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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Nwo Learning to become comfortable with myself
  • replies: 4

I am a guy who likes other guys. I wonder...how can I become comfortable with my sexuality? How can I become comfortable with who I like?

I am a guy who likes other guys. I wonder...how can I become comfortable with my sexuality? How can I become comfortable with who I like?

Listenup Confused and hurt by people's reactions
  • replies: 5

Hi, I've been in a lesbian relationship for nearly 20 years now. I am 17 years older than my partner and we have a 14 yo son from AI (assisted insemination) and I have four children from previous marriages. Increasingly I have noticed other people be... View more

Hi, I've been in a lesbian relationship for nearly 20 years now. I am 17 years older than my partner and we have a 14 yo son from AI (assisted insemination) and I have four children from previous marriages. Increasingly I have noticed other people being uncomfortable when meeting us or meeting us again particularly if they are parents of children around our son's age. For instance they will talk or look at my partner but not me, they will engage with my partner and not me. I particularly noticed it with my son's soccer parents this year and mainly the dads. I'm not sure how to manage it or what it's about. I'm a very friendly outgoing person and am easy to talk to, and after another incident that happened last night I wonder what it's about and how I could manage this. It leaves me feeling ignored, disrespected and hurt. I don't think my partner notices it or when I have said anything she just says oh they are like that with me too but they aren't. Anyway I was just hoping someone might be able to help me with how to manage these situations or how I might not be so hurt by feeling left out or not valued.

RubyShoes Lesbian, married and depressed
  • replies: 12

Hi, I have been married for 8 years but my husband and I have never had sex. I can’t, for physical reasons, but I also don’t want to because I love women and am not really attracted to men anymore. In fact, the longer I stay married, the less interes... View more

Hi, I have been married for 8 years but my husband and I have never had sex. I can’t, for physical reasons, but I also don’t want to because I love women and am not really attracted to men anymore. In fact, the longer I stay married, the less interested in males I become and I am almost physically repulsed by my husband, sorry to say, although I do love him. We are both Christian and so decided that we would wait until marriage before having sex. Well that was a mistake for me. Anyway, I have loved women since a very young age but thought that my love for my husband would be enough. It isn’t though as the lack of intimacy is slowly driving me around the bend. Recently I joined a lesbian dating site and have found a woman I really like. We clicked straight away and over a couple of months fell in love with each other. Last weekend, we finally met and spent the night together. I loved it. I love her and cannot get her out of my mind. The last three days I have felt utterly miserable because I don’t feel that I can leave my husband. It would absolutely destroy him. He is totally devoted to me. If I left, he would literally drink himself to death. That is no exaggeration. My unhappiness comes from feeling like I’m completely trapped. I could never bring myself to do something that would decimate my husband but I also don’t know if I could spend the rest of my life in an intimacy-free marriage. It’s killing me. I feel that I made a monumental mistake by getting married and that I’m doomed to a life of growing unhappiness. I’m not on here looking for answers of any sort; I just need to talk....

Guest1243 purposely isolating myself throughout life due to Gender dysphoria
  • replies: 2

I have isolated myself as much as possible throughout life because people and the world scare me. I have never been able to work people out, and don't like playing games. I have finally become myself after 54 years of terror and would like to try and... View more

I have isolated myself as much as possible throughout life because people and the world scare me. I have never been able to work people out, and don't like playing games. I have finally become myself after 54 years of terror and would like to try and make friends. I have worked and "socialized" to the degree i could. But i always have a wall up. I find that i put people off. I don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong.but desperatly need company. I am very passable and don't look my age( not that those things should matter) But they do to some people I'm am very interesting and very interested. Please....someone help...............I have only just started my life, and have to make the most of the years left BTW.....I have tryed trans groups, but do not relate, and also have no interest in all the things happening in the world aroud these topics. Neither i nor you will change peoples mind. all we can do is lead by example.

Gardevoir Gay Teen at an All Boys Catholic Private School
  • replies: 5

Hello everyone, im pretty new here just needed some help or advice kinda. So here i go. When i was in year 7 i new i was gay and i new that was bad, gay was obviously a common insult and got thrown around a lot so i stayed under the radar. This one k... View more

Hello everyone, im pretty new here just needed some help or advice kinda. So here i go. When i was in year 7 i new i was gay and i new that was bad, gay was obviously a common insult and got thrown around a lot so i stayed under the radar. This one kid in my class always talked about how disgusting gay people were and how they were all going to hell, in religion when we had to present a slideshow on "the power of love in the bible" he put a bunch of pictures of two men kissing with big red x's through them, obviously this didn't help my self esteem. Eventually i grew tired of this and one day i told a relatively close friend in class that I was Bi, I figured that being Bi wasn't as bad as being gay and i would be accepted more. Nope. It was pretty hard and I didn't help at all with my flaunty gay attitude, soon enough everyone was finding out about the Bisexual kid. Eventually i got sick of it and just started correcting them to "gay" because I didn't want to lie anymore. Now everyone knows me as the gay kid. I'm in year nine now and i'm still the gay kid, I do Debating, Public speaking, I play Piano, I do drama, I also play soccer and I play basketball, all of these things are activities that i enjoy, but i want advice on how to be less known as the gay kid and more of who i actually am.

