One of the best things I did recently was to create a "sheet of positivity" that I've had laminated. I created this to remind myself of successes I've had, which are easily forgotten when I get depressed. Thankfully, I have other people helping to remind me that I'm not a failure too. You & your ex-wife had three children - from where I stand that is a success story. There is nothing wrong with cross dressing - if it makes you happy enjoy it. If cross dressing is leading to confusion, shame, &/or guilt talking to someone about this is really important.
Reaching out here is a great start. I've leave "who to talk to" recommendations to others.
