Hi Kokemanjoki9,
Have you seen a psychologist before? It might be worth considering.
The way you describe yourself is super negative and in the dating world leading with those characteristics would easily scare most people off. That may not necessarily be the way you present yourself but having those underlying belief system about yourself might show through at times unintentionally. I think it would be beneficial for you to find some hobbies/passions and friends that are a positive influence for you. Maybe it could lead to meeting someone special as a bonus, don't go into it with that goal alone though, it's important to have other things in your life even when you aren't single.
I don't think it's fair to say being single is the root cause of your problems. Being partnered up is not going to save you from anything. Your happiness is your responsibility. A partner is the icing on top of the cake, I would suggest spending some time working on the cake (i.e. yourself). I don't blame you for having that pattern of thought though, our culture certainly tries to convince us that finding a partner is life's mission, then marriage, then babies - nonsense I say. There are happy single people, there are miserable married couples. It's how individuals perceive and live their lives.
To address your specific statements:
* Being lied to - there are people doing crappy things all over the place, that's not a you problem, that's a them problem. Try not to take it to heart, I know it's easier said than done.
* Not answering messages - this one takes a bit of empathy and understanding that you don't know what their situation currently is. I'm not sure of your gender, but in my experience as a female all I have to do is log on to a dating app and -bam- messages from 5 different random people. I do not have the time to respond to all of them, as much as I would like give every person the time of day it would suck an unnecessary amount of energy from me. This is especially true for people who come on with a "hey" or "tell me about yourself", are you kidding me? Read my profile, don't make this more work than it has to be. Have you looked into pickup methods? There's information in the art of pickup world can be good and some that can be pretty toxic, so stay skeptical when looking into it and make sure the methods you use are comfortable and caring for the people you interact with.
All the best xo
