine;  and you slowly ween your dependency off the drugs, then I think you will have a much happier outcome.

[hugomax]

This response worries me and starts to make me think if this is going to be worth it. I am already experience some unpleasant side effects from the drugs. Diarrhea, nausea, gas and I am irritable. If my doctor and pharmacist say that after 6-9 mths you will get full benefit from the drugs I would love to hear from someone who can tell me what the difference will be from how I am today.

From what I am hearing it sounds like I am signing up to a life time of these drugs to live a 'stable' life. I tend to think my life is somewhat stable now, apart from more memory, intellect and cognitive functions. I realise I need to aim for a less stressful lifestyle and I am working towards it. 

Can anyone give me some tangible examples of what 6-9mths on these drugs will do to someone with mild/moderate depression.  

Does anyone know of a place I could test myself? If would be interesting to have a before and after picture from this period of medication. 

Thanks

[MuchAdoAboutNothing]

Hi 🙂

I was in a similar boat about 18 months ago - I also expected similar things!

Here are my thoughts.

I have only recently come off the medication I began around the end of 2012. Over that time I have been able to manage my depression and anxiety a lot better, but I still have good and bad days/weeks etc. It's a little hard for me to monitor, still, but I'm in a much better place to where I was when I began on medications. Having recently dropped off the meds, I am feeling mostly better - to be honest, I don't remember what 'feeling normal' was like beforehand, so I'm not sure if I can give you much info about that! I'm happier, though, and mostly more capable of life, study, work and social events (that last thing I'm still working on because of anxiety in crowds etc).

But no, you are not signing up to a lifetime of drugs, even if you feel like you might be dependent. All of the side effects I experienced when starting the meds/changing dosage all disappeared within a week or 2, and from that point I just generally felt better and less 'blue' (pardon the site-related pun).

I guess I'm writing to encourage you because I would have liked to have read something like this before meds - I was quite scared about what they would mean, but everything has been turning out well thus far.

Look after yourself 🙂

J

[AGrace]

Hi hugo,

I've been on meds for nearly 10 months. Not the same ones the whole time, but for the same purpose. My Psychiatrist and I are just about to start a plan to ween me off.

I guess the biggest difference between how I felt prior to treatment and how I feel now is I'm now better equipped. Ive spent a good part of a year learning skills and strategies to manage my symptoms, and more importantly I've had lots of practice implementing them. I also have more good days and very few days where I feel I can't cope.

I've come to a point where I don't know if I'm better or if the meds are just masking the symptoms and making life look all rosey again. So the only way I can tell is to try coming off them.

So medication doesnt have to be forever, but it also shouldn't be the only form of treatment you use. Also allow yourself enough time to slowly come off your medication, to reduce the effects of withdrawing.

I hope your present side effects settle, if not I suggest you ask for a different type. As I said I went through a few before I found the right mix, and this is fairly common. 

AGrace

[geoff]

dear Hugomax, I thought that I had replied to you, maybe on another post, anyway with regards to the medication let me explain to you a before and after from what happened with myself, although it maybe different as I was diagnosed with clinical depression, which is different from mild/moderate depression.

So before I was at the lowest point and in the darkest black hole and attempted to end my life, so I was put on several different AD's until the one I am now taking finally worked.

Now the question is for myself only, is that did this AD help me overcome my depression or was it because I started to feel much better and then this AD kicked in and help me stabilise to my mood.

I know that it was the latter and the psych's would also say the it's both.

Now the difference to after actually means that if your life style is going along as you want with little stress and no anxiety or situations which you can solve without any drama, then you will be fine.

In the meantime what they do is to settle your mood down so that you can cope with all situations, however you can't take these AD's on a continual on and off basis, the doctor or psych has to make this decision. Geoff.

[Snoman]

Hugomax,

I started taking AD's in December last year. They seemed to help quite quickly, but like you, I also had mild diarrhoea, gas and bloating. As the GP increased the dose, the side effects were worse. Eventually I felt I needed a still higher dose, but I wasn't willing to have those side effects get even worse, so I tapered off the first and then started a new AD. I still have similar side effects, but quite mild and tolerable, and the new AD seems to be working as desired.

Before the change in AD's, I started with a psychologist who is an ACT practitioner. The tapering off and starting the new AD's took a few bumpy weeks, which required me to work quite hard with techniques I had learned from my psychologist.

One of the first things I asked my psychologist was his best guess on "how long until I get my brain back". I struggled to concentrate and my short term memory was like that of a gold fish. Of course he couldn't answer given he just met me.

As a techno-nerdy type, this really smashed my ability to work in my normal profession. I was (and still am) unemployed. I wasn't able to concentrate long enough to draft a cover letter for a job application. I decided to try mental exercises to try to get my brain functioning as before. I found sudoku to be a good one (never did it before).

I wasn't sure if the meds were making me 'foggy headed' or if it is the effect of depression. However, I have seen that the grey matter in the amygdala can shrink by 25% in people with depression for > 5 months. The function of the amygdala is connected to memory and emotions (surprise!). Post depression, this does grow back.

I am now seeing that my memory is improving, and so is my ability to concentrate. I believe I will 'get my brain back' even while on AD's, and that I will be able to stop taking them. I don't want to stop too soon as I want my brain to get used to being good again before I take away the medicinal support.

Sno

[sadgirlhappy]

Hey all,

So many of us in this forum are taking AD's and it saddens me a little. Not to sound daft, as I know it's for "treatment" of anxiety and depression, and Geoff makes a good point about how doctors will say it was both your personal work and the drugs that worked together. But personally, I chose to ditch the entire pharmaceutical industry following 3 months on medication last year which I found absolutely intolerable. I couldn't function. After sharing all my bad side effects with the pyschologist and GP, I was given a script for a different medication I went home and chucked it in the bin. I have a dear friend who is Sri Lankan and born and raised Buddhist. She is Australian but has shown me the world of Buddhist Meditation and encouraged me to be mindful and explore other eastern medicines as well. She once said "when it comes to mental health western medicine is so far behind eastern it's not funny.' I started acupuncture and it literally changed my life. Slowly.... it's not a quick fix. Very slow but you do see results every week (I had weekly acupuncture for 6 months which is considered to be 2 cycles, most people only need 1 cycle). I sometimes tag along to her temple. I'm not religious btw, but this is a really easy to adopt, transferrable modern template for living mindfully and allowing your self-loathing, sadness to just rise up and release a little. Did you know that's freaking normal!? I guess I didn't have this skill before, nor did any part of my western privileged life ever teach me this skill. I think our society is not really geared up properly and that's why anxiety in particular but also severe, clinical depression is becoming so common. Some have serious illness which may be hereditary, others are badly impacted by dysfunctional environments and personal behaviours. From my growing yet still limited understanding of depression, I feel I'm the latter group. I don't have bipolar for instance. But I'm someone who has had a lifelong tendency toward melancholy, emotional sensitivity, shyness and anxiety - despite all my best efforts to try and change who I am, I can't. But I can say no to pharma. You know - they're just in it for the dough. Don't ever forget that. They are selling drugs. Acupuncture has been around for 4000 years. How long have antidepressants been around for and who made it and why? You've gotta ask and consider what's right for you.

S x