Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

smallwolf

I'm not that much of a fan of Christmas. To me, it's fake. And pressure to be cheerful, social, and “festive,” and I often find myself feeling the opposite. And so I’m also trying to look after my mental health a bit more this year, but I’m curious how others cope during this season.

What things do you do at this time of year to take care of your mental health?
Anything that helps you stay grounded, calm, or just get through the holidays?

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

_Gigi_

Hi smallwolf,

I used to be a big fan of the holidays, but nowadays I tend to find them a very sad, lonely and stressful time of year. Something that helps me is spending more time with my pets. My cats are happy to have a cuddle, and there's no pressure to put on the "holiday cheer" around them. We are truly lucky to have such lovely animals in our lives.

melodica

Hello Smallwolf,

I relate strongly to the mix of feelings that come up for you at Christmas. It can be a heavy time for me too. Over the past few years, I have looked for small ways to make the day feel more bearable. Staying connected here helps, and having simple plans for Christmas Day gives me something steady to hold on to.

Have you thought about the community Christmas lunches that local groups run. They can make the day feel less isolating. I have also stepped back from the usual pressure around gifts. It only works if it aligns with your values. I keep it to a few small things for the people closest to me.

For me, the season is more about offering empathy and time to others, because many are carrying far more than they let on.

smallwolf

hello all,

It's not the lack of connection. Perhaps too much. A lot of it I find fake. Maybe I'm jealous of those who find joy in this time. Me... just another day, except with gifts. And faking happiness.

moody-_ahhhhh

honestly very valid, Christmas events can be very overstimulating particularly with the pressures u mentioned. do you feel its partially because of the people you spend Christmas with?

In a similar boat where I want to know how people change their self care and remain calm at the end of the year

PetaP

I feel the same way. As Christmas edges closer, I feel myself becoming panic driven. You know …. Cook more, spend more etc etc. none of which i can afford. The grandkids have soooooo much already, they are impossible to buy for. And gift vouchers? Ha ha. I think you need to splurge out $100 for the kids to be able to buy something they “really want”. ????!! I cannot afford $100 x 6 grand kids.

and the cost of food? Horrendous. Yes, that increases my anxiety definitely.

I am a pensioner - 76. I have a beautiful family, but they are all sooooo busy! They make me feel I feel old and useless and out of touch.

It saddens me too that NONE of my grand children have been raised to learn about the birth of the baby Jesus. But they know alot about Santa and his elf!

randomxx

Hi there smallwolf , and sorry to hear you won't be enjoying things.

Christmas, l dunno.Not married anymore but ex helped me really start liking it just for the beautiful day we'd have if, ifffff, we just stayed home with our own little family. They were really cool Christamas l miss them as we broke up later on.

What l don't miss though is the dreading for wks before, when we'd go down 2hr drive to her family every 2nd or 3rd. They weren't so bad but once the niceties were done just never did have anything to talk to them about was always a longgg painful day.

My side were a good 3hrs, so 7hrs driving on a Christmas day, you wre done before you even got there and so many of them that l'd often say some silly things bc l'd already be buggered before we even started from the drive. lt was ok there but the drive was mad. same , every 2-3 yrs we'd go mine. Ours at home were the best ever though.

This one, my daughters 3hrs away won't catch her sad to say, we'll prob catch up before or after though.

Prob just be me and l this one. Got a brother 15mins away but he usually goes down to his gf's.

Don't really mind this yr though , been a really stressful few mths, lot of driving to. lf it's hot might even go to the beach.

Hope you and others get through ok.

rx

smallwolf

Hi PetaP,

You said that it saddens you "that NONE of my grand children have been raised to learn about the birth of the baby Jesus."

I guess my question to you is ... while they may not have been raised that way, do they know about the birth ofi Jesus (from your perspective). I don't know if it would have to be something to talk to your children about (their parents) first or not. It could be something like ... "do you know what I celebrate at Christmas..."

Of course I don't know how old the grandchildren are either.

Just a random thought.

smallwolf

Hi rx,

Thanks. I've always been like this... though only speaking about it here and now. This year, my family are coming to my place. Wife will be working on Christmas day. I will be assisting at at least 2 Christmas services. A feeling of emptiness. It has been hot here also. Makes me tired. And expectations with parties to attend at this time.

randomxx

Hi smallwolf.

Sorry to say but that all sounds about the equivalent of a 7hr drive doesn't it , maybe more , so l could well understand.

So weird isn't it l mean religious or not it should be all the opposite of what we somehow end up with , or just another day if we;d rather right. Strange how we seem to end up trapped sometimes.

Hope you get through anyway.

rx