Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[CMF]

I can relate Quirky. Today I was talking out loud about a process at work. My colleague helped put together a training piece & I find it confusing ( not her fault. It's the program) & there was some double handling. I was talking out loud about it being confusing & she took itt personally & walked out. I called to see if she was ok & she full on yelled at me saying I was criticising her & it's not nice etc. I tried to clear up the misunderstanding & I apologised for making her feel that way but she just kept yelling at me. She is always talking about how others are not nice to her. Seems everyone does things not nice to her. Somehow it's ok for her to yell at me though. I'm sure I won't get an apolgy from her. It has really upset me & I don't even want to go into the office tomorrow.  I don't want to be around her & don't trust her  as it's happened a few times now. I have lost some confidence as I don't know what mood she'll be in & often feel on eggshells. It serms to be a pattern with her. Victim mentality. He reaction & yelling at me today was very distressing for me. No one has ever yelled at me at work like that before * accused me of criticism.  I felt sick all evening & don't know what to do tomorrow 😔

[quirkywords]

 CMF I am sorry your colleague treated you like that and misinterpreted  your words. 
I have been accused of being a bully and if you knew me you know I  am nothing like that. She has problems and needs someone to help her. Sorry Cmf that you had to experience her frustrations. I hope you are feeling better soon. 

[CMF]

Hi Quirky, 

I ended up taking a day for myself next day. When I returned to work I spoke with her & again apologised for the misunderstanding & explained how her reaction made me feel. I got no apology or understanding.  She said oh, we are different, that she moves on & I don't. It made me see another side of her. I'm proud of myself for being able to see how my actions/the way I say something may affect others & that I can have a conversation about it. I like that about myself. I have moved offices now & am closer to home. My colleague & I are back to normal, we talk most days but I have seen a side I don't like. I am more wary. I like how I was able to be open about MY feelings in a calm & mature way. I'm proud of ME.

[quirkywords]

Glad you are proud of yourself, I am proud how you handled the situation.