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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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startingnew COPING STRATEGIES
  • replies: 95

hi everyone so ive only been on these forums for about 2 months now and have come to realise alot of people are after coping strategies. i have quite alot of coping strategies- not all of them work on me but i thought id share what i have and what i ... View more

hi everyone so ive only been on these forums for about 2 months now and have come to realise alot of people are after coping strategies. i have quite alot of coping strategies- not all of them work on me but i thought id share what i have and what i think of as it goes along and maybe itll help others. please feel free to add your own coping strategies too the more the better

Ronniefm Good thinking
  • replies: 10

And I do believe it's all about our thoughts Yep incorrect thinking! I know I suffered for years. I tell you this: try and work out where your thoughts come from. That's interesting!

And I do believe it's all about our thoughts Yep incorrect thinking! I know I suffered for years. I tell you this: try and work out where your thoughts come from. That's interesting!

Beltane Share your achievements, small or big!
  • replies: 165

Another nice little topic to chat about It's really important to those of us with mental issues to hold on to our achievements and successes, especially the ones over our illnesses. Each and every achievement, no matter how small you might think it i... View more

Another nice little topic to chat about It's really important to those of us with mental issues to hold on to our achievements and successes, especially the ones over our illnesses. Each and every achievement, no matter how small you might think it is, is so important. We should celebrate and take pride in each achievement- because each one is a step towards recovery. So in this topic I'd like us to share our successes. You can post as often as you like, every time you have an achievement or success you'd like to share (even if you think "but it wasn't that big a deal"). Yes it IS a big deal! Fighting an illness is hard work, so lets celebrate all our achievements! When i first fought my anxiety, my very very first challenge was to drive to the local shops. And I achieved it, and boy did I celebrate. Might not sound like much to someone else, but to me it was like climbing Mount Everest while wearing shorts and thongs (i imagine). So you better believe I went home and danced around my house celebrating my success! My most recent achievement I am celebrating is: I attended my first job interview in 3 years that i did NOT take any anti-anxiety medication whatsoever for. Every other interview in the last 3 years i've needed strong anti-anxiety medication. But after much therapy and hard work, i learned more and more coping skills. I was nervous about not taking the medication as I was so used to doing it, but not only did i get through the interview but i did it calmly and kept my anxiety well under control. I'm pretty proud of myself! (Also I got the job- yay- but unfortunately i cant accept it due to other reasons. But I'm still celebrating being offered a job!!!) So lets hear it! Whats a recent achievement, positive step or success you made? Take pride in it and celebrate it!!

white knight The labyrinth of friendships
  • replies: 11

Many of us are withdrawn, we aren't as outgoing as those around us. We look around and say to ourselves "I have no friends". If we need to work we prepare a resume, look for jobs, attend interviews and its not easy but we rise to the challenge or we ... View more

Many of us are withdrawn, we aren't as outgoing as those around us. We look around and say to ourselves "I have no friends". If we need to work we prepare a resume, look for jobs, attend interviews and its not easy but we rise to the challenge or we simply won't get work. Yet in finding friends we tend to think they just should be there automatically. That popularity among your own age group is a given. Why don't we accept that finding friends also needs effort and planning?, like looking for work or building a shed? For example. If you weren't the sporting type but to enable you to mix with a new group meant joining a table tennis or badminton team would you do it? If you weren't all that keen on gardening but to make friends you joined a basic florist course would you try?. The point here is that for those that feel they are suppressed in mood or other issues that reduce their outgoing ability, it will take effort to counter this. Put it this way, enduring cycles of depression or even negativity, loss of confidence will take some effort to seek out new friends. We don't need swarms of new friends. We really only need one or two. My wife met her best friend at a ceramic class and one at a sewing group. I met mine at a car club one at volleyball and another at a relaxation class. You also might need to wait until your mood is on the up cycle to find the mental energy to try such activities. Don't be too hard on yourself but do challenge yourself when you feel good. Just like looking for employment, finding friends needs some determination, planning and selling yourself. Sometimes moving on from friends that don't add value to your life. New friends won't come knocking on your door. Finding a new friend is entering a labyrinth. Meeting and considering if this one or that one will be compatible. Until one falls into place where the care is mutual and wonderful. Then you'll be so glad you tried. Tony WK

