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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Joe_Black1 Strangled by the woman within
  • replies: 24

Hello Forum-World, I’m in a real spot of bother. Not sure if I’m self-destructing or if I’m just lost on the path of “depression alley”. Had some really dark thoughts in the last 48hrs and I'm simply throwing it out here on BB to ‘vent’. I’ve struggl... View more

Hello Forum-World, I’m in a real spot of bother. Not sure if I’m self-destructing or if I’m just lost on the path of “depression alley”. Had some really dark thoughts in the last 48hrs and I'm simply throwing it out here on BB to ‘vent’. I’ve struggled with transgender thoughts since around age 6. School was a mess of confusion, hormones and fear. Enough said, most of you probably had the same or worse. I hated myself and every living thing. Literally despised myself the more I became ‘manly’. I attempted very harmful things along the way to escape. Back in the 70’s growing up in a small town, transgender wasn’t even a word. My thoughts and desires had no name, just pain. Adulthood began with what I do best: becoming, behaving as people expected of me mostly. I joined the Army just as all the males in my family did. I hated it and left. My loving father didn’t speak to me for several days after my return. I have felt that pang of shame and disappointment many times since. To regain my parents approval, I became a manager and worked for many years in jobs I mostly disliked, always fighting my inner demoness in private. I tried women’s’ clothes in private, but that made the feelings stronger and more painful. Now in my 40’s and married with 2 great kids. I have it all.. good house, job, beautiful wife & kids - but inside my inner demoness is slowly choking me. They deserve better than this, better than me. My self-loathing & destructive ways are creeping back and my medication is losing. I drink too much and get very tired or angry. I am filled with fear & hatred. Fear for what I may do and hatred for there is no escape. I see stories of other trans women such as Andreja Prejic moving on with their lives, but I know that can’t happen for me. I made my bed and now I lie in it. I am a married family man and society has strong views on this. My stomach is hurting just thinking about it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve tried therapy. She was a lovely lady who did her best to try and understand my situation. However, I don’t feel like she really gets it. I feel more like I’m just educating her on the “trans condition” for her memoirs… any good therapist recommendations? I want to meet other transfolk to talk, learn & hopefully laugh. Laughing… I think I remember how that goes. Are there support groups for us? I’m afraid to go though: there are only two people who know my condition – my Doc & my Therapist (& you lovely BB peeps) JB beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Winga Coming Out Gay
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I have just come out gay to all of my friends and family and all of the people at school officially and I am looking for some advice on how to deal with the bullying because I have been bullied my whole life for different reasons but now it h... View more

Hi all, I have just come out gay to all of my friends and family and all of the people at school officially and I am looking for some advice on how to deal with the bullying because I have been bullied my whole life for different reasons but now it has become to much.

Rubyjazz My children won't accept my sexuality
  • replies: 1

I have 3 grown up children & for the last 16 yrs they won't talk to me since I've been with my girlfriend for 16 years. I'm dying inside & I don't know how to rectify the situation? I love my children with all my heart & I bought them up very well 1 ... View more

I have 3 grown up children & for the last 16 yrs they won't talk to me since I've been with my girlfriend for 16 years. I'm dying inside & I don't know how to rectify the situation? I love my children with all my heart & I bought them up very well 1 is a school teacher, 1 is a dental hygienist & the other a boilermaker welder. How do I get my children back, I cry most days & even when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer & had an operation to remove the cancer not 1 child came to see me. Will I die never seeing my children again? This is making me give up on life. I don't have friends or go out due to agoraphobia & don't work due to illness I have no energy or life. I was currently in a mental health hospital & they have suggested ect treatment but couldn't do it as my medication would react to the ECT. I need help. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Sadlou Help with transgender teenager
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, this is my first time on here and I'm desperate for some help. Our teenage son has recently told us he is transgender. He has been seeing a psychologist but now she is getting worried about him and wants to send him to a psychiatrist. We... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first time on here and I'm desperate for some help. Our teenage son has recently told us he is transgender. He has been seeing a psychologist but now she is getting worried about him and wants to send him to a psychiatrist. We are fine with his decision and will support him all the way our main concern is him not attending school. He is in year ten and has missed a fair bit of last year and heaps of this year. He has a doctors certificate in place which will run out soon but we are really concerned as to what we will do when that happens and how to tell his school and the education department. He is really depressed and apparently too young to take antidepressants. We worry so much about his future with him missing so much school and are trying our hardest to get him there, we have organised for him to attend on a part time basis but even that isn't working. Anyone in the same situation and can offer some advice?

Pagan Lonely & Isolated
  • replies: 2

Hi All...I'm so lonely and isolated. Isolated generally, as in that I have little to no contact with friends or family and also isolated from my true self, in that I've long felt distanced from my sexual orientation of being lesbian.I turned 50 this ... View more

Hi All...I'm so lonely and isolated. Isolated generally, as in that I have little to no contact with friends or family and also isolated from my true self, in that I've long felt distanced from my sexual orientation of being lesbian.I turned 50 this year and worked out that I haven't had a relationship for 15 years. I also have no friends at all, let alone lesbian ones.What's happened? I also stopped working 11 years ago due to a stress injury. I was diagnosed with an adaptive disorder when new management took over at work and did wrong by me. I won workers compensation but lost my way and haven't worked since.Prior to this I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Other diagnoses I have had/have are PTSD, due to child sexual assault (incest) agoraphobia and eating disorders.I also have disabling physical health problems. Both my knees are wrecked with bone on bone osteoarthritis. I have both severe lower and upper back pain requiring long-term opioid medication. I also have type 11 diabetes, asthma, obstructive sleep apnea (requiring cpap ventilation at night) hypertension, GORD and other GI tract issues.I am also morbidly obese, thus my mobility is poor. I transfer with either a bariatric quad stick, wheelie walker or just recently the addition of a mobility scooter.Sounds bad... but my GP and psychologist haven't given up on me and believe losing the weight would greatly improve my health across the board. I take a lot of medication including the antidepressant, and sometimes a benzodiazepine for anxiety and restless legs.I hope to find some online friends here. I hope you stop by to say hi.

