Learning to Be Gentle to Yourself

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Sometimes our thoughts can be our own worst enemy where finding some peace from depression and anxiety. I have listed a few tiny little helpers that if practiced can help us help ourselves find some true calm in our lives. If you have had any joy in changing your thinking to bring even a little peace of mind please post as many will benefit 🙂

• Delete the word 'hate' from your vocabulary. Using the word 'dislike' is less mentally draining and non toxic (word substitution)
• Many people dont take time out to do absolutely nothing..being super busy sounds good but not for a 'tired mind'
• Fighting depression/anxiety will only make the illness worse...calm and true acceptance of symptoms will reduce their severity/impact
• Help a person doing it tougher than you....by phone...face to face...or the forums (if your energy levels permit of course)
• Book frequent appointments with a GP/counselor....not infrequent...you deserve to heal..and have peace of mind
• Treat yourself when you have had a good day...you have earned it..
• Avoid overly critical and negative people....they will only hinder recovery
• Walk slow...Talk slow...Think slow...

I hope everyone has a great week and thankyou for taking the time to read my post.

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Dizzy

I am usually good at responding to post on my own my thread......until now...sorry

When you bought those work boots early August....did you buy them because of comfort or brand name? 🙂

If I may quote you again on something you mentioned: "Dizzy said "I'm here and a living example of what hard work and determination can achieve when facing unimaginable adversity"

What a legendary quote......Love it Dizzy 🙂

My Best

Paulxx

[CMF]

Hi Paul,

Great post, love the suggestions and thx for sharing.

"Avoid overly critical and negative people..." This is a big one for me. I try this and actually pointed out to the person that he makes my anxiety worse because of his demeanour and how he reacts and speaks. Well, he got quite offended and said it was a bit rich of me to say he made it worse. This particular person cannot handle and "criticism" at all, although he critsizes often and speaks his mind about people. It hard when someone you have to deal with, who claims they are open minded, cannot accept or see how they can be making you feel worse. It's fighting a losing battle. I often step back and look at something I may have said or my own behaviour and accept it may not have been right. Some people just think they are perfect, that nothing they do or say could be wrong or could affect how someone feels. Guess they can't handle responsibility - I dislike that - no one is perfect.

cmf x

[blondguy]

Hey cmf, thanks for the nice compliment and your post too 🙂

It can be so hard (but sometimes crucial) to leave negative and overly critical people aside....It sounds easy but of course it isnt...It can be sad and make us feel guilty too

I felt like a million dollars after I 'took a long break' from my dad 3 years ago when he was being toxic and destroying my health.....Its one of the best decisions I have ever made. I love my dad.....but that doesnt mean I have to like him....

cmf...you have a huge heart and also an intelligent and well articulated person. The person that you told that was make your anxiety worse would have benefited by hearing it. You are strong by mentioning it to him and good on you too.

Just a teenie thought...when someone says they are 'open minded' and they still continue to exercise 'control' with their mannerisms/demeanor.....its time to gently shut the door....even temporarily will be a benefit to your health

you will never be alone.....you are too strong cmf

Thankyou for being a great support for me too...(Hugs)...if thats okay....Paul xo

[Just Sara]

Hi Paul;

Thanks for the (unnecessary) reply; of all the boots I tried, these were so light-weight - comfy indeed..being Redback was a fluke..not really up on the brand name thing, but the sales rep was!

Looking back at the quote you chose, I'm thinking it's exactly how I've encouraged myself. It is one step at a time, and one success at a time. My confidence and creativity is finally resurfacing; can't wait for it to turn into 'Passion'

I bought a caravan a few years back to do up and sell. What a bomb! So daunting in the beginning, but each brush stroke led to another until undercoat and top coat's were done. Then the flooring and finishing touches one by one. I did this in the middle of winter in the poring rain on my own.

The moral of the story is of course determination, patience and hard work. One thing that kept me going? That bloody caravan! I know it sounds silly, but sometimes it'd just pop into my head at times I felt disheartened. For me it was 'my' encouraging metaphor..

Thanks again Paul..always a pleasure..

Hug's..Dizzy xo

[CMF]

Thx Paul

Hugs right back at you!

cmf x

[CMF]

So I am looking through old threads and came across this one. I thought I'd revive it as I think a few of us need to be more gentle with ourselves. I see many being hard on themselves, on decisions they have made and they don't have to be.

in my eyes, this thread goes well with the 'Do you love yourself' thread'

cmf

[blondguy]

Hi CMF and thankyou for dusting off this thread

I just read the points I made on the opening thread and they really do apply to many people who are being hard on themselves.

Sure sometimes it can be difficult to do but its great to have a place to start 🙂

You are right about being 'gentle' is easier than loving ourselves.

Kindest

Paul

[Ggrand]

Hello Paul, everyone else.

Just tagging.. something I'm needing help with. Will read later when able to do so.

Kindness only

GG

[blondguy]

Hey Everyone.....Your thoughts are Welcome 🙂

I have learned early to avoid using the word HATE.

It can directly effect our mental health.

A great start to be 'Gentle' to ourselves may be avoiding using the 'H' word

Your thoughts?

My kindest

Paul

[CMF]

Hi Paul and anyone reading,

yes, the H word is a strong one and quite powerful which we often don't realise.i used to use it when referring to my ex, when I was in an unhappy, angry place, full of hurt. It fuelled my hurt even more. I try not to use it in regards to people anymore because having that feeling hurts me more than them.

I do use the H word for other things ie I hate cooking, but I say this with laughter, not anger so it's not as powerful.

cmf x