I'm a lesbian and I have a crush on a guy...

[3Crybaby3]

I'm sexually attracted to girls and not guys but I frequently develop crushes on guys. Does this make me bisexual or is this normal? Has anybody else experienced this?

[Alexlisa]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums ☺️

I’m a lesbian, but haven’t experienced what you have. But I know it’s not uncommon at all. My ex probably wouldn’t have considered herself bi, but she was attracted to some guys.

Either way, I’m not really sure that it matters what label you use. I understand sometimes though that it can be comforting to find the ‘right’ label so that we feel like we know ourselves better. Or feel more in control of the situation. I get that. I can’t say for sure what I’d feel like in your position, but as I’ve gotten older (late 30s) and am more sure of who I am as a whole person, it bothers me much less than when I was younger what my label is. To be honest, I think about it so rarely these days that sometimes I catch myself thinking... “oh yeah, that’s right I’m gay”. I forget it’s an unusual thing.

I was wondering, do you get a feeling of why it might be bothering you that you might be bi?

I’ll keep an eye on this thread if you want to come back ☺️

Alexlisa

[45987]

I think it sounds like you're bisexual... Being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean a 50/50 attractive to mens/women. I'm straight myself but had a bisexual friend who was attracted to both males and females but only liked women in a romantic/relationship kind of way.

These might be worth a read:

https://www.pride.com/bisexual/2016/1/28/5050-myth-6-reasons-why-we-need-stop-assigning-percentages-bisexuality

https://www.pride.com/identities/2018/2/27/my-bisexuality-isnt-5050-split

Hope you can figure things out

[Ruby__2]

Hey Alexlisa,

Loved your response!Why do we need to label?I am married to a recently disclosed gay/bi man.34yrs.Fully support his decision to disclose

[Ruby__2]

Sorry,clicked post by mistake lol.

Just wanted to say that if it's truly love you will work it out.Don't worry about the norm xx

[solsticepcny]

Yes, I have experienced this before but only once.

My whole life I was attracted to females even as a kid but since I was confused I just considered myself as bisexual. Growing up as a teen, now an adult I'm proud to identify as a lesbian. But I met this guy one day who I instantly felt a connection with and I was a bit confused about it at the time, however as we continued to talk I strangely started to develop feelings for him. I was a bit shocked by it and of course, it made me question my sexuality a lot. We are currently together as a couple and while giving it a lot of thinking since the time I developed feelings for this guy, I realised that it wasn't the same kind of attraction that I got from females. I still identify as a lesbian to this day while having a boyfriend but I realised that the reason I fell for him in the first place was that I loved him as the person he is, his gender or anything like that doesn't affect it.

After all, you could be bisexual but this can go into thought.