Beyond the Blue Horizon

[amd1953]

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon.   Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me.   What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge?   What is it I need to know in this final stage of life?   Who knows?   Who cares?   Well, I certainly do.   I want to understand everything that comes my way whether it is meant for me or not.   Life is short enough without the sensation of feeling cheated and deceived.   The challenge is to discover how to cut through the nonsense that cloaks its true meaning.   If I were a camel, I would feel at home in the desert.   If I were a dromedary, I would, indeed, feel cheated.   See Wikipedia for camels/dromedaries.   Spoiler alert!   A dromedary only has one hump.   If I were searching for a new home, I would look to the exoplanets.   Cosmologically speaking, a much better place to permanently reside.   The moon would be much too close for comfort.   I am thinking another galaxy would be great.   Certainly within a short drive to the restaurant at the end of the universe for tea and crumpets.   Like Albert Camus, I am a rebel without a cause.   I choose the absurdist rather than the existentialist philosophy.   Everything in this life is engineered towards those with skills, talent and the will to succeed.   I have now lost sight of the blue horizon.   I am in freefall back to earth where I will lie quietly in the lush meadows and star at the blue sky.

amd1953

[white knight]

And here I am!!

Back in the 1980's I was told by my therapist that I had to acknowledge a few things and one of those things was to get my mind into a more accurate perspective. That led to being "more realistic and discount the negative things in life.

It came to a peak when my two mates decided to take me on a camping trip away from all things human made, bit like the 20th century illness whereby concrete, humans and unnatural object creates a phobia, obviously I wasnt well.

We left late and arrive din the dark to find our headlight shining on 100 + tents. My friend said its usually vacant here. We drone to a lookout, very dark. In the morning I woke, looked across a valley and saw high voltage power lines running across the valley with those huge pylons and destroyed habitat under. I broke down.

Them days I lived in the city so I embarked upon moving to a regional town 3000 people just large enough for all the needs. Best moved I could have made. I got my sanity back.

That incident might never happen again, yes it was frightening and he was stupid, but on a positive note, you're still here. If we focus too much on the negatives we waste our time. Below is a thread I wrote on how all this changed for me. You only need to read the first post. 

CHOOKA CHOOK

Chooka chook had an angry look as she washed the dishes dry

Her friend- Pecky the hen

Was taken away to be fried

Then Rooty Rooster came to pass and saw Chooka sad

He sad “Don’t be sad”

You haven’t been cooked, or plucked or baked till your skin is black

Unlike Daffy Duck who got cooked till he couldn’t quack

Chooka Chook no longer sooked, she did her dishes fast

She never cried while she had her hide

She lived each day as her last….

"All the glory of a bee collecting nectar can be lost if focussed on its ability to sting..." TonyWK

Your thoughts?

TonyWK

[amd1953]

Every morning I awake, I desperately need to find some kind of profound inspiration for the day.  Something that I can read or hear that will help to give me focus and uplift.   I go on to Pinterest where they have many quotes that really help to boost the mind into something spiritual.   I know it sounds a bit corny but some of us need that.   One of the best ones I have found so far is a quote from Bertrand Russell.   He is supposed to have said, "Be isolated, be ignored, be attacked, be in doubt, be frightened, but do not be silenced."   If that doesn't raise the hairs of the back of your neck, then I don't know what does.   I find the world completely draining and confusing.   I will also throw in disappointing and annoying.

Collectively, people are the world we all inhabit.   What harm would it do find a little empathy in our hearts when we make the move to judge others for what we see in them.   We each have our story to tell, and we all have our cross to bear.   Why not make it a little easier to find humility and grace as we go about or day?

It wouldn't cost much at all.

amd1953

[white knight]

How true, the impact can be profound.

I make up my own quotes I use here sometimes making them up on my posts. I told this one a few days ago-

"if we focus on a bees ability to sting... we miss its wonder of collecting nectar"

another I like from someone else-

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations"

and mine-

"without boundaries some people see an endless landscape of abuse without fences"

Thanks for your post.

TonyWK

[bananatoast]

Hi amd1953,

I hope your day is going well.

I acknowledge that you are trying hard and I totally understand the need to have something to keep going. I actually do that a lot too, sometimes waking up in the morning and forget what was the thing or things that keep me going. I get lost in the big world, left wondering why can't things be abit easier than it actually is and wonder why are human so hard the more I understand human.

Usually I get that little push from people I care about, from random strangers that smile at me, and sometimes things that makes me feel like I can be out of the real world for little bit like music, poetry, arts... It's such an impactful thing when we feel so understood and seen through those activities and through reading a relatable quotes, it makes the world seem less unfamiliar as someone see what we see too, feel what we may be feeling and that seem to really give this feeling of a cozy warm hug sometimes. 

I just want to share a story as your quote came from Russell. I remember when I had one of my philosophy subject, Bertrand Russell's theory of description was especially intimidating for me as I don't do so well with logic. Reading those philosophical text back then, I remember thinking that maybe one day I can make sense of this world by knowing more and do really well with logic. After all, I realised some things I just cannot make sense of and I just have to learn to be in this world that is actually not logical at all.

Thank you for your post and for sharing the quote.

