Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

tresure asexual?
  • replies: 2

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i... View more

hi, so i have been struggling with mental disorders for my entire life. I've always thought that there is deffenitly something wrong with me, turns out i have social anxiety disorder. First i started getting weird and anxious about sex at about 12, i was considered very pretty, and back then to me pretty girls were wanted by the guys and thats what happens that was the meaning i gave boyfriend and girlfriend, if she is pretty and the guy likes her then they are boyfriend and girlfriend. but i didn't like boys that way yet but lord knew i wanted to like them, i wanted nothing more to be like all the other girls developing crushes and wanting to kiss the boys blah blah. but because i got a lot of attention from guys i thought that thats what I had to do to keep the friends that i had and not become an outcast at school so i pretending that i likes boys and that "he was cute" "he's so hot" banter and pretended that i liked kissing. anyway i have been with many guys in my life time, and haven't enjoy not one, i can't feel pleasure. i want to, of course but i can't. again i couldn't tell anyone because of my fear or being different and i was afraid somethings wrong with me. i got strong anxiety when sex scene came on tv screens with friends, naked/procative women made me very uncomfortable i don't know why. i always wanted to have a boyfriend, when i was young me and my sister would play this game we made up called boyfriend and girlfriend, where we would pretend to have a boyfriend. so we had imaginary boyfriends.... anyway I'm 24 now and I'm still sexually active but hate it and still feel like there is something wrong with me and HELP....

Even_heroes_all Married confused and bisexual
  • replies: 2

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the wa... View more

I am a happily married man to the woman of my dreams, she is supportive but I am unsure. I have told my wife I think I am bisexual, she is very supportive and we have even had a threesome with another guy to see if it's my thing. I loved it by the way. It has been almost 12mths since our little experiment and we haven't done anything else like it since. She keeps making jokes about me being gay in front of her family and making me uncomfortable about it all as I am very private about it and she is the only one o have told ever but she goes on to the point I start hating myself for it and pull away from her, treat her differently and it starts to course agruements because of the way I feel. I have asked her to stop doing it over and over again with no change. I think about the threesome all the time and recently started really wanting a same sex encounter again. But how can I trust her to not belittle me about it when she says she is supportive and happy for me to do so. I dont want to feel trapped as I love my wife and are very attracted to her still and want my marriage to work and last forever. But how can I move forward without losing her or myself Thanks in advance

Guest_829 asexuality
  • replies: 8

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem wi... View more

Wondering if anyone out theres struggling with thoughts that they may be asexual, and would like to talk about any problems they are experiencing with it . I'm no expert and can only speak from personal experience, so if anyone is having a problem with their asexuality I'll be more than glad to help you, as best I can

N1 Sex girl on girl after getting drunk
  • replies: 6

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me ... View more

I was really drunk and ended up having sex with a girl who was also drunk. I told her in multiple ways that I was feeling really excited and want to leave the room.. But she was adamant that I should stay and she was behaving as if she was luring me in. She was saying things like she is feeling hot and would love to sleep with her clothes off. This was months back and then we never spoke to each other again. But she is now outing me saying I am a lesbian and stuff to other people around me....well...which I am not...and evwn thinking about that day makes me sick to my core....no offence to anyone...but I dont know how to get through this. I tried speaking to her, but she is behaving as if I gave her no choice.....or I am not even supposed to say her name and such.I dont know what to do...I dont want anyone listening to this story of shame.....I'd rather die.

Wildflower123 Bisexual or gay?
  • replies: 2

I’m 23 and until a few months ago had only been sexually attracted to guys. However, whenever I would sleep with a guy I liked I wouldn’t have any feelings or attraction to them afterwards and I always thought it was just because it wasn’t meant to b... View more

I’m 23 and until a few months ago had only been sexually attracted to guys. However, whenever I would sleep with a guy I liked I wouldn’t have any feelings or attraction to them afterwards and I always thought it was just because it wasn’t meant to be. A few months ago though I met a girl and really liked her. After we slept together my feelings for her grew and didn’t disappear like they have with guys. This girl was quite butch and I don’t find myself attracted to feminine girls at all, so is it okay or “normal” to have a specific “type”? Even though I know I have a type of guy I’m into it’s not as specific as the type of girl I’m into (like with a guy it’s iust like blonde hair and specific personality traits, etc.). Now Im extremely confused as to whether this is a sign that I’m gay or am bisexual and have a preference for one gender? I have always watched lesbian porn but I’ve been told by most of my straight girl friends that so do they. I still find guys attractive but the thought of sleeping with a guy doesn’t entice me as much as sleeping with a girl. And on tinder for instance I find myself saying no to nearly every girl and every guy which sucks. Im worried that if I lean more towards girls and my type is so specific I will never find anyone. And because I havent met anyone else since the girl I liked I’ve held onto her and cannot seem to move on and get over her and I think fear of never finding someone else is the reason. Im not concerned about my sexuality in the sense of being judged by family of friends as I was open about my relationship with this girl, I’m just extremely confused and have been finding it hard to like anyone. Thank you for your help in advance!

