This time of year seems to raise the topic of loneliness more often than other times.
For whatever the reason for feeling lonely, it is a state of being that leaves us with the problem all by ourselves. It's a bit like patience, we cant buy it nor borrow it from others so loneliness, the remedy, can elude us.
I did mention a number of key issues on this topic here-
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/loneliness--a-remedy-of-mind
The main thrust of that post was to focus on what you have not what you dont have. In other words, you might well be lonely and that can be a sad place to exist, but you are breathing and hopefully warm, sheltered and have food.
Ok, so that's one way to cope and improve your mental state about your lonely existence. What we cant ignore though is the adage of conventional remedies most people seek out with this problem- lets look at those and analyse.
- Clubs. Men's shed have been around for a long time. I wont attend any, why not? My individual needs includes not being obliged to finish off a project if I'm unwell. I'm also reactive to those with a bossy demeanour. Finally, my charity work is covered in this forum. For many men though the Mens Shed is a fabulous place to be with comradery and sense of purpose. Females have their specific clubs also. My wife in our old town attended a sewing group. Our most recent hobby is slot cars. We have the option of racing them of watching others do so. Clubs are "hit and miss" affairs. Dont give up, try another.
- Computer groups. I'm in several Facebook groups. Some people shy away from Facebook but I learned a long time ago that FB is great unless you fail to control your own site, the people you allow to use it and other features you might ignore. So the ideal limitations are- limit the number of friends (40-100), allow your posts only to extend to "friends" not public and immediately block incompatible/toxic people. The latter become quite automatic after a while. The benefits of FB is uploading photos to family and friends and ease of keeping abreast of developments as well as news and special interests
- Get a dog and make sure its a cute one (or two, they play well together). You'll be amazed at how many people talk to you and friendships flourish over a common interest. Join a dog club. We have a mini foxy, adorable. If I was single I'd buy another one.
Does anyone else have ideas to remedy loneliness?
TonyWK