[amd1953]

I just love that question.   What's on your mind?   Gosh!   Where do I start?   Well, I could start with being born.   Not one of us asked to be here and not one of us will get out of here alive.   Placed in perspective, that is an absurd situation.   Why can't we live forever and just regenerate every few hundred years?   Would anyone want to live forever?   That is the question I am just dying to ask.   Birth is where it all starts for all of us human beans.   For some it will work out just fine but for others, not so much.   There will be whispers of mental health issues which habitually corrode our minds.   Then there are people.   Our fellow Homo Sapiens who will prove to be either a help or a hindrance during our short stay on Planet Chaos.   I can only speak for myself and yes, I do not doubt for a minute that there are good, decent law-abiding souls out there.  I just haven't met any yet.   As for me, I am a strange concoction of the good, the bad and the ugly.   I am a saint and a sinner and everything in between.   I have done my fair share of giving and I have done what I can for others in need.   I have willingly donated to various charities and literally funded other people's chosen lifestyles.   Overall, I don't think I'm a bad person but that remains to be seen.

I have been called everything under the sun, and I am convinced that people look at me and think I am stupid.   If I had any sense, I might be tempted to agree with them.   However, it is the old sticks and stones proverb.   I continue to live my life as I see fit.   I may be surrounded by nine billion other souls, but I do not know any of them.   Would I really want to?   The few that I do encounter from time to time, I just smile and keep walking.   If I am lucky, I may receive a grunt or a vague nod of acknowledgement.   It bothers me not.   If given the chance I could survive a direct nuclear strike and tell a mighty fine story afterwards.   In the end, all of my days are numbered, and my hidden shelf-life is a matter of conjecture.

I am alone and wish to stay that way until I fall off the perch.   Let the world forge ahead without me.

amd1953

[white knight]

Well, an interesting post

What about the wonder of life? Coincidences,  earth is at the perfect position from our sun to develop life. Our moon is at the exact distance from us to give us waves and weather. Humans developed due to one in a million chances. Here we are. Intelligent and wonderful. 

Then there's reproduction of life. When that happens, a parent has more than enough reason to provide, protect, guide and nurture. 

Why are we community champions and some members  here? Because to care, to show empathy for those struggling through life gives purpose, there's nothing more rewarding than saving people from dark society or themselves.

Dark society? Yes, as a former prison officer I can admit that you cannot change the dark side of society but you can move to a place with little likelihood of crime (3-6,000 people) and on Facebook you can block 🚫 the toxic trolls, through life you can drop off the manipulators and embrace like minded people.

"If we focus on a bees sting we miss the wonder of it collecting nectar"

As for living forever? Over 60yo that changes. By then you'll accept you no longer want to. Until the life can be a blast...

[amd1953]

My adventures in this world have, sadly, amounted to very little.   If I had been worth my salt, I would have cured all cancers by now, fed every starving person in the world and halted climate change.   As it stands at the moment, I have achieved none of these things and never will do.   I have endured one of those lives which is probably better to erase from my mind than celebrate the fact that I was here.   I am now over 73 years of age and getting older by the day.   I have had my tilt at those windmills that obsessed Don Quixote and now I lie battered and bruised in a field somewhere in Flanders.   I have hung up my sword and shield for a life of peace and contentment.   In my time I have been a Grand Master of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and a Knight Templar.   A sparkling resume for someone so invisible to the modern world.   These days I tour my castle quoting huge chunks of Shakespeare to an appreciative audience of loyal courtiers and disinterested bats and spiders.   Sir Laurence Olivier would be proud of my Henry V.   It is all a slow but relentless slide into a lot of nothingness while I attempt to retain my sanity.   A task which weighs heavily on an already troubled mind.   A world awaits me outside which has not only lost its way but also the will to do anything other than fight and make life more depressing for those who never have a say in anything.   Tis a sadness born of tragic comedy!

amd1953

[Shell4]

Hello there. I don't fully understand all that you wrote. Yet it is written with an elegant type of mind. Maybe filled with a mystery of some kind.

I wonder if you are discussing purpose in life. Perhaps our own unique purpose of why we are here. I think I am bringing this up because I walked through a cemetary today and read some of the stones . And these people who I don't know once lived and now they no longer do. I thought what is the purpose in all of this. 

Anyway a big hello to you

[amd1953]

Hello Shell4,

I do tend to waffle when I am in full flight and if I lose anyone along the way I can only offer my apologies.   It's just my way of expressing myself or at least trying to I suppose.   I can't stand the idea of leaving this place without having had some kind of presence.   Although sometimes I wonder if this is the right place to offer what I do.   I like to make people think and to question what I say.   I feel as though I have been misunderstood all of my life.  This is my way of attempting to make amends.   Perhaps that is the mystery.   

Regards

amd1953

[amd1953]

According to the experts, we should all be getting our essential eight hours of sleep per day, we should walk everywhere rather than drive our cars, we should all eat extremely healthy diets, and, above all, we should be happy and not worry.   Love it.   Of course, I follow that list every day to the letter.   On average, I get about two or three hours of sleep per day.   I've just purchased a new car, so why should I walk?   My diet is woeful, but I don't really care all that much about it.   I'll live as long as the good Lord decides I should and not second longer.   Yes, I would much rather trudge through this world as a grumpy old man than face the alternative.   I experience new aches and pains every day, but I don't give them a second thought.   I am happier now than I have been over the last seven decades because I care less about needless things and I mind my own business.   I stopped caring about the expectations of other people and their opinions of me.   I gave up worrying whether there is a nuclear war coming my way and what the latest health warnings are on the food I eat.   I stopped thinking about a lot of the things that made me feel ill and I consider myself to be in a much better frame of mind today because of it.   I gave up buying things that I didn't really need to ensure the economy stays afloat.   I expect to pay exorbitant prices for most things I want or need such as water and electricity.  It isn't what things cost; it is the profit margins that people demand to maintain their chosen lifestyle way above the rest of us.   What a nonsense world we live in!   If only we could wake up from our slumber and smell the roses instead of the horse manure.

amd1953