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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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justinok HIV dentist panic
  • replies: 4

OK, so with so much ignorance out there already, and being an HIV poz guy, the story this week about the dentist in Victoria really got to me. Don't know how many people heard it but itwas all over the news. The healthcare authorities went nuts and s... View more

OK, so with so much ignorance out there already, and being an HIV poz guy, the story this week about the dentist in Victoria really got to me. Don't know how many people heard it but itwas all over the news. The healthcare authorities went nuts and sent hundreds of people for tests because they had been "in contact" with a dentist who was poz. They had interviews on the news with all these worried people in the street, and it made my blood boil. Unless the guy (or girl) was having sexual contact with the patients or injecting blood directly into your veins, there is no way any of these people would have been at risk. People like me still have to keep their status a secret because ignorant people think they can catch it off me by sharing a cup or having me touch them, and to have something like this happen where a health authority is helping spread the ignornace, is really upsetting. As if we don't feel enough like lepers already.

jim i cant get out of this hole
  • replies: 5

hey everyone, wow where to begin so i am a 33 y/o gay male who has deppression and anxiey i've been reading some peoples problems and i think wow i dont even come close to theres but yet i cant seem to snap out of it i wake up everyday and it just se... View more

hey everyone, wow where to begin so i am a 33 y/o gay male who has deppression and anxiey i've been reading some peoples problems and i think wow i dont even come close to theres but yet i cant seem to snap out of it i wake up everyday and it just seems to get worse i am on daily meds witch im sure is making me feel worse but my doctor says give them time its been 5 months surely some change would be going on. i should be happpy i have every thing i could ask for a boyfriend who loves me a roof over my head food in my belly no job tho but i look every day with no luck, this feeling of overwelmeing just keeps growing its getting to the point where im feeling like offing myself just to stop feeling this way and i have no idea why im feeling this way i know that my problems are minute copaired to some but i just needed to talk to people who have the same issues as i have no friends because of some issues ive had in the past they have all just up and left me witch im sure is my fault hopefuly somone out there understands and can just have a chat with me beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Zoe__lt_3 Terrified of coming out
  • replies: 14

Hi BB Forumites, I’ve reached a point in my life where I cannot deny my true self much longer. I’ve lived in complete denial for ages, which has fed my depression and self-loathing like a sheep to a starving lion. I’m coming to terms with the fact th... View more

Hi BB Forumites, I’ve reached a point in my life where I cannot deny my true self much longer. I’ve lived in complete denial for ages, which has fed my depression and self-loathing like a sheep to a starving lion. I’m coming to terms with the fact that my life has been one big falsehood. And it’s nearly destroyed me several times. I now acknowledge my true inner self and accept that by living the life my friends and family expected, I have wasted much of my life living like I’m actually in someone else’s body, not my own. To have reached this point of acceptance in my mind before even seeing my shrink (first ‘date’ on the 29/8) is a big step in my process of ‘getting to know me’ and perhaps one day healing the deep, dark pain in my soul. I am no longer the person I was last month, last year, or the last decade. I am a lesbian. There, I said it – whew- Now how the hell do I ever muster up the courage to tell my partner? I am terrified of the hurt, shame, embarrassment. Will I be treated like a freak? Will my kids understand and still love me? Will I be able to face my workmates? This seems like such a selfish thing to do – ruin a family because I am no longer who I pretended to be. I long to be openly part of the LGBTI community, but inside I’m crawling with fear, guilt and shame for what it may do to my family! Guilt and shame are so powerful and they are the main reasons I’ve been in denial for so long. Guilt, shame and fear are the emotions that have caused me to self-destruct on so many occasions. I have a long history of self-sabotage and I lay the blame squarely at the feet of my guilt, shame and fear. If I do nothing, and continue living with family for the sake of the kids, I’m very worried about my mental health, but at least the guilt and shame will take a back seat. If I do speak up and come out, I risk losing everything/ everyone I’ve loved. I don’t know what to do! I can’t sleep, I’m so stressed. I’m drinking too much and I’ve even thought of doubling my AD’s so that I’m a zombie and don’t have to think about it anymore. I throw myself on the mercy and guidance of the Forum… Zoe x

