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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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CAG The first step ... always the hardest. A different approach
  • replies: 1

I have been battling severe depression for over a year now. I know that the most important part of recovery is to want to change, embrace the change but most importantly to initiate the change. Nobody can do this for you.I have tried lots of differen... View more

I have been battling severe depression for over a year now. I know that the most important part of recovery is to want to change, embrace the change but most importantly to initiate the change. Nobody can do this for you.I have tried lots of different things but with all the things that go with this condition (lack of sleep, anxiety, etc) it seems the harder I try the more I retreat. I feel guilty if I stay in bed and force myself to get up and do something... a lot of times I don't succeed. I feel good when I achieve things. Failure does not exist in my head and I look at it as say 80% successful.I live alone in Brisbane and many "friends" have abandoned me, except 2 that stick like glue and check on me daily. I am in no way concerned about those others and I've jettisoned them as excess baggage I don't need.. it is much easier to fly that way. As they say true friends are the ones right there doing it rather than those asking what can I do. My focus is solely on the critical path of recovery. I research extensively and challenge things when I need to. I recall after my first session with a psychologist who said go on an SNRI AD. I asked how he worked that out in 45 minutes as I do not believe shoving a pill in my mouth is the first option... and from experience it has led to a whole bunch of other medical issues to battle as well.CBT is a common tool for treatment. You generally have some idea about you and what the problems are. I am not critical of it but I do not feel like psychology 101 textbook pathways help. Everyone is different and when empathy is shown it builds trust. Advice is what we humans seek when we probably know the answer but don't want to confront it.This is not a negative post, it is my experience. What I think will help me the most is to find a friend in the same boat so that we can row it forward faster together encouraging and supporting each other. If you don't try you will not succeed and also if you don't ask the question an answer will never arrive. I am incredibly determined. This will not beat me and I wont quit. If this concept works for you please get in touch.I am single, 48, gay (irrelevant), intelligent,logical and loads of common sense.If this post creates some inspiration for you that makes me really happy. Altruism is a gift but I have learnt now to focus it on myself first, not last.Smile... despite what you think sometimes.. you do not own all of the problems in the world

Stephy Experiences of seeking help
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, I am new to the discussion board and just wanted to know what your experiences are of seeking help (ie.good/bad) and what you have done to recover from depression/anxiety/bipolar/mental illness? What kind of therapy and strategies do you us... View more

Hey guys, I am new to the discussion board and just wanted to know what your experiences are of seeking help (ie.good/bad) and what you have done to recover from depression/anxiety/bipolar/mental illness? What kind of therapy and strategies do you use in times of stress? I'm starting to see a psychologist and want to know other people's experiences on this forum and what has/hasn't worked. Thanks! Hope to hear a response

les writing helps
  • replies: 4

i have had depression for a long time but after a marriage break up 20 years ago the depression really peaked. i was eventually hospitlised. it was then one sunny morning while leaning against a colum in the hospital , thinking i have only got 20 cen... View more

i have had depression for a long time but after a marriage break up 20 years ago the depression really peaked. i was eventually hospitlised. it was then one sunny morning while leaning against a colum in the hospital , thinking i have only got 20 cents in my pocket and yet previous i ran a business and turned over a quarter of a million dollars per year. strange but i started to laugh and thought i have to write about this. so off i go i asked the nurse for an A4 sheet and a pencil. that was the start of my writing and boy did i give the pencil some work.. this would lead to me publishing a book in 2008 and having my photo in the paper in the north and south of western australia. even if you start writing about your life and dont want to publish give it to your grand kids or someone close so they would know your feelings and what you got up to in your life .? a lot of comedians and famous singers have suffered depression. cheers . les

sophy how can you tell if you're relapsing?
  • replies: 10

Hi, I'm new to this forum (or any online forum for that matter) but would really love to connect with other people who have gone through similar things. I'm in recovery from depression/anxiety and most of the time feel like I'm doing ok. But sometime... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum (or any online forum for that matter) but would really love to connect with other people who have gone through similar things. I'm in recovery from depression/anxiety and most of the time feel like I'm doing ok. But sometimes, like today, it feels as if the world is crashing in again and that I just can't cope. I get really worried that this means I'm relapsing and will end up in an institution again. Is this common? And how can you tell the difference between a relapse and just a shitty day? Would love to hear from anyone even if you haven't been able to answer this question yourself. x sophy

