Being kind to ourselves isnt common among those of us with mental illness. We just dont believe we are worthy of any rewards. Why would we? We dont do anything right to be giving ourselves gifts right?
The problem here is that everyone needs or can benefit with pampering. We thrive on it because it feels good. We respond better after a holiday. We have a spring in our step if we buy clothes. We enjoy a chocolate bar after 2 weeks of dieting. This is what could be seen as normal in the act of balancing our lives. Balance of sacrifice with reward.
The problem facing many MI people is that we are not always balanced. We are indeed extremes in behaviour...be it moods, speed of doing things , sensitivity, reactions even speech. In this instance we are talking about those that make huge efforts and are over concentrating such efforts to the point whereby they dont reward themselves. Over commitment. Low self esteem plays a major part. The need to claw back our lives towards normal.
I know from my own experiences that another factor plays a part. That the obvious is missed. We could due to a low opinion of ourselves miss or dismiss the inner need to pamper yourself. So how do you pamper yourself...effectively?
Too many parents feel obliged to share their time window shopping with their children. That in my view is rewarding yourself with an enjoyable activity and taking it away with the negatives that come with it. The tantrums or what they want. It just isnt quality time. Quality time is crucial to this plan.
A good friend perhaps? I'd suggest spending an hour before meeting your friend, shopping alone. That will give you more to talk about and you'll be relaxed.
A walk in a park can be as fulfilling and less costly especially for low income earners. The scent of a rose and the watching of bees and birds more surreal. Whatever you choose choose it for you. Give back to yourself some thankyou for effort.
Do you reward yourself? How?
Tell us what you do. It could help a reader come to terms with the concept of caring better for themselves.
Tony WK
