Staying well

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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Wizard1 Mental Illness and non-believers. How to deal?
  • replies: 5

I mostly write this for the benefit of other as well as myself. My sister committed suicide nearly three years ago. I was once taking to a work colleague (who knew about my sister's suicide) about the topic of mental illness. Her response to me was "... View more

I mostly write this for the benefit of other as well as myself. My sister committed suicide nearly three years ago. I was once taking to a work colleague (who knew about my sister's suicide) about the topic of mental illness. Her response to me was "this is such a first world problem" meaning only people in the first world would have the time and luxury to develop such problems in theirs head. My response was, "no it is not, you hear about it in the first world because we have resources to deal with it. These problems exist everywhere and most probably exists more so the third world". Although my response was measured and controlled, internally I was fuming and felt terribly insulted by this. So how would you response to non-believers, the ones who think we should "just get over it"? In other words, how do we educate those who are naive?

Notanurse What friends?
  • replies: 1

I really have the question: "do you have any support around you? Family? Friends?" Because my answers always "What family? What friends?" I grew up knowing my mother, my half sister, my brother, my nana, my Nan and my pop. All on my mum's side. I bar... View more

I really have the question: "do you have any support around you? Family? Friends?" Because my answers always "What family? What friends?" I grew up knowing my mother, my half sister, my brother, my nana, my Nan and my pop. All on my mum's side. I barely know my father, I only remember seeing him maybe a handful of times. And my father's parents are just names. It's sad because for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a huge family. Uncle's, aunts, cousins, grandparents, extended family. I wanted to have 4 kids so one day I'll be this little old lady surrounded by a large family of my own making(I can dream!). There's nothing I can do to change my family though. Except for the part where I have 4 kids and hopefully be that happily little old lady surrounded by her huge family. As for friends though.. I had many friends in primary school, I counted everyone as a friends, I got along with pretty much everyone. High school came around and my close circle from primary school started breaking up, going their own way. But I was sitting there wanting it to be us still because they were my everything. Rumours started that one hated the other but they were friends on the outside. I ended up having enough of the lies and games so I was the one to befriend them. Gotta love teenage drama. Ever since then though I've found it very difficult to form lasting friendships. That's when I went to uni and met my former best friend. We got along really well, called each other soul sisters, we had the best times together. That was until she couldn't put up with my severe lows. The most recent being about 3 weeks ago, which is now why she's the former best friend. Apart from that, I have one person I talk to regularly at the moment. That person being someone who thinks were going to be in a relationships(I very much do not want a relationship). Other than that I have 3 people who check in from time to time. It's lonely, it's draining, I hate it. I'm human, I need to be social. I really wish there was a tinder for friendships. Put in your interests and find people with the same interests. Would be amazing. So how do you deal with the loneliness? How do you make friends? All I can think is that it MUST get better once I'm employed and working regularly right?

LostCyclist Loosing the ability to live the life I want - Staying positive vs Adjusting expectations
  • replies: 8

10 months ago I cycled into a car at 53km/h. By all intent and purpose the ambo's said I am lucky to be alive. I understand I am a survivor...much like many here, we all are after some point in life. I don't want to just survive though. I was cycling... View more

