Singles Support on BB

[smallwolf]

Hi,

This might seem like a odd thread for me to create but... In my time here at beyond blue, I have come upon a number of users who have reported about the loneliness of being single, never having a girl friend, never will find a partner, not being in a relationship etc. Many users put there stories in new threads each day, so existing users might not be able to find these other users and therefore might not be able to lend a hand of support. Some users might feel they are the only ones to experience this problem. So to help (?) users with similar problems I thought a thread where users, male or female, might eb able to support each other, and create connections even if in a virtual space. I hope you will find this space helpful...

Tim

[Azzdog]

Hey Tim,

This is a really cool idea. Why didn’t I think of it? Haha I hope this can become a place where likeminded people can share their difficulties and we can all support one another to find greater meaning in our lives.

I know I feel alone on this issue in my own life and I only really know HamSolo on this forum. So I hope his encourages more to speak out and feel less alone on this issue.

[smallwolf]

Hi Aaron,

Welcome. I posted on a couple of other users threads, including Mitch's. I also sent you a link to another user in a similar position to you. It might take a little while for this thread to take off. We will see what happens...

[Azzdog]

Hey Tim,

I hope this does take off eventually. It will be really beneficial to a lot of people I think.

[Beth_co]

Hi Smallwolf and everyone. Being on my own can be conflicting. Comforting hugs would be nice when life hurts, another opinion when making difficult decisions and help around the yard would be great. But I don't miss arguments, having to explain my depressive moods or disinterest in venturing out socially.

Having been in several abusive situations, I'd rather be alone than deal with confrontations or torment. I know there's good people out there, but it's me I don't trust. Habitual responses and beliefs I've created because of these relationships make me a bad risk. (I carry a lot of hurt)

Yes, I've changed a lot over the years through recovery, but stepping out of my comfort zone has too much fear associated with it. So, I stay single.

I don't have an aversion to opposite sex friendships mind you, but that's about it.

I think this is a great idea Tim. 🤜🤛

[Azzdog]

Hey Beth,

Thanks for contributing here and I am sorry to hear about what you have experienced. I do think it is important for people like myself to understand the difficulty that being in a relationship can bring. A lot of them can be very toxic but it is not something you read or hear about that much, particularly on social media.

[smallwolf]

Aaron,

When it comes to relationships at whatever level people are conscious of how they project themselves. Part of this might be due to them not knowing how you might react or do with information that is personal or confidential. Trust needs to exist before someone might feel comfortable in saying something to you.

You might be the most trustworthy person in a group. When someone new comes along, they won't know you. In fact their interpretation of you would likely be based on their previous experiences. If someone has continually had their trust betrayed, they might think that about you.

Of course some environments lend themselves to authenticate conversations, and others don't.

[Azzdog]

Hey Tim,

That does make sense, I actually have the same problem with others. I don't tend to trust others because I have had my trust betrayed a lot in the past. So I tend not to open up that much because I have dealt with toxic people who care only for themselves.

Which is why I think mental health groups, particularly peer related ones, as so amazing in that you could have had all these experiences and yet you wont have any judgement when you enter those kinds of spaces. It really is quite amazing actually.

[Billyc]

Just so I’m clear, this is not a dating site?

Joking... great idea, I’ve read a lot of lonely singles and it’s a safe place to “mingle”..,

[Jojo100]

Hi everyone

Tim I think this thread is a really good idea as it can be quite lonely without a partner. I have a few close friends for which I am extremely grateful, but without them I would be totally lost. However some people are isolated without anyone close to them. I think this thread could become a very relevant place to share and support each other.

Jojo