New to dating trans MTF

Queerqueen
Community Member

So I dated someone who was male. After a while he transitioned to she. I'm so happy for her and am supportive but now I'm needing some advice as to dating a mtf bi woman. I've always identified as cis female and pan/queer so it's quite natural for me to be attracted to her. I'm worried however she might not be sure of her sexuality as she is still new to HRT.

So I guess my main question is how to tell if she is still interested in me or am I just a safe choice as we've dated under different genders?

2 Replies 2

Flowertop
Community Member

Hi QueerQueen

It sounds like your attraction to your partner has not changed a bit and it is so great for them that you have been supportive as I imagine making the transition would take a lot of courage.
Who knows what direction any relationship takes. I think it is good that you believe your partner may think your a safe choice because I imagine feeling safe would be important for anyone let alone someone who has transitions gender.
Maybe you could ask her if she is still attracted to you sexually or if there have been any changes and explain your concerns. After all it is not only her who has undergone change as you have both had to adapt within the relationship.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Queerqueen~

It's a valid question and I guess you could be a "safe choice" while your partner gets used to a new role, however relationships for most people go deeper than sex, if it was me I'd be noticing if kindness, understanding and pleasure simply being with you were all present.

I think Flowertop is spot on in that you could talk over the whole matter frankly -in a relaxed and comforting manner - with your partner and see how you go. You may find what while the relationship is in fact secure there are other practical matters that are worrying your partner which can be resolved.

Either way I think it is worth reaching out -what do you think?

Croix