Trying to find who I am

[Bakura]

To this day, i still cannot seem to accept who i am as a person. I am 29yrs old and I have never dated anyone. I thought it was because I put work first and that was why. I struggle to make close male friends because I start to become infatuated with them all the time. I am currently deeply in love with my best mate who is straight. I just love having someone who i can be around and spend time together. I dont think sex is something i am interested in. This is why i fall for straight guys. I know they don't want sex. I just want company but want to be able to have physical interactions with someone. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I am just lonely and want something more. It has gotten to the point where i have given someone alot of money because i just want to feel needed. Each night I just sit down and try to work out what I am doing and what my purpose in life is.

[PamelaR]

Hi Bakura and warm welcome to the BB forums

You've come to a safe place. We're non judgmental here and it's good when you can start to explore who you are. It is never easy unfortunately, but as time moves on and you become more aware of what you want, things will change. While you are 29, you are still young with a life time ahead of you. I understand how being in love with someone who may never return that love is difficult. Perhaps it's a place you like to be because it is safe?

Being who you really are, may be scary for you. Do you think that could be right?

While you wait for others in these forums to pop in to give you their support, have you tried other services to help you explore who you are and where you want to be, e.g. QLife 1800 184 527 3:00pm-10:30pm.

You're not alone Bakura.

Kind regards

PamelaR