Confused

[Sweetooth123]

I'm 16 Yr old male and have liked girls all my life, just recently I have thought what if I'm gay? It's tearing me apart because I don't want that! I love girls and thats what I'm attracted to I feel no conection towards men! Am I just going through OCD or am I in denial! It's really frustrating because is making me less motivated and making like a drag 

[Zeal]

Hi Sweet tooth,

Welcome to the forum!

It sounds as though you are not homosexual, as you have never had sexual feelings for a male. If you were though, this is not wrong or abnormal. Homosexuality is biological, so it is something the individual does not control. Luckily, society is now much more accepting (generally) of people who identify as homosexual.

It is very, very unlikely that you have OCD. It sounds like you're feeling worried and a bit paranoid about not fitting in. Perhaps you've seen someone be mistreated or bullied for being homosexual, or for being different?

If you would like to talk to someone about what you're thinking and feeling, see your school counsellor. The appointments will be confidential, and there is no shame in going 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[sidsthename]

Hi Sweetooth, 

I'm a lesbian who's 23, and I still sometimes have fleeting anxious thoughts of "what if I like boys? What if I'm
bi/straight?" Haha.

I think it's fairly normal to question and wonder especially during your teenage years. It is clear at the moment you like girls since you don't have sexual feelings towards men but that wouldn't be an issue.

Also as SM said it is highly unlikely you have OCD, it sounds like you have anxiety or concerns
around fitting in with peers and figuring out who you are. 

I know overthinking who you are and your sexuality can be really overwhelming so I would suggest chatting to someone, a friend or counsellor who can listen and support you.

[Gruffudd]

Hi There,

When you follow your heart and who you feel attracted to I don't think you can go wrong. You say you like girls and don't feel attraction for men, so my hope for you is that you meet a girl who likes you just as much. 

Rob.

[Clare1]

Hi Sweetooth,

Welcome to the world! How wonderful to hear that you're exactly the same as the rest of us! We're all confused! Everyone of us! It's the default condition of being human!

It's kind of nice that you are assuming that I (and the rest of humankind) am less confused than you are, but you're giving me (and them) more credit for wisdom than we deserve. And guess what? 

It's ok to be questioning yourself! It's your self becoming aware of yourself and asking questions. How wise you are! How mature and self-aware. If I could be there with you, I would ask if it would be ok to give you a big hug and be your friend. The world desperately needs people like you to be brave enough to ask the difficult questions.

Go with your feelings, enjoy the wonderful relationships you are about to have with girls, and anything else you feel comfortable with. Life is a smorgasbord, dig in!

Clare