RekoSanctum13 Mind Blown Confusion????
  • replies: 2

Okay...... This is the first time I have ever done something like this or let alone talked about this other than to my councillor....... I wanted your guys opinion. I am recently going out with a guy and I love him a lot but I am bi. I have gone out ... View more

Okay...... This is the first time I have ever done something like this or let alone talked about this other than to my councillor....... I wanted your guys opinion. I am recently going out with a guy and I love him a lot but I am bi. I have gone out with a girl for almost a month last year and I absolutely loved her to bits. she made me feel special. and so does my boyfriend now. I like both genders but I am kinda in a bit of a tight spot....... I like to dress as a guy and my boyfriend doesn't know about it....... Even though, he said he wants to be a cross dresser (I believe he is joking) But the strange thing is........ When I dress like a guy and I look at a hot guy I don't look at them in a girls perspective but more of a guys perspective like I've got a gay guy trapped inside of me. I have sometimes thought even when I wasn't in guys clothing that when I see a guy sometimes that "Hey, I want to date that guy but with my male side." I don't want to have a sex change because I like being a girl but my guy side is a bit of a bother...... I like both sides to me but I'm confused....... Is what I feel when I dress as a guy normal?!?!? What do I call this? Do I tell my boyfriend about this?!?! I'm confused........ help.......?

jo85 partner with anxiety/depression
  • replies: 5

Hi new friends! I'm aware that this isn't technically the space for support people but to be honest I feel more comfortable communicating in the queer community because there are some differences between us and the straighties. My girlfriend is not g... View more

Hi new friends! I'm aware that this isn't technically the space for support people but to be honest I feel more comfortable communicating in the queer community because there are some differences between us and the straighties. My girlfriend is not going so well at the moment, and I am trying to be supportive but also struggling with that. I won't go into details, but I think what I'm struggling with the most is a feeling of responsibility for her and her happiness. I wonder if any of you have got any gold tips for me? Thank youuuu.

pirana69 the love of my life is gone
  • replies: 11

I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years due to his bipolar depression. Its heavy in my heart because there is so much love, respect and intimacy in our relationship. He was a kind man with a golden heart. However due to his depression he wasn't abl... View more

I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years due to his bipolar depression. Its heavy in my heart because there is so much love, respect and intimacy in our relationship. He was a kind man with a golden heart. However due to his depression he wasn't able to cope with the relationship challenges that every couple goes through on a day to day basis. Im gutted that he has given up. However i know he didn't intend of any of this to happen. My ex-partner had issues in expressing his anger, communicating and confronting. I was the total opposite of this. I believe that opposites do attract and no excuses of not being together. Sadly i have tried to communicate with him in a calm and understanding approach every time a disagreement happens but he would shut down completely and would result to breaking up. In the past 2 years he had challenged me into breaking up but i knew he wasn't thinking properly and after a few days he would realise he didn't mean too. Because i loved him and understood the illness i gave him chances. After all this we seeked help and see a psychologist, he did go for a few session but just gave up. because it wasnt working for him. I tried to convince him it takes time to find the right therapist. He inherited the depression from his dad's side and as i know all of the family member suffers from depression. Our trip overseas was cancelled and it saddens me that we no longer live together. The break up was mutual and we both understand why we can't be together. I'm devastated that the love of my life is not with me, I know i tried very hard with communicating and seeking help for him but at the end of the day i realised i couldn't fix him. I miss him very much and wish he didn't have depression. I'm so lonely and not sure how i can get over this. I know i have done the right thing. But this sadness in me would hopefully fade away. Its only been a month, i know in time i would be ok. Its very hard as i am missing him very much and the love remains. He need to help himself in order to fix himself. Im not sure if he will do as he gotten used to growing up and just ignoring the pain. I would like to hear your story if you have experience what happen to me. It would give me hope to help me go through this unpleasantness.

