Battling reality & my fantasy life

[missmuppet]

I've had a very active fantasy life since I was a young teenager. I have created a very comfortable & controlled environment. I've noticed very recently that I have this hole in my life that I'd like to have filled in reality but I measure most relationships against the main characters in my fantasy. So now realising I'm lonely. But why?

I have friends & people who care about me. I have this expectation of this dream girl. But I know she is not real. It has stopped me from being satisfied with my friends in reality. I'm.hoping this is making some kind of sense.

Anyone else know what I'm talking about?

[white knight]

Hi again Miss Muppet,

I'm not quite on your wave length but respect your fantasies.

I used to and still am highly emotional and with this has come my poetry both for myself and to special people that are recipients of my prose.  I used to look upon my sadness and emotion as a negative burden of rocks in my backpack. Then, after 10 years or so believing that and at the same time turning negatives into positives I did just that with my emotions.

I realised that my emotions were unique, they were me. And in the blink of an eye I embraced them just like artists embrace art and singers embrace song.

I believe your mind that is full of your fantasy town of personalities can be nurtured.

And thats about all I can say for you this time Miss Muppett. So glad you have stayed on here.

[missmuppet]

Thanks white night! Loving the new mobile site 🙂

Maladaptive daydreaming I've heard it called, what I do constantly. It helps me to cope with life for some reason. I know I'm not the only one but it is a very personal thing & I wouldn't share about it with just anyone. I'm here anonymously so...thought it would be fine.

Yeah we are all creative beings. I love poetry myself & write sometimes. I just wish that I could live more in reality. Join the 2 somehow.

I'm a gay Christian so I guess my fantasy life was created because it was a safe place to be myself & no one would know or judge me. I'm out now, to the important people in my life & they have been fine with it. But getting a partner will be a different story. Almost like coming out "for sure" to many people, especially my parents.

But now that I've accepted myself, I'm finding it hard to forget about my daydream girl & look for one in reality. I've met a few girls but wonder if my expectations are still too high, from my self controlled little world. Know what I mean? Not sure how to proceed...thanks for listening.

[white knight]

Hi miss muppet,

Tried dating sites?  I did, and my best friend (female) did. At the same time.  I was onto my first date, my friend onto her third.  We had known each other 25 years and I as best man at her wedding. She married my brother in law- I match made them.

Well when I found out she was on RSVP I looked at her site. mmm, always loved that girl. Invited her for home made soup in my newly built house. We married 12 months later and been married 4 years now.

Try the dating sites. It would be so much harder for gays than us straights )dont like the tag straight). Glad you came out. If your family need confirmation of who you are it must make it sad for you. Never mind, you are here to live up to others expectations.  🙂

[missmuppet]

Love your story. I have been on dating sites. But haven't had the best outcomes. Try try again & again. It's hard work & I struggle with ending my life every other day. So I kinda gave up. Many would probably say, well life is what u make it! So it seems I've done a pretty crap job. I'm really struggling today. Motivation lacking to do anything.

Might just go back to bed. Start the day again later.


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[white knight]

Dear Missmuppet,

Thankyou for replying to me.  What my story doesnt mention that is relevant to your past reply...is that many years before I dated and married my best friend was the sadness of 1996 and I was where you are now.

My marriage of 11 years ended. My full time fatherhood became part time, lost my dog, my neighbours, my then life, for a life in a 3 metre long caravan. Then I fought back.

"Life is what you make it"  I do believe it, and if it hasnt evolved to your satisfaction then dust yourself off and fight back- continue to strive to find it, because when you find it, you'll be so glad you did.

I recall looking in the mirror saying "you are a good man Tony, you deserve a good woman. You ex Tony is wrong on so many points. Have confidence"  It sunk in.

I feel for you miss Muppet. You are lost but you are not far from happiness. Just meeting the right one, expanding your possiblities of meeting that one person. I really do hope you keep going.

Someone told me once:  "If you havent watched a flower bloom form satrt to finish- you havent lived" and "If you havent watched a sunset set- you havent experienced one of the true beauties of life"  A sunset takes 2 hours to go from start to finish. So I climbed a hill once and watched a sun...set.  Emotion flowed. I was as one with nature and witnessed the most wonderful thing in life and it cost monetary wise- nothing. Google "Youtube Prem Rawat sunset" Prem Rawat is also known as "Marahaji".  He also has youtube called "the perfect instrument" which could also be of help.

You are amazing posting here, opening up your heart and likely helping others in your situation by them reading your thread.  All you have to do is like yourself and the world will be seen in your eyes- totally differently. 

Cyber Hug  Tony

[missmuppet]

Thank u I appreciate what you've said & will have a look at that YouTube thing. Like u I lost everything 5 yrs ago when I left a community & it's so complicated. I had to start again when I left & I knew I would lose all my friends. I've never married thank goodness. It would have been more difficult with children too.

I guess I am hanging in there & learning to appreciate the small beautiful things in life. I have made a few close friends & should be more involved with them. I've been a bit of a hermit for the past 5yrs. I felt I had good reason. But need more support now.

[EclecticMagpie]

G'day missmuppet, 

I totally understand where you are coming from and I too had the exact same issue. "How do I connect the two together?" I asked myself a few questions about my fantasy world.

1. What parts of my fantasy world are achievable in reality?

2. How can I make these part happen in real life

3. What parts just won be 'real' in the 'real world' example super powers etc and why not write them down instead after my day dream and make a journal of it?

So off I trotted, got myself a new notepad and started setting goals for myself on what was achievable. Then in another note pad wrote down the parts of my day dreams that were not achievable in 'real life'. Now I am studying a course on writing and my next course is proof reading and editing. I am going to continue with both notepads and turn the non-achievable parts of my day dreams into a book form - novel.

Anyways sorry to ramble on this is my very first post lol. I hope it has inspired you even just a little that anything is possible 🙂