Reality Check

[amd1953]

If you are feeling anxious and depressed, perhaps the last thing you need to read is a book written by Emil Cioran.   He was a Romanian writer/philosopher who wrote some of the most pessimistic books on the planet, including one entitled 'The Trouble with Being Born'.   However, the book is beautifully written, and it shows what other people have to endure during their lifetime.   I am always interested in what other people have to go through although most of us wouldn't feel compelled to write about it.   I could write a hundred books about my life in the hope that it would help other people.   Unfortunately, I lack the motivation to accomplish such a task, so I come on to the BB forum to try to do it that way.   Litle snippets of experience and knowledge that might just prove useful to someone who is undergoing a similar experience.   Sometimes, when I outline something on here, I think afterwards that nobody would have done what I did anyway.   For example, as a child I was convinced that my life was preordained in some way and that all I had to do was show up and everything would work out fine.   Not so!   In reality, you have to fight for everything you want while trying to assure people that you are worth their time.  Naturally, other people have had a hand in my downfall because I was convinced that everyone had my back.   Not so!   We are in competition with every other person on the planet and they don't always have our best interests at heart.   It would be nifty if we could transfer the history of our lives to a DVD and use them as training tools for the upcoming generation.   Just an idea!

amd1953

[Ggrand]

Well, I mucked my previous post up….accidentally pressed reply instead of my iPad button…😁…

amd1953….life has lots of ups n down….I remember a few years back, I isolated myself into my home and not going outside at all….I didn’t watch the news, still don’t because I don’t want negativity in my life and news is all negative…I was forced to volunteer or no JobSearch payments, it was a necessity and I had to go out into the scary and cruel world or else my poor dogs and I wouldn’t eat…I did it and that volunteer job made me realise that the world and most people living in it are nice, friendly and some were rude and disrespectful but it taught me that their are kind and caring people out their…I stayed there for nearly 10 years…even after I didn’t have to…because it gave me purpose…I  left at Christmas due to illness and I once again find I’m isolating myself from the outside world…which I’m working on to help me get out at least once a fortnight…

Life can be hard but life can also be nice…I suppose we have to do what we can for ourselves to help us find some peace for ourselves….I sit outfront each morning and have a cup of coffee while my body soaks up the sun, my ears listening to the birds, my eyes watching the clouds slowly drift by, as well as watching the t birds flying around or foraging for food….Maybe I’m being a bad citizen but I’m not interested in any world affairs, ie:- news, political things..they might concern me but I don’t want to know so I have made my own little safe world to live in….

I really felt for you when I read your heartbreaking soulful post and just wanted to give you a gentle 🤗 hug…so you might know that not everyone is bad…and their are caring people in this world..

My kindest thoughts with my care,

Grandy..

[amd1953]

Hiya Grandy,

Only joking about the people and small children.   Honestly, I love children, I eat three for breakfast every morning.

🙂

amd1953

[Ggrand]

Sorry amd1953….my bad for misunderstanding…

[amd1953]

I have a lifetime of experience and knowledge of human behaviour.   By rights, I should be awarded an undergraduate degree in human psychology.   As it really is, I have hardly touched the surface.  Throughout my life I have been both observer and subject.   I have first-hand experience of trying to be nice to people and constantly being rejected as being weak-minded or just plain stupid.   I have spent several minutes in a line of moving traffic, waiting patiently to be allowed to move to the next lane so that I can make a left turn.   I have been forced to wait until someone decided to allow me to make the move.   This has been the story of my life.   Always waiting to be allowed to do something that nobody else wants me to achieve.   I could probably understand if I was a mean-spirited person, but I am not.   I never have been and I never will be focused on my own needs above everyone else.   I have always tried to play the game, but the rules are always changing before I get to make a move.   Are we all so desperate to believe that we cannot allow a little compassion into our lives?   I am not saying that everyone is like that.   I'm simply pointing out that there doesn't always have to be a reward for allowing someone to reach their destination.   Life is nothing without a little empathy.   Or is that just a bridge too far?

amd1953

[therising]

