Help me I’m so stuck . Married closeted bisexual

[Confusedbihubby]

 Hi all, I’m a married bisexual man . Iv been married 17 years a love my wife more than anything . We have a great sex life amd I find my wife incredibly sexy . We have discussed myself possibly being bi in the past and have even discussed bringing a man into our sex life to experiment. Now I’ve known as long as I can remember that I’m bisexual . I’ve been with men before but only ever quick meets with random guys . I crave being intimate with a man and really embracing my bisexual side . I’d love most of all to do it with my wife but don’t feel I could really let go if she was present through fear of judgement or turning her off me . As far as she knows I question my sexuality where in all honesty I know I’m sexually attracted to men . I don’t want to lose my wife but also want to be true to myself . Any advice would be great as I guess I want to have my cake but eat it too without ruining my marriage. We also have 4 kids ranging from 26 to 7  

[AD80]

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Millions of men are bi and attracted to both genders. I think it’s perfectly normal and natural and not everything makes sense. If your wife can’t understand that then that’s her problem. But if she wants a monotonous relationship and that’s what you want too then you have to resist your urges? Or if she wants a monogamous relationship and you don’t then you can break up but that could be bad for the kids? A lot of straight men want to have sex with other women but resist. If you choose to have secret sex with men be considerate of the gay guys. We aren’t just sex toys, a lot of us are lonely and even though we enjoy sex it’s unfair when attractive straight/married men only want to use us for sex when it suits you all on your terms. It’s hard being in such a small segment of the population. It’s complicated hey. That’s my 2 cents anyway. People would have many different views and nobody is strictly right. Sexuality and relationships can be hard and it’s grey, there is no black and white. Be gentle on yourself whatever you decide to do but be considerate of others too. 

[rock_me_hardplc]

I came to this forum to write something similar and realised your post is just like my situation. I have recently celebrated 15 years of marriage, together 17. We have 3 kids 21-14. I have only ever had one experience with a guy which confirmed what I already knew but didn't want to admit. I certainly was not prepared for how my thoughts would change though, its like an urgency now. I find myself angry, depressed and stressed, It is absolutely taking its toll on my marriage. I love my wife and I hate what I am doing to her, we have a lot of serious complications in our life and I am only adding to them. I have spoken to her a few times about this over the last 3 years but the conversations alway end poorly and the topic gets swept under the rug. Ignorance is bliss until its not.

I truly hope you find what you are looking for and/or find a way to make things work.