On this forum theyte has been a consistent number of members struggling with the plight of being alone.
If mentally struggling, one can feel totally alone in a crowded room. And there distinguishes why lonliness is more challenging for us. Loneliness for us isnt just being starved of human company...it being starved of human company, including yourself but the principles of remedy are the same, just with added difficulties.
The basics of loneliness isnt complex. Breaking the barrier of fear to participate in sports from olympian down to cards games, competition fuels adrenalin to sometimes reach the level of passion. Passions divert a troubled mind to goals. Dwelling melts away...its all about the next game and participating not necessarily winning.
Hobbies are a a means to connect with others too. Although some hobbies can be lonely like knitting if you dont join a knitting group for example.
So sports and hobbies are two conventional methods to try.
Friend selection is crutial for us. The more often we choose the wrong person as a friend, the less our confidence stays intact. As we grow older our wisdom from choosing wrongly makes it easier to pick the right ones.
When younger we tend to attach ourselves to those with only one or two common interests. A "friend" at a car club owning the same model car that shares a similar profession might seem a candidate for your time yet those common interests has zero to do with whether she/he is a toxic person. Hence time and time again we go through the friendship split.
Try doing some subtle homework. Listen to others. Keep your distance - it isnt a rush. Watch for the signs of things like a controlling nature, dishonesty, dependency and the most important of all ...empathy, the ability to walk beside you through those periods of struggle, AND VISA VERSA. Dont forget to help them.
Limit your talking about you! Keep that brief.
Friendships are no different than finding a soul mate. Like all aspects of our life we endure the extremes more than the "normal". But we can halve our difficulties by possessing an attitude of never giving up.
I pushed a friend away I'd known for many years. It turned out he was talking behind my back in a cruel way. That didnt mean the next friend would. Thats my golden rule. Never compare people or its like comparing an orange to a tomato.
We can be fickle, sensitive and moody. We, the mentally unwell can also be the most loving and caring on the planet.
Tony WK
