Beyond the Blue Horizon

[amd1953]

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon.   Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me.   What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge?   What is it I need to know in this final stage of life?   Who knows?   Who cares?   Well, I certainly do.   I want to understand everything that comes my way whether it is meant for me or not.   Life is short enough without the sensation of feeling cheated and deceived.   The challenge is to discover how to cut through the nonsense that cloaks its true meaning.   If I were a camel, I would feel at home in the desert.   If I were a dromedary, I would, indeed, feel cheated.   See Wikipedia for camels/dromedaries.   Spoiler alert!   A dromedary only has one hump.   If I were searching for a new home, I would look to the exoplanets.   Cosmologically speaking, a much better place to permanently reside.   The moon would be much too close for comfort.   I am thinking another galaxy would be great.   Certainly within a short drive to the restaurant at the end of the universe for tea and crumpets.   Like Albert Camus, I am a rebel without a cause.   I choose the absurdist rather than the existentialist philosophy.   Everything in this life is engineered towards those with skills, talent and the will to succeed.   I have now lost sight of the blue horizon.   I am in freefall back to earth where I will lie quietly in the lush meadows and star at the blue sky.

amd1953

[amd1953]

Once again, I am going to wish the world a very merry Christmas and a happy new year for 2026.

Best wishes for inner peace and harmony

amd1953

[Croix]

Dear Amd1953~

Thank you for you good wishes, I see it's at least the second time you have done this. While not everyone celebrates Christmas the feels behind it of family, friendship, goodwill and peace are pretty universal and much to be wished for.

It does present a time where people, who might not have seen each other thought the year can at least send messages and catch up

Do you have any special plans for the 25th? I will go visit my son, daughter-in-law  and grandson.

Croix

[Croix]

TO OUR MODERATORS, after hours and business hours alike.

I'd like to give a thought to our moderators who endevour to keep this the safest place for all of us

I'd wish them all a happy holiday break and an excellent year for them all ahead. you are valued.

I would hope others would join me in these wishes

Croix

[Sophie_M]

Hello Croix 

Thank you so much for your kind words.
Messages like this truly mean a lot to the moderation team. 
We're grateful to be apart of a community that looks out for one another and we appreciate your thoughtfulness and support. 
Wishing you and everyone in our community and beyond a safe and restful holiday period as well. 

Warm regards
Sophie M

[amd1953]

1.   I wish I had fought back against the bullies at school

2.   I wish I had run away from home when I had the chance.

3.   I wish I had accepted one job over another.

4   I wish that I had never married.

5.   I wish that I had never joined the ADF.

6.   I wish I had been born better looking than I am.

7.   I wish that I had been born smarter.

8.   I wish my parents had never met.

9.   I wish that I had not wasted so much time trying to fit in

10.   I wish that I could leave this world behind me and fly to another.

[Croix]

Dear Amd1953~

I've looked at the things you wish had been different and think some you have already accomplished. Your past posts show you are smart, and you fit in here just fine without effort. Your Christmas message show a kindness in you. 

You now now how to handle bullies, after all they could pop up anywhere, not just at school. Similarly now you know how to interrelate on an equal basis with others.

I could go on though the rest however I'm sure you can see that there are often hidden benefits in things you wish at first had never happened.

I wish now I'd never joined the police as it made me ill and recovery has been long. At the time I was full of enthusiasm and enjoyed it. Which is better, I don't know.

I know if I'd left my parents I would not have ended up with a guide as to what not to do as a parent, from a grim upbringing came wisdom and able parenting.

Most importantly you do already leave this world and fly to many others, from the fun galaxy of Douglas Adams to the horribly logical world of Albert Camus and there is so much more others have conceived.

 As I get on in life  I, like most, have regrets about situations, about the actions and choices I made, but I have the opposite too, a long list of what went well, what I enjoyed or took satisfaction from.

You can prize the knowledge you have gained though your experiences, good and bad, and now know what to look for.

DON'T PANIC <--(large friendly letters)

Croix

[amd1953]

When I was going through the worst phases of my life, I could only place my faith in one person and that was the person who I saw in the mirror each morning.   I had no one else to turn to for support.   I had to go through it all alone.   That was the way I was raised, to try to solve my own problems and just stop moaning and get on with it.   That is what I had to do whether I liked it or not.   At the time, I felt like the lowest most wretched person on the planet and I was sure the rest of the world was laughing at my misfortunes.   There was no support number to dial, no reassuring voice at the other end.   No one was coming to save me.   If I wanted to survive, I had to work it all out myself.   And that is precisely what I did.   It was like walking through the valley of death but eventually, I came out into the sunshine at the end of it.   Of course, it was an ordeal and of course, I endured pain and suffering, frustration and disappointment.   When I look back on those terrible times, they are now just a dim dark memory and that is where I want them to stay.   I have nobody to thank but myself.   I pulled myself out of the abyss that threatened to swallow me up whole.   The hard-hitting truth about being alive is that the majority of people do not give a hoot about anyone else unless it affects them directly.   Look at the world today and think about that.

Peace and Love

amd1953

[Psychdiaries2]

Hey there, 

Nice to see you back on the forums, I'm glad you're here!

It is truly a commendable thing to do to not give up and to keep going, especially when you're going through the worst all alone. You sound really proud of yourself for working hard and getting to the other side of a dark time. And you should be proud! It's not easy to struggle, particularly when you are your only cheerleader. 

I'm sure your post will encourage and uplift those who are struggling with something today. Wishing you well!

[trying_my_best]

Hi amd1953!

As another person who went through tough times alone, I’m glad that you have found your way to this forum! It is truely something incredibly strong to go through something alone, but I know that if I had the knowledge of these resources when I went through my hard time maybe I wouldn’t jab felt as alone. So I commend you for joining the forum even after getting yourself through that period! Because I didn’t. 

Wishing you the best 🫶

[amd1953]

In the past, which is where I used to live, I was a willing slave to autonomy.   These days, I am the king of all I survey.   As a child I was already preprogrammed to obey the dictates of the "grownups" otherwise I would be punished.   Well, how could anyone not want to strive to be so good that one becomes the personification of perfection.   In those days, anyone older than me knew better than me and I was expected to toe the line and do what I was told.   Even teachers had the blessing of the system to mete out corporal punishment and all in the name of authoritarianism.   A swift slap across the side of the head was bound to work wonders for any errant wrongdoer.   This is why I hated school.   I had to contend with bullies and the teachers.   I had such high hopes for when I finally left the school system.   How wrong I was.   I found so-called adults to be bigger children as far as sensibility went.   However, now I am the keeper of the keys to the kingdom of heaven.   Well, heaven on earth at least.   As an ageing, grumpy old man, I have the power to lose the attitude and become a better person in a metaphysical sense.   But do I really want to, I ask myself.   Is it just some kind of deranged dream?   Who knows?