Ecomama, you missed a gorgeous day in the calm, clear as crystal, dark aqua blue waters near my place yesterday. Just the right tides, not that many people there at all....saw a lady who recognised me, old acquaintance, and we caught up for ages and ages, just chatting about our lives, the whole time, caressed by the uplifting, healing , cool saltwater.
walking in, the water is so clear you can see the bottom and tiny fishes swimming around, hoping you might have a crumb or two...floating on your back, your view is at times, endless blue sky, waving tops of palm trees, silence and peace. Make sure you join me next time hey?
Can anyone explain why, when I am simply enjoying myself, choosing my own activity, or non-activity, not being productive or hard working....I always have this niggling thought that I "should be doing something else". Rather than just relax and "be"...I get glimmers of guilt that this feels good, therefore it must be wrong for me to do. There must be something else unpleasant but necessary I must attend to surely; or...will anyone be disappointed, displeased, did I ask anyone's permission to just feel good? No, I didn't. I didn't get anyone's approval, so I should not be doing this.
I wonder if others of my generation (late 60s) feel similar sometimes. a throwback perhaps to our upbringing with emphasis at school, then in the workplace to always please, please, please...Others?? To always put ourselves last? How old do I have to be to put myself first? Isn't this selfish.? I should be volunteering somewhere, doing something useful .......how shallow of me to even imagine I deserve to come first and do what makes ME feel good! When will I "grow out of" this guilt when things are feeling good?