10 months ago I cycled into a car at 53km/h. By all intent and purpose the ambo's said I am lucky to be alive. I understand I am a survivor...much like many here, we all are after some point in life. I don't want to just survive though. I was cycling upwards of 1000km a week. I love cycling. It is my passion and my escape and everything that keeps the rest of this ordinary world in check. It was my way of socialising, it defined me as a person, and everything else in life was geared toward being able to be on the bike. I have, over the time since the accident slowly degraded to sitting here now not riding at all. I have chronic whiplash. Some days are better than others but even the good days I find myself standing beside my bike looking outside and, whilst feeling nauseous, also feel any motivation to try to ride disappear and with it any happiness. I'm struggling to find reason to life, struggling to continue to hope that things will get better, struggling to put on a good face and not break down and cry. If I'm true to myself this is all I feel like doing. Crying. I've never been good at allowing myself to breakdown though. I've always held these emotions behind a wall of composure. When I reach out to friends, they don't quite understand the loss I feel, the seriousness of it all. I hate where this path is leading. I can't cycle, I'm getting fat from what is both eating to try and feel I have energy and probably also emotionally eating, and feeling trapped in just working and coming home to do nothing. I know everyone's story of recovery is different. Everyone's timeframe individual along with thresholds and the most they will recover. But how do you stay positive in a downward spiral? How do you (or should you) accept how things are now, when you know what they were and what they need to be to be happy? I watched a movie (Me Before You) the other day about a guy that in a nutshell ended his life because he knew that he could never live the life that he knew he needed. Selfish maybe? It was an extreme case with him being a quadriplegic but has me questioning if it was selfish at all. When the injury causes constant pain and when there is no chance to ever be and do what it is that you need. When it feels like a step forward one day and a step, or two, back the next, and what you want to do and be moves further and further away, how do you stay positive? How do you keep going? thanks

ashish1 Struggled with having an appetite my entire life.
  • replies: 2

I've struggled with being underweight my whole life. I have a hard time eating anything and I'm a very slow eater. I've had many people give me looks and make comments because I either eat too slow or dont finish my food. For some reason I'll take li... View more

I've struggled with being underweight my whole life. I have a hard time eating anything and I'm a very slow eater. I've had many people give me looks and make comments because I either eat too slow or dont finish my food. For some reason I'll take like 4 bites out of something and get extremely sick of the food I'm eating. I also cant seem to eat foods that are difficult to chew like a hamburger for example. Not sure if it's because I have a small mouth or something else. Does anyone have any tips on how to force myself to eat without feeling like throwing up? I smoked cannabis consecutively since highschool but I just stopped recently because it made me a lot more anxious. Meds also decrease my appetite and make my body feel extremely sick. I feel hopeless. Please help.

smallwolf Not quite a journal
  • replies: 39

One of the things I write in replies is about maintaining a journal of sorts. It is not quite a journal though because the contents. Each day I start with -three things to look forward to -three positives and positive qualities shown -one pleasure, a... View more

One of the things I write in replies is about maintaining a journal of sorts. It is not quite a journal though because the contents. Each day I start with -three things to look forward to -three positives and positive qualities shown -one pleasure, accomplishment and gratitude The thing about this journal is that the smallest things are valid. For example, brushing teeth, showering, making breakfast, drinking coffee or hot chocolate. Starting off can be hard. But after a while it becomes easier. I still have problems some days. On these days phrases like "the small things" can still have a positive vibe. And this journal does not take long to write either. Over the next days, I will write my real entries here. If you want to add yours here, please do. Something like this practiced each day eventually should rewire our brains to think more positively. Best thing is that it is cheap. All you need is pen and paper and yourself. The fun starts tomorrow.

Fallen_apart How to start again?
  • replies: 33

How do you find some direction and purpose in life after it all crumbles? Had a decent life up till a couple of years ago, mid 30s, job, Mrs, home etc about to get married have kids etc. Kept my anxiety and depression under control for the most part ... View more

How do you find some direction and purpose in life after it all crumbles? Had a decent life up till a couple of years ago, mid 30s, job, Mrs, home etc about to get married have kids etc. Kept my anxiety and depression under control for the most part without a Doctor. Hurt my back, lost my job, career, my grip on my mental health, my fiancé and future and feels like pretty much my entire identity, and it all seemed to escalate with each different class of meds my doctor tried over two years. I am stuck in a cycle of depression and anxiety and a crippling loneliness that prevents me even thinking of anything that I could want/hope/dream/plan/think/do/enjoy. Everything I worked towards was stripped away and I can't even daydream about any sort of future beyond this. Its almost a year on my own and I can't see a way forwards. A lot of people laugh I know I should have it relatively easy- single guy, no kids, still got a house so far, don't drink or do crack. But iv lost my purpose and identity. How do I find that again when I don't even know what it is?

