Worried about other users - how are we all doing?

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too.  Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings.

I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress?  Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it?

Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

[Jo3]

Hi Chris,

I have fallen in a heap again.  I was doing ok, or so I thought but maybe I was wrong. On the weekend I chatted on line with others and helped them deal with their stuff.  but i now don't know why I'm feeling like the way i am. So damn weak, emotional and just not with it at all.

Self care plan - walk down the beach, listen to music, meditate (all of which I find extremely hard to do right now).  Why is everything getting to me.  

Sorry it's not much of a reply at all

Jo

[Chris D]

Hi Chris and Jo,

Better than days before but still very much battling. Jo you are NOT weak it's the condition that is talking not you.

Self Care Plan - listen to music/radio, read book, sleep, watch funny dvd. All at the moment i have shut out because i'm just not up to it.

Chris

[Jo3]

Hi Chris,

Maybe being on here is a trigger - but it shouldn't because I am helping others; I'm supporting others because I know and understand what it's like to have depression, anxiety and BPD.  But then if it is - what do I do - stop going on here.  I don't think I could leave because I really need support and help from others as well as me helping others.

I don't know; I'm not really sure what to think.

Jo

[Euroatheboat]

Hey, its funny that I am depressed and yet I am feeling much better that this place exists.  Well done to you all for being part of a great thing.   Troy

[geoff]

dear Christopher, this is a very thoughtful comment from you, but also a very valid point.

There are many people who indeed reply to others, but they are not well themselves, as they are struggling with their own aggravations, and their problems just stick to them, or they come and go, and the annoyance of this berates their living standards.

The excellence of this site is that when they offload their problems is that they begin to feel better only because they can talk to the people on here who have been through the same or very similar circumstances and who understand and can relate to those seeking help.

Nobody is perfect, and not everybody hits the point from those asking for help, but it's another avenue for them to consider. Geoff.

[Beetle]

HI

This side helps me a lot on the road to accept that i have depression and anxiety. I was only able to get on here after my meds had kicked in. Before It was too much. I could not have even read one post without crying and getting off the rails So i didint. I did call BB  though. now i enjoy to reply to others and hope it may be helpful. I also found it very helpful to get feedback from people who went through similar stuff what makes me feel less " alien".Since im newly diagnosed i still dont know much but can at least share my story,

My safety plan is: if i feel some post is affecting me, i get offline and do somehting else and if its really bad i would call BB.

I feel pretty stable at the mo and think i would be able to protect myself from harm.The meds give me some protective shield so that I can think and reflect before I take action. that means the time to realise its the 'beast talking' is prolonged which is good 🙂

Great psot chris!

Beetle

[Guest_3712]

Hi Chris,

Appreciate the concern and follow up. I am feeling suitably chastised and apologise for the unintended furore surrounding my post.

How do I cope? I don't know . trying to offer some support for others diverts my thoughts from my own issues, not necessarily the best approach for my own mental health according to my psych, and probably to the professionals at BB

Yes I feel ,"I've been there" when I read some posts, and yes sometimes I feel so distressed I can't reply even if I wanted to. But then  there are the times where I think, I believe I have something to offer and I'm going to put it out there.

When I started posting on BB the thing that really appealed to me was that I could say what was on my mind without fear of being ridiculed or challenged.  I have no idea why I think I am in any way qualified to respond to others- obviously given the unrest I have caused  I need to re-assess my involvement.

 I'm not sure how I feel or what to do re the last few days, I don't feel I achieved anything and in fact I believe I may have caused more harm than good.

So as you have intimated  maybe I need a 'time out'. Please except my apologies anyone I have upset.

Be kind to your selves

Stressless

[Chris_B]

Hi Stressless,

I apologise if you feel chastised by my responses, that wasn't the intention at all.  Just wanting to flag that among the many different triggers we all have for distress, sometimes the forums can be one of them.  Sometimes it's just the opposite, and talking to others and helping can be a distraction from your own issues, or help you find a solution you hadn't thought of, and that's great too. 

I started this thread so we could get some discussion going on what we do when the former happens, how does everyone manage themselves around triggers?

There's no need to apologise for expressing your feelings, sometimes it can be hard reading about other people doing it tough and being stuck behind a computer and unable to do more than write words.  That doesn't mean for a second that any members should feel held back from talking or contributing about what's going on for them out of worry that you might upset others.  That's what our moderators and community rules are here for, this is a non-judgmental space and is here for everyone to use in addition to other supports and services.

[Jo3]

Hi Chris,

I agree with what you're saying to Stressless.  I do have a coping plan prepared by myself and my psych.

It is so easy to get caught up with another member's message especially if it is upsetting or someone crying out for help. Because we all want to help each other.

I know members on here wanted to help me & Mares over the weekend.  I felt very humble by all the responses we received.  It is so nice to know there are so many beautiful caring people on here that want to help.

 But I understand that BB can only do so much to help us.

Thank you for your continued support, and a fantastic forum BB has created for us members. 

Jo