Letters to Matthew

[Gruffudd]

Risking oversharing, but it is the time of year when I write to Matthew Shepard.

Matt and I are the same age, live out west far away from any big city, and have had to deal with a fair bit of harassment over the years. Matt has taught me that I can overcome it by finding joy in being what/who I am and in celebrating others as they are. 

I never sent any of the letters, and it makes me cry to think that I only know of him because of what happened. I think I write because I want him to know that he is not alone out there.

Back in 1998 there was no internet where I lived, the phone line was shared with the neighbours, no point having a mobile because you had to travel into town to use it, and the only way to meet other gay and lesbian people was to risk going out to a run down pub on the last Wednesday of the month where in the main bar there were cowboys and in the ladies lounge us queers. The only thing we had in common was the Congo line when Tina Turner belted out the nutbush. It was fine until closing time and then just a bit scary in the car park or the long walk home. 

I've been reading through some of those old letters. I would love to tell the kid writing them that it will be OK and some of great things that were to happen, and of course to not let Sebastian go. 

So I'm wondering about something. Matt is one of the queer milestones of my life. What or who has been a milestone for you?

[Paul]

Big Hugs Gruffudd.

My (step) Dad (referred to from now on as Dad) is a milestone for me in more ways than in my coming out and living as a gay man.

In terms of queer milestones, when he was told I'm gay he said "Yeah I know, but how was your day" to my mum.

Then when he got home he gave me a big hug and said I've always known, I love you the same and you are to feel at home when you bring a boyfriend home - the same way your brother would if he brought a girlfriend home.

This is my step father who took me under his wing at 5 years old and treated my brother and I as if we were his own.

Paul

[justinok]

Hey gruffudd, have you heard the Elton John song that he did about Matthew Shepherd? It's called American Triangle. I can't think too much about his story, I find it too upsetting.

Queer milestones for me would have to be Pet Shop Boys and when Neil Tennant came out, as it was around about the same time that I realised I was gay too.