Does any feel invisible in social settings and with family.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone.

Sometimes feel unnoticed and ignored so that I feel invisible. Some people are interested in themselves so they chat about themselves and don’t seem to here my questions. 
When you feel that people don’t listen, don’t see you, don’t understand you, reject you as a person, it is hard not to feel invisible.

How do others cope when  they feel ignored.

Any ideas and comments are welcome.?

[Croix]

Dear Quirky~

I guess one of the 'quirks' (sorry about that ) of human nature is in such situations a lot of people will believe what they are being told by the actions of others - that one is not worth talking to. Rubbish of course.

It take an ability to step back a pace to see things as they really are. Civilized people will be courteous, even to those they have nothing in common with, will hear what thay say and try to include that person with the others.

If they don't even attempt civility then one would have to draw the conclusion they are self-centered and insensitive. I'm sorry to be blunt.

In the many years you have been on the Forum it has become quite obvious you have interesting tales to tell and your help of others means you are not 'indivisible' at all.

I tend to find if I and others followed the example in the Desiderata then things mostly work well. The fact the Desiderata was written shows others have had similar problems and can end up with 'vexations to the spirit'

Is there any possibility there are other people you can get to know or be with who are more enjoyable, even polite ?

Croix

[quirkywords]

Thanks  Croix.

I think as I get older I feel I am invisible to some. I feel this sats more about others than me.

[Croix]

Dear Quirky~

I'm afraid you are right, but those people are not alone. I don't know why but in our society there is often a sort of blindness where older people are concerned and their value, abilities and experience are simply ignored.

There are so many times I've watched someone retiring becuse they are expected to at a certain age and are it is assumed they will be happy with a much more curtailed life.

One of the most satisfying things that has happened to me  was to train a younger person to take over the complex technical matters I'd been doing. It took over a year and emphasized the value of my skill - and freed me to enter a new even more complex field:)

Between the stall and the thrift? shop I hope you get the respect you deserve.

Croix

[tranzcrybe]

Um... Oh, there you are!... 
Perhaps if being ignored (ie deliberately avoided), then you have grounds for feeling the way you (or anyone) would, but that is a problem the other person is creating for themselves (based on their own insecurities) and outside your immediate control.
However, sometimes it is just the feeling by itself that creates the outcome: "I feel no one is listening so I will shrink away from the group" and this emanates and perpetuates itself pushing further away and actually reinforcing the notion in others that perhaps you would rather be left alone.
Even if forcing yourself to engage, having this pervading thought can impede natural (and stimulating) conversation - affecting intuitive responses and even misinterpreting what is being communicated.
I believe a heightened self-consciousness is employed when feeling threatened in gatherings (like when needing to give an impromptu speech), and for that reason I try to leave my 'self' at the door to avoid taking anything too much to heart - it's not a seminar or interview, just a chance to relax and enjoy the company of those we care about (even those with whom we may have a chequered past...) but frankly I would rather listen than perform any day - let the showmen have their moment in the sun, I say!

[quirkywords]

Trans

thanks for your comments and suggestions.

Listening is a skill I have developed but some people never learn that skill.