Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[quirkywords]

Tony 

I like this sentence 

I say you are what you are determined to become.

i agree to a Point but some are determined but their circumstances make it asruggle and hard to become who they want to be..

Tony your posts are inspiring. 

[Fiatlux]

Despite all the terrible abuse I have suffered and been subjected to I have never felt the need to abuse another.

I hate that it has eroded my trust, my self esteem and has imprisoned me in my life circumstances.

I hate that I don’t have the courage and strength to get out and away from my abuser right now.

I hate my abusers and there have been a few.

BUT, I don’t hate myself. I don’t love myself otherwise I would have gotten out earlier but I do like myself.

I am smart and resilient enough to get through this. Today I learnt that I am stronger than my abuser but I refuse to fight dirty whereas my abuser likes to get down and dirty, only to realise that the mud I sling back occasionally does stick. 

Today my abuser told me that nobody likes me and that’s why I don’t have any friends. I corrected him saying, that nobody knows him and that is why I choose not to have friends. But again the people who he considers friends, do not actually know him. He rarely shows people his true self and his dirty little secrets are safe with me for now.

A dear friend, now deceased once said to me that I don’t know how powerful I am and one day when I decide to wield that power, my enemy will run for cover and won’t know what hit him.

So, yeah my super power is the fact that I do like myself…. Regardless of how shit I feel every day.

[blondguy]

Hi Guest_50030126 ( thankyou  White Knight and Fiatlux for your support too!)

Welcome and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue Family too! 

You are a very strong and caring person. It can be a struggle sometimes when we dont like ourselves Guest_500. I understand your frustration feeling lost for any reason. Thus why I wrote this thread topic.

Only if its okay...can I ask what is causing you the most stress at this time? 

The forums are a judgment free and secure place for us to post Guest_500. Any questions are always welcome!

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here (on any thread topic) for you!

my kindest always

Paul

[CMF]

Hi Fiatlux & all reading, 

My superpower is knowing my worth. It's knowing what I have to offer & what I deserve.

Last week I made the decision to cut someone out of my life. I told them exactly what I thought of them. My words were harsh, even I can't believe what I said but it was years of being taken for granted & being told I'm not enough despite them telling me I'm beautiful,  they love my smile & I'm the best person they know. Despite all this & other things they still want to keep their options open. I didn't like what I said but it was the only way to cut the string & ensure I didn't get reeled in again.

I had to do it so I could love myself again, recognise the good in myself & what I have to offer. 

Cmf x

[blondguy]

Hey CMF

You are and always have been strong. You have just saved yourself years of your life Country Music Festival.

Our self worth is our spine. 

A special note if I may...You mentioned something extremely important "they still want to keep their options open"  This is similar to keeping someone 'on hold'. Unacceptable.

Ive been in the same situation myself and its not a nice place cmf.

I hear you loud and clear...very strong and very smart

Paulx

[CMF]

Thanks Paul. Appreciate you 🙏

[CMF]

I'm haven't been feeling very good about how I had to end things with my ex.  The harsh things I said.  I've been questioning myself & how I could say such things. I haven't felt good about myself but I realise it was years of feeling hurt & unappreciated that caused my reaction. Someone I've loved & trusted for so long has taken me for granted & hurt me yet again. Saying & going all these wonderful things with me but making it clear I'm still not enough. Yet I've been struggling & questioning myself.  I understand now that whilst my reaction was harsh it was raw & honest.  I accept it did not make me feel better but was the only way to ensure he knows how his behaviour affected me & doesn't use me again.

I'm accept it wasnt nice but I'm getting back to liking myself. I an worth more than he could ever realise or appreciate. 

[quirkywords]

Cmf

It can be hard saying honestly how you are feeling.

l am sorry you feel not good about how you had to end things with you with your ex.

After my reading your post I think you know what you had to do .

I admire you for doing something that even may mean you feel uncomfortable.

 I feel that you love yourself enough to know how you deserve to be treated and for that I think will done

[Fiatlux]

Today I hate myself.

Every Day I live with my violent husband, I am protecting him.

I am harbouring a violent criminal in my home. I hate that! 

[CMF]

Oh Fiatlux,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have no words but please know I hear you & I care for your wellbeing.

Cmf