Married_bi_guy Married guy
  • replies: 5

Hi I'm married to a beautiful lady. Before I was married I had a good amount of bisexual experiences. Now I'm starting to crave it again. I'm hooked on gay porn and always look at other guys. I've even downloaded gay apps. I don't know what to do View more

Hi I'm married to a beautiful lady. Before I was married I had a good amount of bisexual experiences. Now I'm starting to crave it again. I'm hooked on gay porn and always look at other guys. I've even downloaded gay apps. I don't know what to do

eeva235 My Husband Didn't Make Me Happy
  • replies: 2

My husband didn't make me happy, so we divorced. He didn't make me feel loved, appreciated or valued. I complained that he was always working late and when he wasn't working he was asleep. I complained that he didn't wash the dishes, he left his clot... View more

My husband didn't make me happy, so we divorced. He didn't make me feel loved, appreciated or valued. I complained that he was always working late and when he wasn't working he was asleep. I complained that he didn't wash the dishes, he left his clothes on the floor and he never made the bed. I thought my husband was the source of my unhappiness, and just maybe, if we got divorced, I could be happy again. Simply put, I blamed him for my unhappiness. So after two short years of marriage, we separated. Yes, we still loved each other. And no, nothing catastrophic happened. No infidelity, no gambling, and no abuse. It was simple: We just weren't happy. But what in the hell is happy and how did we lose it? Did we ever even have it? Given that we left our marriage for it, it must be pretty important. But honestly, I had no clue what happiness really was or how to get it. So I started on my own personal journey to happiness. So, please anybody help me or give me some suggestion.

Zi Don't know what to do anymore
  • replies: 3

Hello, I am trans non-binary 29 years old been out about it for the last 2 years of my life. I think it's fair to say I hate my life so much everything is just pain... So I'm am finding it very hard to be around my family. It's not like there not sup... View more

Hello, I am trans non-binary 29 years old been out about it for the last 2 years of my life. I think it's fair to say I hate my life so much everything is just pain... So I'm am finding it very hard to be around my family. It's not like there not supportive or anything it's just clear they don't understand me. I know should be happy that they accept and support me but I find myself stuck between identifies with them. It's at a point now where I can't help but feel so much pain and loneliness just by been around or thinking about them. So what does one do? How can I stop feeling like this or at the very least not to be alone anymore...

Paul Out of the closet?
  • replies: 8

Many of us find that coming out and sharing the hidden part of ourselves to be a major relief. Some of us find that sharing this part of ourselves is met with negative reaction or abuse. Coming out is sharing part of who you are. Whether it's gay, bi... View more

Many of us find that coming out and sharing the hidden part of ourselves to be a major relief. Some of us find that sharing this part of ourselves is met with negative reaction or abuse. Coming out is sharing part of who you are. Whether it's gay, bi, trans or any of the diverse sexualities or gender expressions. We share a fundamental part of who we are. Sexuality and gender are expressed in almost all of what we do as members of society, not just in the bedroom and in who we love. Below I raise some questions, feel free to answer them directly or just tell us more about your experiences. Have you come out and if not, are you thinking about it? What was the experience like, or what do you think the experience will be like? How do you feel within yourself now and if you're not out, can you imagine how you would feel if you came out? If you're out, what advice would you give to other GLBTIQ people? What would you like to say to straight people about coming out? Please feel free to tell us your coming out story and if it affects your depression/anxiety Paul

Rural_nsw Bisexual?
  • replies: 4

Been married for 8 years and the other day my wife found gay porn on my phone, I never gave it much though looking at gay porn, just did it without thinking about what I was thinking, now I did a silly thing and denied I was looking at it and fobbed ... View more

Been married for 8 years and the other day my wife found gay porn on my phone, I never gave it much though looking at gay porn, just did it without thinking about what I was thinking, now I did a silly thing and denied I was looking at it and fobbed it off as a virus on my phone (don't think she believes it though) we haven't spoken about it since but I've been thinking that I believe I'm bisexual or curious at least. I don't know I'm all over the shop at the moment