Straight in what feels like the worst way possible.

[Unholy_Idiot]

So I’m a cisgender male in my mid 20s and have considered myself straight basically my whole life, the issue stems from the fact that I’m able to have respectful friendships with women and can’t stand most men.

Now in all technicality, I’ve got guy friends that I get along with but the number seems to be outweighed by women. And what I’m struggling with is the fact that the media pushes such a negative portrayal of my demographic, plus the fact that most influential men in my life have had similar experiences to what I’m going through, that I can’t help but feel like I’m either using women OR I’m a gay woman in a man’s body.

what makes most sense to me is that I’m emotionally mature enough to be able to respect everyone’s boundaries no matter what. But being single and wanting to feel my age for once, doing things that someone my age would “typically” do just doesn’t sit right with me.

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I can understand that there are a lot of social pressures to be certain way. We don't have to be like that. We can choose the way we are and work on that. Of course, we need to do certain things to earn money but there are a lot of options out there now that we can try and see whether it fits.

Sometime all we can do is to keep going, keep trying and see how it goes

[Unholy_Idiot]

I guess my point is more so that I’m in a point of my life where it’s “socially acceptable” for me to go around and have one night stands or meaningless flings with little to no judgement and I’m almost completely disinterested in sex. Like I enjoy it, sure. But otherwise I genuinely haven’t ever cared about getting laid because I’m comfortable being alone? If that makes sense.

im fine with dating but I date for proper relationships, not just to have a fling.

and that’s where I’m not sure if I might be somewhere in the rainbow or just a little weird. Because either way I look at it, I honestly couldn’t care. It’s all just a label at the end of the day and I’m fine with being unmarked goods.

[Sportcustard]

Just checking before I respond - are you looking for advice or general discussion? Or whichever?

[Unholy_Idiot]

A bit of both I guess. Mostly just general discussion but I’m open for any suggestions or advice.

Im just kinda confused about where I fit yknow? Tryna figure it out but have so little life experience that I’m kinda questioning everything.

[Unholy_Idiot]

Aight so I know what this post started as but after sitting on it for a little while, I think queer fits a bit better for me. I’m not gay. I definitely don’t want a “proper” sexual relationship with another man, however I’m not opposed to messing around. But I also know that I prefer sex with women, with willingness to just mess around with guys. I think that means queer fits best, not quite bi but I’m also definitely not 100% straight OR gay. I guess I’m just kinda figuring it all out but when I told two of my mates this I actually felt my brain relax. Like I knew they weren’t gonna treat me any different and that it wasn’t gonna be a big deal either.

i know at the end of the day it’s basically my decision which label fits best if any, so yeah. Still happy to converse and hear any advice there may be.

[Sportcustard]

If you find using a label helps understand yourself and express yourself to others (IF!), 'heteroflexible' might be another one for you. But queer works nicely too as a catch-all. 

[Sportcustard]

Yeah, makes sense. You're allowed to figure stuff out on your own time. There's no shame in experimenting or being unsure, plenty of people figure themselves out that way. That's part of the life experience thing too.