Autism diagnosis

[That Other Guy]

Hi everyone.  I've posted a bit here in the past but drifted away

I am in a struggling marriage, I constantly think about leaving.  that's always the subtext for me, and the thing on my mind

I found a service that I thought might give me an autism diagnosis and did a first interview.  I talked about an incorrect schizophrenia diagnosis from my teens, and my abusive childhood.  The woman told me they think I have a type b personality disorder.  That's things like narcissism or borderline.  My son has diagnoses of borderline and autism, making them not mutually exclusive.  I'm just left feeling that something that has helped me understand myself has been taken away, and I've been told I am something that seems quite toxic to me.  I'm not sure what to do or where to go?

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear The Other Guy,

Their are so many different diagnosis’s to do with our mental health….and I think we can continually look for the one we think we have…and then not believe or put our trust in our Dr. and the diagnosis they gave us……Then going from Dr to Dr to hope that they diagnosis what we think is wrong with us…..then we are given a diagnosis that we have something that upsets us…and then again, our belief in that diagnosis isn’t their….

What I’m trying to say, The Other Guy…is it doesn’t matter what we are diagnosed with, it doesn’t change who we are…it, in a way doesn’t really matter…if we have anxiety, depression, PTSD, borderline etc….We are still us…and each day we try our hardest to get though it the best we can….With most diagnosis comes some type of meds…sometimes they help, sometimes they don’t….but even with medication we still have these symptoms and we still need to work out the best way that we can live and survive each day…..

Please, The Other Guy….Take good care of you, the best way you can…that’s what’s so important…regardless of what diagnosis you have been given, self care and acceptance of who we are…is important…Please be very gentle and caring toward yourself….

My kindest thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

[That Other Guy]

Thank you very much.  I agree, the label does not change who I am.  I don't think there's medication for anything I'm being suggested, nor would I take any (I am a software developer and I can't afford to mess with how my mind works).  Apart from my marriage, my life is pretty settled and in control, although I don't really have friends.  So I was not looking for anyone to solve anything.  I just found being told I am a narcissist quite confronting when the thing most people notice about me is how hard I work to be kind to people and put others first in my life

[Petal22]

Hi The Other Guy,

Wellcome back 😊

Im sorry you are feeling this way at the moment.

But I just wanted to ask you why being diagnosed as personality type b makes you think it means you have narcissism?

I believe that even if people who have this disorder do have these traits it doesn’t mean that you do.

I believe that we can have the traits we wish to have it’s a choice we can either choose to be positive or negative it comes down to being conscious of how we want to portray ourselves.

If this condition does bring out narcissism then it’s up to us to see this in ourselves and then change it…… 

It can take inner work to change from the inside out  it takes practice.

[That Other Guy]

Thanks for the reply

There's an article in the Guardian about a woman who got a late diagnosis and she talks about when she was doing the test she was scared she DIDN'T have autism.  'If I don't have this one thing that explains me then i have just failed at being neurotypical'.  I kind of feel that

All the diagnostic criteria of type B disorders apart from separation anxiety, are deeply negative.  I think separation anxiety is the only one I exhibit, but apparently this woman disagreed.  I agree, we can have tendencies and try to control them to be better people.  This woman suggested I was EXHIBITING them.  

I have always been the strange, lonely weird guy.  The idea of autism gave me something to hold on.  I wasn't a disaster.  I was just not neurotypical.  That I'd be told I am not autistic honestly did not even occur to me