LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[Lonelydan]

I want to talk about homophobia and it's affect on the LGBT population. I was called a poofter, fag and much worse since I can remember at home and at school. Every time this happens a tiny little piece of me dies that I will never get back. Now at 44 I'm like Swiss cheese, I attend an anxiety group once a week with people aged 18-70 the topic of gay marriage was raised and I was absolutely shocked at what I heard , every one was sickened by the idea. I just sat there and listened to every evil word that poured out of there putrid rotten mouths. I waited for them all to finish, then I announced that I was the biggest homosexual on this earth and individually went around the room holding the mirror up to each and every sad sack there. They didn't like it and now because I didn't suffer oppression I've been asked not to attend I told her and her church were to go. It's Adam and Eve everyone not Adam and Steve. Dan...

[MsPurple]

HI Dan. Good topic to talk about, however I am still saddened people still use our sexuality in hurtful, hateful way that isolates us. I hated it when my old church said "It's Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve". The reason for adam and eve is for procreation, however I don't believe God hates any of his children, whether they are gay, straight, trans, intersex or other identifying. I also think it is a silly argument to use for homophobia.

I feel saddened looking back. The church used to make me feel like same sex relationships were evil. I never thought the person was evil but I did worry they would go to hell. I don't think I ever judged anyone for being gay but I told my parents I thought relationships should be between a man and woman. I was 12. I then got more educated in sexuality (I didn't have any interest in relationships at that age) and I couldn't understand why something like love could be evil or sinful. I still worry about going to hell if I ever did marry someone of the same gender. But I know God is love and surely he wouldn't send someone to hell for showing love to someone else. I don't understand why some Christians (I know many Christians that are for equal marriage and don't believe being gay is a sin) think it is ok to send hate to someone for them being who they are. How is it a Christian thing to call someone a poof? It is hurtful and shows hate.

Sorry kinda got off topic. I don't understand why people are so against same sex marriage a.k.a equal marriage. It should affect their faith for us to be married. Every religion gets married. How come other religions are ok with other religions also calling it marriage, yet a same sex couple can't call it a marriage? It just baffles me. If you are don't agree on same sex marriage then done marry someone the same sex. It's hard. I know it's a tradition, but traditions do change over time, this is a normal progression. It's hard because I just don't understand why someone is so against love of all types.

I'm sorry Dan people call you those horrible words full of hate. There is no excuse for it other than people fear the unknown. They need to be educated on the hurtfulness of calling others hurtful words. They should image we call them 'fatty, hippo, ugly' because that is what they are doing to you. I'm not saying you should call them that but maybe if they understood the perspective.

Does anyone else have anything they can add. I feel like I struggled to stay on topic

[MsPurple]

Sorry I thought I should add when I said "the church used to make me feel" I meant the church I went to used to make me feel that way. I do know not all Christian (or other religious) churches make people feel this way. I know some churches accept all.

[Raynor]

Thanks for starting this thread MP. Like I said in the other place this whole thing is already so bad and has gone on for so long, and it will be months more. I think we need to look after each other.

Danny, that makes me so angry... on so many levels and for so many reasons. More than anything, if groups are providing MH services like anxiety groups then they can't act like that - morally, ethically, and also legally. If they can't provide safe services then they need to get the f- out of the way.

I really liked the way you spoke truth to them though. I hope I would be that courageous in the same place - not sure. How are you holding up now?

[MarkJT]

MsPurple, great thread. I think it is important for me to pop in here and give my thoughts as I am not a member of the LGBT+ community.

I have many gay and lesbian friends and when i was diagnosed with PTSD they all put a protective bubble around me. I did not see them as being gay or lesbian, I saw then as compassionate, caring, empathetic, sympathetic and genuinely nice people.

Your community has my full support and I stand with you, side by side as a human being.

Dan: disgusting behavior, nothing short of it. Think of it this way mate, those people do not deserve to be around you, the do not deserve your friendship and they are missing out on the chance to learn from you. Their loss mate, not yours.

I just cannot wait until the day that I go to one of my mates weddings. Going to be so cool.

Mark.

[MsPurple]

Hi Mark. Thanks for being an ally to the community and showing you love and support to us all. This forum is mainly aimed at LGBT+ members but is open to anyone who wants to show support. I hope you'll be able to attend your friends wedding sooner rather than later.

Raynor you are completely right, an anxiety support group should be showing support to LGBT+ community. Anyone with anxiety should be able to understand how hard it is to be isolated and feel rejected.

I think the whole equal marriage on a non-compulsory non-law binding vote is almost cruel. I feel like those passionate on both spectrum will vote and no one else. I just think it is a waste of money and waste of time. There is also no legislation monitoring adds which can be so detrimental, especially for those struggling with their sexual/gender identity. Anyways I have enrolled to vote and I am saying yes to equal marrige

[Raynor]

yeah same MP. I think it's offensive to say some group can only be equal with others if the majority agrees to let it be. Some things are for voting on and some are not.

But yeah, I'll vote... because the worst thing of all would be if it doesn't carry.

[Raynor]

And thanks also Mark! 🙂

[Just Sara]

Last night I watched a show on TV about wedding gowns. There was a trans woman trying on dresses who epitomised the term 'feminine beauty'. Not just her looks, but oozing from her soul.

Her fiancé was a trans man; their love for one another came thru the screen in abundance as he kneeled to propose to her. I teared up because as a person who wants to find a life partner to love and be loved by, their union represented hope.

Religion, haters, homophobes and politics don't corner the market on wanting a kind face to wake up to each morning, companionship, common interest, conflict resolution, facing hardship together, common law rights or financial sharing.

Adam and Eve represents the 'story' of Original Sin...sex! (Sorry MsP, it wasn't about procreation) Steve and Raelene weren't there because if they had been, that story would've taken a few interesting twists and turns indeedy! Just sayin'...

Sez xo