Day 5 of dry January-quitting marijuana & alcohol

[Emm78]

Hi,

I’m on day 5 of my new life! Been struggling heaps with the emotional tears, insomnia, headaches, nausea, restlessness & frustration of resisting the temptation (as my husband is still smoking, but not in my presence & friends still drinking in front of me).

atm I am unemployed after 2sacking, (1 not my fault)for last 13wks. With no govt help it’s becoming very hard to survive financially & then I have been rejected for every job applied for, I’m struggling to accept my medically 🤬 up body & brain & because I’m trying to be a better human decided to go cold 🦃!

I found night times are the worst as for the past 5yrs my routine was to have a drink and a bong from apx 6pm. Longest I’ve gone is 8 days without a drink and about 2 without dope. Found marijuana.org had some good info & then remembered my friend recommended BB.

The forum helped me survive another night I’m now in bed with a 📖 having cuddles from the 🐕 🐶

Have counselling on Tuesday, so I’ll probably be back on here tomz. Thanks for the vent.

Here’s to clean living!!!! Once all the yukkyness has gone 🥵🤯🤮🤢😄😁😍😂

[Emm78]

Thanks Tess!!! great going Tess!!👏🏽😊🙌

no im not using alcohol coz I can’t sleep, think last night was just a case of I got the taste!😋

I did drink my vodka very slowly over 3 -4 hr period but I’m pretty sure it’s coz I don’t normally drink with mixer as I don’t like soft drink (of any kind, I’m a have 2 mouthfuls and give it to my husband or it takes me nearly all day to drink a can).

Well I got a casual bar job had the induction today but it’s only events so I probably only get 1 shift a week so still on the lookout

Thanks for the support & sleep info I’ll have a look

[Tess2]

You are doing great. Well done with the job.

I have just done about 5 hours ironing. And now am being a couch potato. It is a beautiful evening here.

Tess

[Burdy]

Hi Emm, Tess & Geoff,

Sorry I haven't checked in for a bit - haven't been in the best place.

So glad to hear some work has come up for you Emm, it may not be alot to begin with but am sure it will open doors to more. My last job at the interview they said they could only give me one day a week, I started on a Friday, they rang me on the monday to work again Tuesday and I worked 5 or 6 days a week for the next 15 years 😁

Also a big 👍 for the no dope, well done.

I haven't had a drink all week despite not feeling the best about myself. So that makes me feel better. I did go to the pub last for a friends birthday party, I had 3 pints but I asked bar staff to make it shandy with 3/4 lemonade and 1/4 beer 😁 they looked at me weird but it was quite nice, still gave me the taste but was under control.

I bought a heap of meat tray and raffle tickets... guess who won a bottle of Jim Beam 🤣🤣🤣 Damn really wanted the meat tray.

Have a good weekend all

🐦

[Emm78]

Hi Burdy,

That's so funny about you winning the Beam😂🤣 , I would of been with you and wanting to win the meat pack. Sorry to hear you've had a bad week! was it your crohns ?

Must of been the week for it. Mine was pretty terrible too! I spent most of the week dealing with the job stuff and centrelink and job agency (all voluntary to up my chances) it was just a rehash of how crap my life has been medically and mentally, I was so irritable and on edge which all came to ahead on Sat... I was going to go to the mental health ward at the hospital but thankfully my husband was home and able to talk me through most of it.

After spending some timeout with my father and couple of friends for dinner, I had one glass of wine after dinner but then came home to drink the rest of the bottle until I spilt the last glass that went every where and I lost my shit and had 5 cones on Saturday night.

My husband tried to talk me out of it by saying hey before you do that please think about it!!! you've done so well and now you'll be really disappointed with yourself. Thankfully I just looked it as a bump and it was bound to happen eventually so better now than a few more months done the track.

so i'm back to day 2 and have a doctors and a counselling appt tomz.

all the best Burdy (here's to a better week)

[Emm78]

Well I spent from 1.30pm to now 10.30pm in emergency to be told i have everything under control! 😞😫😢 so back to my local gp and counsellor tomz

so over these mental health problems, hopefully I get some sleep tonight xx

[Burdy]

Thanks Emm

My Crohn's is under control to a point. My self loathing not so much 🙄

I hear ya!! I'm so over it too, just wish the internal dialogue would shut up for a while.

Have given my diet a big overhaul this week, feeling a bit better - will see how long this lasts 😏

Glad you thought about your little bump Saturday sensibly and are not beating yourself up over it, self care is priority. And like when I had my stumble off the wagon, as long as we pick up and keep going the next day and not just throw in the towel after one little slip.

Also glad you are following up with your gp and counselor, something I'm still yet to do.

Did you end up taking that bar work? (Sorry I have forgotten, head like a sieve at the moment)

🐦

[Burdy]

I forgot to add, your hubby sounds very supportive, that is so great.

I hope you get a better result today and come home feeling more supported. Our mental health care can be so frustrating and so lacking in this day and age of awareness. I think that's why I haven't got myself a care plan yet, besides the inner dialogue telling me I'm being stupid and just get over myself, i also have lost faith in the system a bit.

Anyway I hope you have a much better day today xx

[Burdy]

Well it was (and still is) a scorcher here today🔥🔥

I spent the day pumping and running water to stock (I'm a farmer) coz of course our bore ran dry yesterday, in 47° heat. We also do not have air con and with temps over 36 the last week with no real relief over night, todays inferno had heated the house. I go out to water and check animals every 2 hours, sweat a litre, come inside to dry out just in time for the next run.

So with all that said I just cracked a beer and I don't care 😁

Hope everyone else had a much more comfortable day.

🐦