Dear New Member~
I take you seriously ans am listening. The main reason is you sound a lot like me as I have had depression amongst other conditions. The lack of motivation, the frustration at how you feel and behave, and the anger that follows are all familiar. So to is not enjoying things, and not being able to tolerate other pople such as you family except for brief periods. In my case it was because my mind was already full of hopeless thoughts and there was no room to interact with others -the same reason as not going out or starting study etc. On top hte worry about it all and being seen as lazy - a totally inappropriate idea.
I left things like that for a very long time, and as a result was hard to treat. Fortunately you have started to see how things are and have come here, a good step as the time you have been in this condition seems considerably less than mine.
I simply could not make myself better on my own, in fact the longer I left things the worse it got.
In desperation I sought out professional help, first with my GP and then a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression and received therapy and medication. I'm still on meds today however them and the therapy have made a huge difference, I'm not the same person.
It took quite some time ot find the right meds for me, which ( mostly) do the job and have no real side-effects or build up of tolerance.
I'm busy with work/volunteering, have hobbies I enjoy including reading which used to be big part of my life. I enjoy being with family and give and receive love and support.
So can I suggest you seek out support, as I did. I was in a pretty bad way so I'd guess if I can improve a great deal others such as yourself may do so too.
If you would like to come back and say how you are getting on that would be great
Croix