ReneeJ What next? (new to online forums)
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone. I have depression and anxiety and have been taking medication for a little over a month. I feel like my anxiety has really started to settle, but my depression not so much. I am fighting with my boyfriend all the time and am finding it d... View more

Hi everyone. I have depression and anxiety and have been taking medication for a little over a month. I feel like my anxiety has really started to settle, but my depression not so much. I am fighting with my boyfriend all the time and am finding it difficult to feel happy. It almost feels like I have lost the ability. Along with medication I have changed my diet to a much healthier one, I also take short walks to relieve tension and stress. Could anyone else suggest other things I could do? I am taking my negative feelings out (unintentionally) on my boyfriend and it's putting a huge strain on our relationship. I really want to feel happy and a little more carefree again. Please help.

white knight Are there two sides to everyone?
  • replies: 0

I've met a lot of people in my 58 years. Lived with many men in the military, worked countless hours in security with others. Some seemed to be happy- all the time. Every time you meet them you are greeted with the same smile and aura as the previous... View more

I've met a lot of people in my 58 years. Lived with many men in the military, worked countless hours in security with others. Some seemed to be happy- all the time. Every time you meet them you are greeted with the same smile and aura as the previous day...never any change. In fact I would be surprised if they have sad periods at all. We can all put up the mask, often stories from our posters mention how other people like workmates etc have no idea of their inner demons. How often have you had a friend that you connect with so well only to have a fallout, one disagreement and whammo- you find out they are unforgiving? or worse -revengeful? This thread however isnt about that. It's to pose the question- If sufferers of any mental illness has another side to their personality can it be explored and tapped into in order to assist them in their recovery? An example: A sufferer of depression for 2 years has written in. Let's say his symptoms are common for this example, cant get out of bed, trying different medications, prefers no human contact, everything in life is negative and no future is clear. What the poster may not mention unless prompted, is that, many years earlier he had an adventuristic lifestyle, went mountain climbing, cycling, parachuting and other active sports and interests. These interests are so far back and not relevant to them that they dont mention it. Yet, it could I suggest, be a spark that could light up their lives again as an aid to their recovery. What do you think? Are we often only seeing one side of their character? And if so is the other side a lifeline to their future? MY OWN CLOWN I have a mentor A clown I hold in my hand when I express my joy he's a colourful one man band and when he's sad I see him through a blur sitting sadly a mope of course we both were One day, one to forget I watched his arms begging in circles begging and emotionally level pegging I said to him "Why do you copy me clown" as he sat and looked he replied "I copy you when you are up and I copy you when you are down" I stared closer at his face and got a shock to see his face was so familiar -it was a mirror image of me..... WK

Kokentoe Adrenaline - my form of escape
  • replies: 0

First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that I can’t drive until I sort out ... View more

