Imagine we are walking along a swing bridge. Every time there is a
permanent problem the swing bridge gets narrower. Financial stress,
people passing away, accidents, job loss and so on. You hold on until
the swing bridge goes wider again, that probl...
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Imagine we are walking along a swing bridge. Every time there is a
permanent problem the swing bridge gets narrower. Financial stress,
people passing away, accidents, job loss and so on. You hold on until
the swing bridge goes wider again, that problem goes away. Now you
approach a mental illness crisis. That swing bridge is still there but
without its hand rail. You are balancing and everytime there is an
issue, seemingly daily, you lose balance and nearly fall. Is that how
you feel? It's terrible. You reach to your partner or a friend and they
seem to not notice your plight. In these situations we need to go one
way and one way only- upwards. We need to repair that handrail by
various means. We cannot survive just “hoping for the best” or expecting
more than what others can give. In fact we cant rely on anyone but
professional help. Consulting a counsellor is a good start because they
often see clearer than us what is happening. Mental illness is an
oddball because we think we are more capable than what we are, more
aware of the issues and feel like we can sort it all out. But like a
couple that are pregnant, parenthood doesn’t all come naturally, we have
to read books, listen to others to learn how best treat our new baby.
Same as learning to drive. Some methods we can introduce to build that
handrail is- Work with your partner as a team to introduce rules and
boundaries Counselling be it family or personal Consider two part time
jobs rather than one full time. There are several benefits. Not relying
on one income gives more income security, Shorter hours in one
workplace, a long break between jobs. Try to eliminate shift work. Sleep
is crucial to our well being Place boundaries on relatives and friends.
You don’t need people crossing lines to control you. Mental illness is
not a case of our inability but more so our restriction of mental
capacity…there is a difference. Life changes. Consider every
possibility. Change in environment. Changes to reduce debt. If needed,
changes to your relationship. The basics of our lives must have a
foundation of security. That swing bridge must be wide enough to make us
feel ok, that we are surviving and not losing balance. Then every aspect
of our lives improve. We can even lift others up that are just hanging
on. But we need to plan changes and introduce boundaries. For others,
they are either with us or not. For those that are not, just put them at
arms length as many will never understand. Tony WK
A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