Just Sara When is saying "No" necessary and why is it so damn hard?
  • replies: 35

Today I've come across 3 posts where saying "No" has challenged them to the hilt. I don't know how many times I hear/read this from others. The beginning of my own 'No' journey was at 33 when my mother berated and threatened me for saying it. But I s... View more

Today I've come across 3 posts where saying "No" has challenged them to the hilt. I don't know how many times I hear/read this from others. The beginning of my own 'No' journey was at 33 when my mother berated and threatened me for saying it. But I stuck to my guns and the rest is history. I'm still practising, but it's always hard. I understand you don't need to feel the sting of MH issues to struggle with saying 'No'; it affects the best of us at times. Unfortunately though, it hits some harder than others. I was afraid of not being wanted, needed or appreciated. In my world that was interpreted as not being loved. I became needy, clingy and a little passive/aggressive. (Thru resentment of not being given the same attention in return) I was drawn to damaged partners who 'really' needed me. I'd make their life better thru my support, then they'd leave, have an affair or gradually pull away. Is this an epidemic or what? And is it women who do this moreso than men?

white knight Trust strangers at your peril
  • replies: 20

A very negative topic but one of reality for in my 61 years I've taken notice of the attitude of some people, that of, not trusting anyone until they prove themselves, as being not the right way to go. But now,I understand, we need to self preserve o... View more

A very negative topic but one of reality for in my 61 years I've taken notice of the attitude of some people, that of, not trusting anyone until they prove themselves, as being not the right way to go. But now,I understand, we need to self preserve our hearts. Trusting people that you dont know well isnt wise and hurt comes when they go "MIA". Lets clarify this. There are givers and takers in this world with a sliding scale between them. The danger I find is those that wear the mask of a giver but after a long association with me the realisation sets in...they are a taker. So whats the threat level of this? Only disappointment. Its like "will the real person please stand up"! So what I'm eluding to is the world of the mask. " they seek him here, they seek him there...they seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven, or is he in hell?...that damned elusive...pimpernell..." Its the masquerade that I find intolerable but its different to friendship of the type like a weighing scale Topic: the weighing scale of friendships- beyondblue In that thread I highlighted how my family had developed an unsatisfactory trait, of "Ive visited your place 5 times this year but you've been here just once". What Im talking about here is the bare level of expectations of a friendship or a developing one. So, back to the sliding scale. There are friends and family. Friends should exist at the start if the scale. Up until recently new friends held a position just near family on that "slider". How unwise. 95% chance of them sliding down that scale so why put them up so high at the beginning?....I know why, it isnt just benefit of the doubt, more like a situation of letting my heart rule my head. The danger of this is the hurt returning time after time. The positive is that one in 50 become lifelong friends that always remember "you always trusted me, how could I not love you". Sadly with mental illness that can include high hurt levels through disappointment, one must enter the fortress for when one lacks wisdom in any field one needs to develop an alternative. No natural crutch?, buy a wheelchair. Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue There is little chance of anything good coming out of such disappointment of a failed friendship. Internal words like "their loss", doesnt "cut the mustard". So my advice for readers that get hurt often by friends that dont return the bare basics of care a friend should show in times of need, check your values. Protect your heart. Sadly Tony WK

james1 volunteering suggestions
  • replies: 5

Hello, volunteering is a great way to help you stay mentally well. So I'm interested in seeing if we can share our own volunteering experiences. Perhaps those who are interested in doing volunteering but don't know how or what it's like can read and ... View more