First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that I can’t drive until I sort out my registration, I have no freedom and am no longer able to undertake the one thing that seems to have been keeping me sane throughout this whole time. Now I understand this might not be the most relatable topic for most people, so unless you’re bored with nothing better to do like myself, you probably won’t be interested, but regardless I'd like to share what has helped me get through some difficult times. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the better part of my life, finding no closure despite all my efforts. I was put on antidepressants but found that they weren’t helping but rather making me feel worse, so foolishly I decided to dabble in some illicit substances which was a mistake that put me in a mental watch unit and seeing both a psychologist and psychiatrist. Fortunately I pulled through it and learnt my lesson, vowing never to do that again. So drugs definitely weren’t the answer for me. At a certain point in my life I discovered an extreme sport called downhill mountain biking. There are plenty of videos on the internet if you want a better idea of what it’s all about. It took me a while but I overcame my initial fears and started seeing some real progress. I was attempting things that I never would have thought possible when I first started. I guess it’s the same with most things in life, that is you don’t know what you can do until you give it a try and even though you might not succeed at first, if you persevere you should get there eventually. It’s about realising your potential, facing your fears and not giving up. I have never applied this to anything other than my sport, which seems like the only thing I have ever put any real effort into. I didn’t care about doing well at school and the same goes for work. I only saw that as a means of survival, it's not something I would willingly do unless it was something I enjoyed, but from a realistic viewpoint I don’t ever see that happening for me. Now given the nature of my sport, there are many dangers that come along with it. It is inevitable not to crash at some point and I have endured many in my time, resulting in hospital visits in some instances. During those moments, such intense pain is a sensation seldom experienced, it actually made me feel more alive and reminded me that I was still human and that our bones can be broken and our flesh can bleed. Most normal people steer clear from any danger, which makes sense as this is a natural response to preserve one’s own life, but are they truly living? The fight or flight response is a remarkable thing. It's said that “the brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all” and I stand by that saying. Downhill mountain biking is the one and only thing I can somewhat be proud of and rely on to lift me up, even though I am nowhere near the level I want to be, I know how demanding it is and how much courage and determination is required to succeed. So I now had a natural high. The adrenaline rush I get from riding is far better than any drug out there and the best part is that there are no side effects. I can't really describe the euphoria I get from it as it's something only those who have experienced it will understand and I’m quite fortunate to have discovered a passion for a sport that does that. When I'm on my bike nothing else matters except staying on those two wheels and making it to the bottom. I do feel sorry for those who don’t have a creative outlet to deal with their problems as I was once one of them, and in these past 3 weeks I have noticed my symptoms slowly coming back due to a withdrawal from not riding and being stuck at home. I'm not entirely sure how much longer I can last as I no longer have any way to release the tension, boredom and anxiety building up within me and regular exercise does nothing for me. Being in a depressed mental state you’re probably telling yourself there's absolutely nothing out there that you might like or want to try. Of course it doesn’t have to be something extreme like downhill mountain biking, but perhaps you may dare to try something new and enjoy it, if you can force yourself to give it a go. It’s important that you don’t let anyone discourage you and doubt yourself. I've been dissuaded by people for doing what I do because they consider it to be too risky and dangerous. They would try hold you back from chasing your goals, because they were too afraid to chase their own. I’m desperate to get out of my current predicament and get my life back on track and I've already set myself more goals as I want to start doing motorsport racing next. I look forward to embracing the challenges that lie ahead and hope that you are also able to find something you are passionate about in this life.

scorch Need to be kept accountable to help meet goals
  • replies: 69

Hi everyone. So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing, ... View more

Hi everyone. So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing, I am often overcome by feelings of worthlessness and that I am a failure. I know that these feelings are lying to me, I AM precious and beautiful and worth so much! I HAVE accomplished many things and will continue to do... but you know, the feelings can still drag you down sometimes. Anywho... I've been talking to my husband (who is remarkably understanding and patient with my erratic behavior/mood swings) and we've decided to set some goals for us to aim for, so that we can reach our MEGA GOAL which is to undergo IVF treatment and hopefully start a family. I have PCOS which is a genetic disorder that means it is incredibly difficult to have children. It also has about a zillion other side effects including high risk of depression, higher risk of diabetes plus plenty of physical effects all which make me feel like a hideous freak who is hardly a woman at all. We've been trying to have kids for 5 years now, but all treatments have come to naught. We will have to undergo IVF, but it is a long process that costs heaps of money... and we just don't have the funds. This kind of set us both back and over the last year or so we've been sitting stagnant on the kid's issue and it's been negatively affecting our marriage. So the other night we decided enough was enough. We have to get serious about having kids, which means working towards our MEGA GOAL. We're going to attack this on two fronts. First, my husband is trying to pick up some extra work as a security guard as well as his normal day job. Any money he makes from that is going straight into a special 'baby making' bank account. He's also been putting aside a little each week for the last couple of years, but now we're hoping to boost that. I am also putting a little from my wage into the account too. It's already a struggle for us financially, but we'll make it work because this is something we really want. The second part of our goal is for me to lose a whole lot of weight so that I'll be in prime fitness when we can finally undergo treatment. I have to lose about 40kg. I know that sounds like a lot, but I'm really heavy even though I look like I weigh a lot less (thank goodness!) This is where you guys come in. Because of my depression, I struggle to start things. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning, so it's really hard to summon the energy to hop on the treadmill and do a workout. I've got a home setup of a cheapo treadmill and a rowing/cycling machine, so I've got easy access to equipment and no excuses. So it it's not too much trouble, will someone touch base with me once or twice a week to keep me accountable and make sure I'm actually exercising and eating healthily? Does anyone else need to lose weight and want me to help keep you accountable and on track? Is there a whole bunch of us that want to get healthier and we could all keep each other accountable? I hope that some people will think this is a good idea. When we share the load we can go further than we ever could on our own.