Hi amd1953

What if certain non empathetic non feeling highly competitive self serving people are doing it all wrong and everyone else is feeling the consequences. Sounds plausible. Actually, sounds more than plausible. Btw, such people will tell us we just need to be tougher, more aggressive, less feeling, less caring etc. Ahh, lessons in how to be unfeeling and careless. Hmmm🤔 

Sometimes I find the hardest question to answer is 'How do I manage feeling/sensing so much of what's wrong in this world?'. How do we manage sensing what's heartless, what's way too stressful, what's depressing at times, what's agitating or enraging etc. What to do about being a 'sensitive' (someone who can sense what's wrong and what's right)? Of course, what's right and wrong is subjective. All depends on our beliefs, attitudes and more. But it kind of makes sense that what's 'right' would lead most of us to feel joy, peace, a sense of community (as opposed to separation) and so on.

Human nature is definitely a fascinating thing, that's for sure. How insane is it that we're taught not to automatically trust people. Just think if everyone was trustworthy, there wouldn't be a problem. But not everyone is trustworthy and it's the trusting people who often get slammed for being 'foolish'. How messed up is that, that the trusting people are degraded. Sometimes it feels like the world (in general) has it all backwards and we're living in a kind of backwards world. I think this is what draws me to the more soulful side of life.

Whether it involves books, podcasts, documentaries and stuff along those lines, for myself it's about researching and finding what makes all the difference while living in a backwards world. When to feel and when to not feel, how to feel in constructive ways, how to shift perception in ways that work, how to open the mind in order to be able to imagine or visualise what works etc etc. While I fully respect elements of psychology and even seriously considered studying psychology at some point in my life, I've found psychology does not cover certain elements of human nature. 'How to manage like a pro in a somewhat backwards world, from a deeply soulful perspective', isn't a huge topic in psychology. While the concept of spirituality is not everyone's cup of tea, in the world of spirituality (which can include elements of psychology, biology etc) 'How to manage sensing or being sensitive' is an enormous topic which offers a myriad of ways to manage. I much prefer to imagine and believe there are so many ways to master our ability to sense, as opposed to being led to imagine and believe our sensitivity is our greatest fault. I've found that without ways to master it, sensitivity doesn't just feel like a fault, it can also feel like a curse. We can be left feeling like we are destined to suffer forever through our ability to sense so much. 

PS. Regarding certain hihghly insensitive people, we may say 'I can easily sense your serious lack of compassion. The lack just screams at me'. While some feel the whispers of what's lacking, others feel far more intensely.

[amd1953]

By choice, I would never set foot in my car again.   I would gladly surrender my driver's licence and the registration plates on my car.   If I could, I would never drive again as long as breath exited my body.   Driving any internal combustion engine these days is fraught with hidden dangers.   Let me give you a hypothetical.   You have just taken delivery of a new car, and you are driving home.   You are feeling on top of the world and applauding yourself for such a good deal on the vehicle of your dreams.   The road before you and behind you is clear of traffic.   You settle back in the driver's seat, listening to your favourite song or piece of music on the radio.   You are radiant with peacefulness and happiness, until you glance in your rear-view mirror and see another vehicle approaching.   Immediately your heart starts to race and your palms become sweaty.   You think to yourself that this vehicle is rapidly gaining on you and well over the speed limit.   The car grows larger in the rear-view mirror, and you notice it is one of those boy racer types.

Now, the vehicle is about a foot off your rear bumper, and you wish that it wasn't so far to go to the safety of your driveway.   Suddenly the car veers to the right and swooshes past you, squeezing in between you and the cars in front.   You become angry and think about jamming down on the horn button.   But then you experience a sudden calm, and you retain your grip on the steering wheel.   You realise that exhibiting your anger at some anonymous stranger in a car is not the smartest thing to do.   In fact, it is pointless.  You adjust your speed and maintain a safe distance from the car in front.   Well done, you!   If only all of life's encounters were as simple to deal with.   I do not drive nearly as much as I used to so this scenario now bothers me far less than it did in the past.   When some people sit behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, it is a well-documented fact that they become different people.   They become knights of the road and ready to joust with anyone who dares get in their way.   It is your chance to be the white knight and to treat the encounter with pure clam and control.   One day you could become a late knight if your luck and your temper get the better of you.   Sleep well and prosper!

amd1953

[white knight]

And here I am!!