Hello, volunteering is a great way to help you stay mentally well. So I'm interested in seeing if we can share our own volunteering experiences. Perhaps those who are interested in doing volunteering but don't know how or what it's like can read and see what may suit them best. Anyway for me, these are the groups I've volunteered with: - Cancer council: an office role for 3 months, working on building brand awareness. It was actually really good for me just coming out of high school because I wanted to see what working in an office would be like, and this was the first time I'd ever been in one. I found it on their website, and did about 2 days a week. - Oxfam: I've helped out with their trailwalker event. I really recommend having a look at this if you would like a longer shift for one day. Even if you're a bit more shy, there are things you can help with in groups of 4 or less: picking up rubbish and sign markers, putting up the sign markers, driving from different stops to deliver water...and if you do not want to walk much, you can check people in, be a general helper with setting up or packing up...there's lots to do and you feel like you're part of a big event, without necessarily needing to be with lots of people. - Volunteering at uni: I did tutoring for local disadvantaged high school students. This is also very rewarding for those of you who feel comfortable with tutoring. I did not even get particularly high grades, but it really helped me build confidence in communicating and even just getting used to being in an uncomfortable position (when I didn't know the answer to something) - Volunteering through work: through my work, I have done a mentoring role for disadvantaged primary school students. this was really great and it was so nice seeing the changes in my two kids over just 4 months. - Daffodil Day/Legacy day/etc.: most charities and things tend to have volunteering for people to sell the little trinkets. i must admit, this is my least favourite. For me, I take rejection quite personally and it's very tiring trying to get people to buy things (in Sydney) What are the ones you have done or are interested in doing? I'd love to try helping out with a soup kitchen next, and a friend of mine helps run little trips around Sydney for primary school kids with Vinnies which he says is great too.

james1 It's nice to hear, but that's not me
  • replies: 6

Okay so this is a more general thought/question that has been running through my mind for a while now. I have often thought the words, "that's not me", in response to a variety of ways to help me: - A speaker is telling us about his or her recovery s... View more

Okay so this is a more general thought/question that has been running through my mind for a while now. I have often thought the words, "that's not me", in response to a variety of ways to help me: - A speaker is telling us about his or her recovery story and how he or she managed to get through it. Me: I'm glad you got through it. But that's not me. I can't do it. - A friend tells me that he managed to rebuild a relationship with his parents. Me: I'm glad you and your parents managed to do that, but my parents and I are different. We can't do it like that. - A million people on the twitter share some kind of mental health hashtag. Me: I'm not any of you. So, in the wake of all this awareness building and sharing of stories which is really great, are we also at risk of alienating people? When I was very ill, hearing about other people's recovery stories made me feel worse about myself. Why can they get better and I can't? When I heard about other people repairing family relationships, I just felt like even more of a failure of a son - just as I had been told I was. When I saw so many people talk about their issues on twitter, yet in only 140 characters, I thought: why is my story so much more convoluted, less inspiring, and btw listens anyway to me? And all these people have so many followers! So my question is: have any of you also thought similar words, "that's not me" or felt alienated by what should be a positive experience? Or perhaps you'll also say, "but that's not me" to my thread, hahaha. (just in case you aren't sure, I'm totally okay right now.)

Chris_B AI (artificial intelligence) and the future of support
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, As technology progresses, there is an increasing amount of talk about the use of AI (artificial intelligence) and how it might affect support services in the future. At beyondblue, we're currently in the early stages of researching how w... View more

Hi everyone, As technology progresses, there is an increasing amount of talk about the use of AI (artificial intelligence) and how it might affect support services in the future. At beyondblue, we're currently in the early stages of researching how we might use AI to tailor content for people seeking information from us. But it's most important that we know how you, our members and regular visitors, feel about it. There are a wide range of possible applications for AI. At one, you have the idea of using AI to help triage people seeking assistance; at the other end you have the idea of using AI to actually provide support for people and have conversations. This is an open thread to discuss the implications of AI and how it might work on the beyondblue site. How do you think it could make your experience here better? Do you have any concerns? Have you had experience with using other services where AI is a component? Below is a link to a recent summary of work being done to incorporate AI into health services, to help jump-start the discussion: Confronting Dr Robot: Creating a people-powered future for AI in health

Chloe_M Who are you thankful for today?
  • replies: 23

Hey guys, i got the idea for this thread from some of the others in Staying well. We can use this thread to acknowledge who we are thankful for today and why. It could be a family member, friend, partner, someone on the BB forums, a colleague, a teac... View more

Hey guys, i got the idea for this thread from some of the others in Staying well. We can use this thread to acknowledge who we are thankful for today and why. It could be a family member, friend, partner, someone on the BB forums, a colleague, a teacher, or a complete stranger etc. ill start: today I am thankful to my best friend (let's call him 'L') for being there for me always and for trying to calm me down today when I had a panic attack about 2 new tests that are coming. who are you thankful for today? Chloe