white knight Anti social and trouble maker me
  • replies: 2

I'm 58 and a male. Recently retired on a pension with my wife, my carer. Diagnosed with Bipolar 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression. Likely had ADHD when young. I started seeing a psychiatrist in 2003, well after my roller coaster life had begun at 1... View more

I'm 58 and a male. Recently retired on a pension with my wife, my carer. Diagnosed with Bipolar 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression. Likely had ADHD when young. I started seeing a psychiatrist in 2003, well after my roller coaster life had begun at 18. At 17 I joined the military then alcohol was my demon, not that I liked it but it turned me into the village clown. By 20 I was discharged and by 25yo I'd owned 50 cars and worked at 30 jobs. I was and still am super sensitive and I tend to ruin relationships mainly in clubs and large organisations.To better understand my background my father died around 1992 and my mother has, I beleive, to be Borderline Personality Disorder. As we know if someone has big issues and lives in denial then you have little choice but to leave them and that is what my sister and I have done. Harsh? Well no, when it comes to survival and thats how serious it had become up until 2009 when I made that decision. I've read up a lot on how children are effected by a parent with BPD. It can be complex but I know my problems are far worse than had I not had a BPD mother. I got the most out of an online article by Lawson it covers the 4 personalities I had to deal with, the witch, the queen, the hermit and the waif. My mother has all 4.. Of course I couldnt deal with them.Now I am left with the effects. I know I am on the correct medication for all ills and am settled with my kind wife. But where it comes to interpersonal relations I'm a disaster. In one club I had a disagreement and what followed was an abusive private message eg "take more medication" etc I'm free about my illnesses and it has worked against me. What follows is my expectation that all clubs should take up the issues of abuse and "fix it". But they usually dont. And in my case they didnt. Which left me angry and what followed was confrontation with an explosion of anger. A few members supported me and helped, most didnt. Then you get the mob mentality, the talk behind your back and the ostrisizing which is another form of bullying. Eventually you know the only way forward is to leave. Let the able minded be without the burden of us that have caused their own inherited problems?. I've apologised to several and no acceptance was forthcoming making me feel worse.This has all resulted in me withdrawing slowly from society, scared to befriend anyone in case they turn out to be a bully. Social media hasnt helped overall. Even then you'll get an odd post with a double meaning that could be directed at me. So I reduced my friends list from 170 to 40. Its better now but it doesnt answer the whole problem picture.There is another side to me. My user name 'white knight' is a hint. I'm not really a white knight. The white knight syndrome is a person that helps others but eventually wants a reward for what they have done. I help others without wanting reward. Parents that have lost their children is one aspect. To be supportive and kind, an ear, is what I like to do. Sometimes it doesnt work out, other times I have ended up with incredible friends. So I'm a grey knight lol.I'm concerned as I've been ostricized by two clubs now. It cant be that both clubs are evil. It has to do with my over reactions and confrontations and not fitting in. Cognitve deficiency is what I call it. Somehwer ein my childhood I didnt learn street wisdom, the right time to say certain things and the wrong time to say certain things. . For some reason I want to be popular, needed and loved. But the love one gets from club members ends up pretty shallow. Then I think I'm better off in my shed buried in my hobbies and try to stop thinking about all this stuff. Easier said than done. I came up with a plan once. To act mute. To signal to people that I am mute. Then I'd never get into trouble. Of course that was silly. I seem quite strong but my hold on life is paper thin. Wonder if other feel this way and what do you do to enhance your social acceptance.

Sambo How to recover after a suicide attempt?
  • replies: 1

Hi. A few weeks ago i tried to commit suicide. I ended up in hospital for 2 days. This was in Australia and i am now back in England where i am living temporarily at the moment. I have been to 2 CBT sessions since being back and havent really found i... View more

Hi. A few weeks ago i tried to commit suicide. I ended up in hospital for 2 days. This was in Australia and i am now back in England where i am living temporarily at the moment. I have been to 2 CBT sessions since being back and havent really found it that helpful. I am not much of a talker anyway so it is hard for me to get anything across to anyone. I really just want to know if anybody else has ever felt the same after attempting anything. I know i definately havent as i constantly keep thinking about harming myself or different outcomes that could have come of my attempt. Anything would be helpful. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.