hailsbells Feeling like I've lost myself
  • replies: 6

Hi all, first time on the site so please bear with me. January of last year my relationship ended with someone who I thought may have been the person I would spend the rest of my life with. It was not a pleasant break up nor was it simple in any way.... View more

Hi all, first time on the site so please bear with me. January of last year my relationship ended with someone who I thought may have been the person I would spend the rest of my life with. It was not a pleasant break up nor was it simple in any way. I didn't think I would meet anyone again, nor want to, but in March of this year I did. She has her faults, like everyone, but for the most part she is amazing and treats me better than I've ever been treated. In the beginning I tried my hardest to be the person that I used to be, loving, caring, romantic and considerate. I realise now that it wasn't the right thing to do because I can't seem to sustain it. I feel drained and exhausted by it. I do love her but I can't seem to 'love' like I once did. I used to be able to do all of that, but now the most I can muster is a few nights here and there where I can hug and kiss and show that affection that she needs. And it isn't isolated to just her, any display of affection to anyone has to be forced. I don't know what to do, we've had many arguments over this already and she just thinks that I don't love her which is completely understandable. We had another argument last night about it and I think she's fed up with it this time which I really can't blame her for. Am I just so beaten and broken that this is who I am now? If anyone has experienced this before or has any advice at all, it would be greatly appreciated as I'm at a loss. Thanks

Mim Parent supporting child
  • replies: 3

Hi, my daughter is currently coming to terms with her gender and the possibility that she is transgender or lesbian. She is very depressed and is receiving treatment from many health professionals to help her feel good about herself. She is a wonderf... View more

Hi, my daughter is currently coming to terms with her gender and the possibility that she is transgender or lesbian. She is very depressed and is receiving treatment from many health professionals to help her feel good about herself. She is a wonderful person. She is only 17. Any tips from people whose parents got things right when supporting them as they navigated through this process would be appreciated. I want to see her smiling again. Thanks

zatromitos ...Here I go again
  • replies: 6

Hi people. I just finished registering. I have so much to say its silly really. Let me start by saying. I feel alone. I have no job. I am 25. And all the crao in my life is starting to get a bit heavy. I have a wife in america but she has been acting... View more

Hi people. I just finished registering. I have so much to say its silly really. Let me start by saying. I feel alone. I have no job. I am 25. And all the crao in my life is starting to get a bit heavy. I have a wife in america but she has been acting....off... Andi have abandonment issues on top of that. I have a family but I don't trust them they have hurt me enough in the past. I don't trust anymore. Been broken too much. My ex, who I still love as a friend is sick and I am worried. She is quiet. I have no friends, except for my ex who isn't talking to me. And a Muslim man that has been a good friend but.... Yha. I have been getting quietlately. I have shut out people in my life. I don't want to be lonely. But every time I trusted, I got a kick in the face. Jobless... Economy or me? I am smart. Handy. Funny. But yes. No job. I am looking. I'm getting tired. I knoiw this is going to sound wrong.But i wish there would come a woman into my life who has a ton of love to offer me. Someone who wants to take care of me. Because I am broken now. You know how you would wonder off into or own mind and just picture her... Walking up, she doesn't have to be perfect. And telling you she won't leave. She accepts u for or mistakes and she's going to love you............. Where is she? I feel angry. Upset. Confused.......... I just need someone close to me. Not for sex. Just....... To be there. Who won't mind that I don't have money or a career now... I write, but I am a rookie and seems no one wants poetry. Tired.Just, tired people. I need a lifeline here.

gibby3794 confused and hurt
  • replies: 5

I am inlove with my best friends boyfriend, I live with them and her family, I finally got the courage to tell her after two years on Saturday night and he overheard, I had already come to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen ever but sinc... View more

I am inlove with my best friends boyfriend, I live with them and her family, I finally got the courage to tell her after two years on Saturday night and he overheard, I had already come to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen ever but since his found out my chest hurts and my head has been spinning, I completely broke down last night when I was told he found out, I don't know what to do, I seriously don't know why I always do this to myself. I feel really broken right now... and when I got home my friends mum told me im not allowed to drink anymore, ive been using it to numb myself.. what do I do??