Cyber I'm transgender
  • replies: 1

My name is Graham. I'm 32 years old, for twenty-eight years I know something was wrong with me. At age 4 old she came to me in my dreams (Nightmares) tell me that I didn't have to live a lie. I thought it was an illusion or something worst. So I drow... View more

My name is Graham. I'm 32 years old, for twenty-eight years I know something was wrong with me. At age 4 old she came to me in my dreams (Nightmares) tell me that I didn't have to live a lie. I thought it was an illusion or something worst. So I drowned it with alcohol, drugs & cigarettes. My heart is filled with darkness, my brain cloud chaos and destructive thoughts. I have been playing as female character on video games since I was 12 years old. I hate being male, it's makes me sick to my core. I want to be a female that I forgot it feel to human. I never go out with another one at long as inside pitiful male body so I got single forever than I prefer to die than live out reason of my life pig headed male. I thought tell my story so other tell there. I hate being called by real name & my parents keep on calling me Graham, even use my first & middle name so I started to use f word everytime they call me by my real name. I prefer Cyber it's abridged name for me.

HappyGirlTea What Should I Do Now?
  • replies: 4

Hi again, I don’t know if anyone will remember but I posted for the first time a few months ago. Since then I have finished my Year 12 exams and my results came out last Friday. I mentioned somewhere in the last thread that after I was finished all o... View more

Hi again, I don’t know if anyone will remember but I posted for the first time a few months ago. Since then I have finished my Year 12 exams and my results came out last Friday. I mentioned somewhere in the last thread that after I was finished all of that I hoped to find some support regarding my sexuality in real life. I emailed a support group in my area a few weeks ago but unfortunately it no longer runs. I was told this through an email sent to me by someone who runs another group in my area. However it is a theatre group which isn’t my sort of thing. The email did say I could just work backstage or watch but I’m not sure. I already feel so uncomfortable and don’t know if I would feel comfortable with that either. I don’t even know if I will be able to get to a group without my parents knowing. Or if I will feel comfortable enough to go there. Other than a support group I don’t really know how to find support in real life so I’m a bit stuck. I know when I go to University next year I will hopefully have a way to meet people there but that terrifies me and I don’t think it will be that easy anyway. I also don’t want to have to wait that long to find people as University starts in March. I just don’t know why it has to be so hard for me to feel okay with myself. I don’t want to have to wait to eventually feel okay. Hopefully someone can tell me what to do. Thanks.

Guest_4810 Autism - Aspergers and Gay
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I am starting this tread for Autistic people of all ages, male and female who are gay. Feel free to share you experiences here. This is a safe place.

Hi all, I am starting this tread for Autistic people of all ages, male and female who are gay. Feel free to share you experiences here. This is a safe place.

helpmeplease01 Demisexual?
  • replies: 3

Ok so recently I've been questioning my sexuality. I've done a bit of research online and I've been looking at all these terms under asexuality. One term I feel that may relate to me is the heteroromantic demisexual. I'm a girl and I know I am romant... View more

Ok so recently I've been questioning my sexuality. I've done a bit of research online and I've been looking at all these terms under asexuality. One term I feel that may relate to me is the heteroromantic demisexual. I'm a girl and I know I am romantically interested in guys. Im 19 and I recently dated this guy Sean. I found him physically attractive at first and we dated for a few months. I liked that we were going quite slow, it gave me the chance to get to know him a bit better. There was an emotional and romantic connection and only after that, I started feeling sexually attracted to him. Although I felt some sexual attraction, I still didn't feel like I wanted to have sexual contact with him. Has this got something to do with my sexuality maybe? Am I just not ready for a sexual relationship? ( even if I am 19 years old). I would have assumed by 19, I would be mature enough for this. Although, we never actually got close to having sex over the 3 months that we dated, at the time though, I was worried what would happen if we were going to have sexual contact. Like, would I enjoy it because I had an emotional connection with this guy? Either that or as soon as I saw his body, I would feel repulsed (like I did with my last boyfriend). Sean and I didn't end up working out though so I never found out. I've noticed that my friends are quite sexually active. They very often joke about sex/ porn and talk about their own sexual experiences, in which this makes me feel rather uncomfortable. I cant see myself having a one night stand or even the thought of seeing male strippers makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I'm demisexual and need to feel an emotional connection to feel sexual attraction? Or maybe I might never find the naked male body attractive ever no matter what the emotional/ romantic connection is like? I also read somewhere that demisexuals don't usually experience physical attraction towards others ( or at least not at first until they get to know someone). But that didn't sound like me. I can still find guys cute or attractive or hot once I look at them, but they also have a good emotional connection with myself for me to pursue things any further. So any thoughts guys? Would you guys say that I'm demisexual?

halfmarco8 16, Gay and Lonely
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I'm a 16 Yr old almost 17 who identifies as Gay, and well i guess more recently i have been feeling like there is no one else out there for me. This all began with little things like my friends finding people and beginning relationships and i... View more

Hi all, I'm a 16 Yr old almost 17 who identifies as Gay, and well i guess more recently i have been feeling like there is no one else out there for me. This all began with little things like my friends finding people and beginning relationships and i guess since then I've begun to feel lonely. it's gotten to the point that i wont leave the house unless for school or work as if i leave the house for any other reason i get bad anxiety. Im openly Gay at my school but feel as if there is no hope. Im still keeping a Positive outlook though, hopefully things will get better. Thanks For Reading.