Repairing your life

[white knight]

Many facets in life have stepping stones - setting agendas that has steps to achieve the end goal. My son in law is one example how he, at 31yo is to complete his doctorate this year. The steps he has had to accomplish along the way is amazing.

When it dawns on us that we have a mental illness we are often in shock. We likely were one of the 90% of people that didn't have a clue about what that entailed as such illnesses - "only happened to other families." Therefore our knowledge was limited. Our next reaction is to seek a "cure".

Illnesses have different outcomes. Anxiety for example is easier to cure than depression. Each are as serious as each other so it isn't easy to group them all together in terms of long term remedies. However, we can draw up a rough plan of the stepping stones needed to reach the happy bank on the other side of the river of mental illness.

1. Our GP is our friend. Not happy with the one you seek for consultations about mental illness? seek another. In fact I attend a medical clinic that has 6 doctors 4 of which come and go. I swap doctors regularly to get overall medical opinions.
2. Referrals. Some GP's can treat you. If more serious then he/she might recommend a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor/therapist for further treatment. Please do attend. You'll be amazed at what help they can provide.
3. Acceptance. The stigma associated with mental illness is huge and it can play with our minds to make us desperate to find a cure. We humans are imperfect, we need to accept that we can need a helping hand on occasions getting through basic life. Once you accept that you have a mental illness and it isn't any big deal, you'll cope better. You'll accept that the bad days come and go, that when you begin to feel better you can kick start your life again, return to your doctor and fine tune medications and so on.
4. A positive state of mind. If you have negativity it wont help you. You'll need to find motivation and positive thinking by means you might not have thought of like attending motivation lectures or reading books.
5. Distractions. Find a hobby or sport.
6. What is happiness? Learn to live as a happy person.
7. Preventing a return. Safeguarding yourself from toxic people. You'll function better.
8. Confidence- build on it. Move on from childhood issues if possible.
9. Care for yourself. Meditate
10. And all through this journey return your appreciation to those that love you

Can you add to those stepping stones?

TonyWK

[Jojo100]

Hi TonyWK

Thanks for the great post. Another stepping stone I found extremely beneficial was to get myself a dog. I was in a very dark place at the time and she literally saved my life. Dogs get you outdoors and people often stop and chat which is nice. Also having the responsibility gets me out of bed. If you are not allowed dogs or cats a fish tank is a good option too. Pets can make a world of difference.

One time I was in hospital and a visitor was allowed to bring in their dog it lifted the mood considerably and put a smile on everyone’s face.

Jojo

[Quercus]

Thank you JoJo for bumping this thread up. I hadn't seen it and it is a great topic (thanks Tony as always you have solid ideas).

Totally agree with your steps and also Jojo's about animals.

I would add...

1. Allow yourself to be utterly human. Setbacks happen. It isn't you failing just needing to reassess what you need.

2. Prioritise and practice saying NO. So often we run ourselves down. It is important to learn to set limits and boundaries.

I hope others join in with their stepping stones towards keeping healthy.

Nat

[white knight]

Hi

Wow, great ideas fully endorsed here.

A pet! Totally agree JoJo. We have a very cute mini foxy and yes, she is such a part of us and people love her. More importantly as you said, they can be very significant.

One suggestion when tragedy strikes wait a couple of months then get another pet. Dont hold back.

Yes Nat, sooo important to say "no". Obligations to others should be set aside so you care for yourself first, not in an inconsiderate way but in terms of expectations.

Say "NO"! If you arent able to cope.

Thankyou ladies

TonyWK

[Quercus]

Tony you got it in one when you wrote say no if you're unable to cope.

I find it hard to put my needs first but have found sometimes it is about learning a way to say no that feels comfortable for you. Mine is brutal honesty...

Yes I have the day off and I do miss you but I am exhausted today. Could we come visit on Monday or Thursday instead?

At work it would be I will check and let you know if I can do that for you by tomorrow morning. This helps me when someone tries to rush me into saying yes.

Not perfect but better than just endlessly running myself down.

Does anyone else have any ideas for Tony too?