Deams Self Medication
  • replies: 3

Hi guys. This is my first time here. I'm middle aged and had depression throughout my life. Somehow I've raised two beautiful young adults and we have an amazing relationship. However, the constant self doubt and hatred is always present. I have alwa... View more

Hi guys. This is my first time here. I'm middle aged and had depression throughout my life. Somehow I've raised two beautiful young adults and we have an amazing relationship. However, the constant self doubt and hatred is always present. I have always sought comfort in alcohol and am thoroughly sick and tired of and hate it. And yet I keep drinking every night. The anxiety and loneliness is exhausting so I drink to alleviate. Does anyone have any tips for getting through the 'arsenic hour'? Thanks

Bella001 Hello, im abit embarrassed but maybe someone can help?
  • replies: 9

Hello Im pretty embarrassed and nervous to be asking but im hoping some of you lovely ladies might be willing to share abit of advice in regards to some womens health issues and how it affects/affected your mental health? Im feeling rather overwhelme... View more

Hello Im pretty embarrassed and nervous to be asking but im hoping some of you lovely ladies might be willing to share abit of advice in regards to some womens health issues and how it affects/affected your mental health? Im feeling rather overwhelmed and alone at the moment, so im hoping you guys will have some patience with me while i try to explain what is happening. i was going to write the post now but i cant really explain it properly, in the meantime it would be nice to meet some of you...

the_flash Advice for High Functioning Depression and Relationships
  • replies: 7

I wasn't sure which thread to put this under, but I decided this one anyway. Firstly, I'd just like to say that last time I was here, I found it very comforting to talk to everyone, and it really did help. I feel like I have managed to stay on top of... View more

I wasn't sure which thread to put this under, but I decided this one anyway. Firstly, I'd just like to say that last time I was here, I found it very comforting to talk to everyone, and it really did help. I feel like I have managed to stay on top of my live for these last couple of months. I'm doing well in school (term 3, year 10) and have enjoyed doing things a lot more then I have in a long time. I have seen the darker side of mental health and do feel like it has made me a more resilient person. The are two questions/ideas I wanted to discuss: How to cope with change in relationships, and how to have "reasonable" standards in a relationship. The first talking about mostly teachers, the second talking about personal relationships. When I say change, I am personally talking about when I leave high school. I have very close relationships with some of my teacher and I respect them and they respect me. Over the years, I feel I have become closer to some of them (in a completely non-sexual way). I feel like I can always ask them questions and they'll always listen. Honestly speaking, I probably have more teacher-friends then classmate-friends. (Do I sound pathetic yet?) I just feel like I am going to find it difficult to have them leave my life when I finish high school and relapse. I think I just need some way to mentally prepare myself for the end of school. The second question was referring to me having intimate relationships with a significant other. I would like to say that I don't plan on being in a relationship soon and would rather focus on school, but I still need to change my standards otherwise there is a very high chance I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. I have fulfillment now, but eventually this will most likely change. I have had two relationships in the past, and I have learned from them, but, at the same time, increased my standards by a stupid amount. I don't find myself attracted to any real people (TV show characters don't count, right?). I am pan(sexual) and have accepted myself, but simply don't know how to lower my standards to the point where I actually want to stay with my partner longer then two months, let alone the rest of my life. As I said, I am not looking for a partner right now, but in the somewhat distant future (maybe during or after university). Any reply is welcome, thanks Kirby P.S. I am 16, and their are about 20 students in my year. I am also the radical stereotype of an introvert, and am christian.

Spearmint Does anyone else find gardening therapeutic?
  • replies: 21

I'm attempting to grow some of my own food as I really like the idea of being self sustainable. Being outside, connecting with nature, watching my plants grow and produce food over time brings about a sense of peace and purpose. Does anyone else find... View more

I'm attempting to grow some of my own food as I really like the idea of being self sustainable. Being outside, connecting with nature, watching my plants grow and produce food over time brings about a sense of peace and purpose. Does anyone else find gardening helps with depression/mental illness? What are you all growing? I'm still a beginner, I spent months watering a plant that turned out to be just a weed haha. I have some capsicums getting nice and fat, also I have planted broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and cabbage seeds a couple of weeks ago.