I wanna flee

[Thom]

I never felt appreciated and accepted since I was a little. Only had a few friends. Most of the people i knew in my school mocked me or thought im weird. Tried to fit and get along with the people i knew, that doesnt work out. Even my family thought im weird. No one even there when im facing it alone. They said that they’re busy with office work. Had a 2 sister, none of them dont even care maybe because of Im a boy of some shit. Moved to melbourne ever since then when im 18. Actually i already moved here when im still 17 for university because i cant stand it. Im not even smart and my grade looks trash, somehow i still chose bachelor of science because i liked animals. Somehow i felt like they have much more common sense than human who dont give a fuck. Everytime when i’m doing my work, i felt like im being a perfectionist, yet i havent improve anything yet in my way of study. I felt so dumb choosing these bachelor, but i dont want to choose business like my dad ordered me to and be like him. Made a few friend here… i think. Still doesnt feel like im fitting somewhere.Tried hanging out with them but i dont think it even goes well. I never open up to someone just because everyone gonna ask why am i weak or some shit.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I think I understand how you feel. 

As wise old man asked me a question when I was a teenager struggling with my grades "What's the most important job in a hospital"? I went through the professions, doctor, surgeon, nurse, CEO... nope to all. The he said "cleaner"..." If the cleaner didnt clean and disinfect surfaces, disease would spread, everyone would die"

It taught me that education isnt the most important goal you can have. A profession you enjoy and can perfect is the most suitable job you can get. 

Weird? I would rather be that than a copy of everyone else. A unique individual you are and being yourself is essential to inner peace. But your challenge is accepting yourself and ignoring those that play the game of isolating others. 

I could suggest group therapy where people will encourage you so you'll grow confidence. I also recommend the following threads, just read the first post of each.

Beyondblue accepting yourself

Beyondblue 30 minutes can change your life

Beyondblue worry worry worry

I hope they help. Feel free to reply, I'm here daily

TonyWK