Back in the 1980's I was told by my therapist that I had to acknowledge a few things and one of those things was to get my mind into a more accurate perspective. That led to being "more realistic and discount the negative things in life.

It came to a peak when my two mates decided to take me on a camping trip away from all things human made, bit like the 20th century illness whereby concrete, humans and unnatural object creates a phobia, obviously I wasnt well.

We left late and arrive din the dark to find our headlight shining on 100 + tents. My friend said its usually vacant here. We drone to a lookout, very dark. In the morning I woke, looked across a valley and saw high voltage power lines running across the valley with those huge pylons and destroyed habitat under. I broke down.

Them days I lived in the city so I embarked upon moving to a regional town 3000 people just large enough for all the needs. Best moved I could have made. I got my sanity back.

That incident might never happen again, yes it was frightening and he was stupid, but on a positive note, you're still here. If we focus too much on the negatives we waste our time. Below is a thread I wrote on how all this changed for me. You only need to read the first post. 

CHOOKA CHOOK

Chooka chook had an angry look as she washed the dishes dry

Her friend- Pecky the hen

Was taken away to be fried

Then Rooty Rooster came to pass and saw Chooka sad

He sad “Don’t be sad”

You haven’t been cooked, or plucked or baked till your skin is black

Unlike Daffy Duck who got cooked till he couldn’t quack

Chooka Chook no longer sooked, she did her dishes fast

She never cried while she had her hide

She lived each day as her last….

"All the glory of a bee collecting nectar can be lost if focussed on its ability to sting..." TonyWK

Your thoughts?

TonyWK

[amd1953]

Every morning I awake, I desperately need to find some kind of profound inspiration for the day.  Something that I can read or hear that will help to give me focus and uplift.   I go on to Pinterest where they have many quotes that really help to boost the mind into something spiritual.   I know it sounds a bit corny but some of us need that.   One of the best ones I have found so far is a quote from Bertrand Russell.   He is supposed to have said, "Be isolated, be ignored, be attacked, be in doubt, be frightened, but do not be silenced."   If that doesn't raise the hairs of the back of your neck, then I don't know what does.   I find the world completely draining and confusing.   I will also throw in disappointing and annoying.

Collectively, people are the world we all inhabit.   What harm would it do find a little empathy in our hearts when we make the move to judge others for what we see in them.   We each have our story to tell, and we all have our cross to bear.   Why not make it a little easier to find humility and grace as we go about or day?

It wouldn't cost much at all.

amd1953

[white knight]

How true, the impact can be profound.

I make up my own quotes I use here sometimes making them up on my posts. I told this one a few days ago-

"if we focus on a bees ability to sting... we miss its wonder of collecting nectar"

another I like from someone else-

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations"

and mine-

"without boundaries some people see an endless landscape of abuse without fences"

Thanks for your post.

TonyWK

[bananatoast]

Hi amd1953,

I hope your day is going well.

I acknowledge that you are trying hard and I totally understand the need to have something to keep going. I actually do that a lot too, sometimes waking up in the morning and forget what was the thing or things that keep me going. I get lost in the big world, left wondering why can't things be abit easier than it actually is and wonder why are human so hard the more I understand human.

Usually I get that little push from people I care about, from random strangers that smile at me, and sometimes things that makes me feel like I can be out of the real world for little bit like music, poetry, arts... It's such an impactful thing when we feel so understood and seen through those activities and through reading a relatable quotes, it makes the world seem less unfamiliar as someone see what we see too, feel what we may be feeling and that seem to really give this feeling of a cozy warm hug sometimes. 

I just want to share a story as your quote came from Russell. I remember when I had one of my philosophy subject, Bertrand Russell's theory of description was especially intimidating for me as I don't do so well with logic. Reading those philosophical text back then, I remember thinking that maybe one day I can make sense of this world by knowing more and do really well with logic. After all, I realised some things I just cannot make sense of and I just have to learn to be in this world that is actually not logical at all.

Thank you for your post and for sharing the quote.