candele What to do????
  • replies: 3

I am a gay, 50yo man, who has been suffering depression all my life as i see it. My self esteem, confidence come and go and gets chipped away, at times from no fault of mine. This is why i have had no work career or established friends during my life... View more

I am a gay, 50yo man, who has been suffering depression all my life as i see it. My self esteem, confidence come and go and gets chipped away, at times from no fault of mine. This is why i have had no work career or established friends during my life.The only true friend ive had passed away from cancer 5 years ago. Since moving to Melbourne on and off 5 years ago things have not really improved. Yes i started a hobby, that im growing into a small business to keep me focused, thou hard with no support. I have joined gay social groups over the years, but i am made feel like that i dont exist as i dont fit in their supposely ` What a gay man should be' I have been told over the years that im a nice guy, and nothing has ever eventuated into anything, like friendship or something more. What to do??????

brooookiee69 Coming to terms with my maybe true self
  • replies: 5

Hello Everyone! I am just recently in a new relationship and my girlfriend is absolutely wonderful and by far the most supportive person I have ever met in my life. She is helping me through this hard time which is of course coming to terms with the ... View more

Hello Everyone! I am just recently in a new relationship and my girlfriend is absolutely wonderful and by far the most supportive person I have ever met in my life. She is helping me through this hard time which is of course coming to terms with the fact that I may or may not be trans. I believe in myself ever since I was young I should have been brought into this world as male and not female.. Although growing up I wasnt aloud to be the "boy" I wanted to be, I was a girl. I am struggling for the fact it is like figuring out whether I was gay or not alll over again and it is so hard! I am finding myself to be a lot angrier in myself and I am starting to take it out on my girlfriend and I do not want that! I cant help it though.. Is anyone going through the same thing? If has anyone been through this that could maybe give me some advice?! Please... Thank you..

nimblebby Unsure
  • replies: 3

So I'm 16 years old and really confused about my sexuality. I've never spoken about it before or said anything out loud about it because no one would expect this from me and that's whats scary. I'm not going to lie, i hope it is a phase so it'll just... View more

So I'm 16 years old and really confused about my sexuality. I've never spoken about it before or said anything out loud about it because no one would expect this from me and that's whats scary. I'm not going to lie, i hope it is a phase so it'll just make everything easier but the thoughts have gone on for sometime now and i don't know what to do about it. I know that it's a stage that a lot of teenagers go through, but I'm not sure how long these phases are meant to go on for. I don't want to think about this but i can't help it as it's always in my mind. I've had boyfriends before, a lot of them, but I've never really been connected to any of them as it relationships should be. Maybe i haven't found the right guy yet, but theres also that possibility that well, I'm not totally straight. This is my first time ever really typing or saying this sort of thing and it's really hard. I've always been one of those girls that a lot of my guys at school are attracted to. I get along with guys and i hang out with many of them but i've never felt the same way or a deep connection with any of them. Is this normal? I don't know what to do and how to feel and i couldn't bottle it up for any longer so i needed to let it out.

Mike797 Ready to face being gay and in love...i think
  • replies: 6

Hi, i am 39 yrs and have come to the realisation that it's time to own up about being gay. I have recently had my first gay sexual experience, with a guy that I met online. The funny thing is, we actually like each other and are now dating. I fluctua... View more

Hi, i am 39 yrs and have come to the realisation that it's time to own up about being gay. I have recently had my first gay sexual experience, with a guy that I met online. The funny thing is, we actually like each other and are now dating. I fluctuate between feeling really strong/empowered and highly anxious about what the hell I have not done with my life up until now. I haven't "come out" yet, so I know those challenges await me too.. But the biggest thing for me that makes me feel low and wasted is that if this relationship fails, I will be heading towards 40 and be gay and single...it scares the hell out of me and hurts to focus on it. Anyone experienced something similar? Any advice? Cheers M

Soulless227 Pitfalls of Trauma and Poly Troubles, Day in the life of your not-so-average transman
  • replies: 7

Trigger Warning: R*pe, trauma, depression, abuse, struggles with food Yo... so just having a very bad... year? Like good things have happened, I made it to my second year of uni, I became romantically involve with two more odd, quirky people on top o... View more

Trigger Warning: R*pe, trauma, depression, abuse, struggles with food Yo... so just having a very bad... year? Like good things have happened, I made it to my second year of uni, I became romantically involve with two more odd, quirky people on top of staying strong with my longest lasting relationship and I got a new hobby/hobbies. Problem is though, now that I feel safe the abuse I experienced as a child and separate cases of abuse right up until two years ago are now starting to surface in memories I had repressed with old feelings of self-hate and low self-worth as well as the new feeling of nausea every time my anxiety raises above "mildly stressed" so almost all the time. Sadly this nausea is compounding with my newfound image problems and making it hard for me to accept that eating is good and to do so when hungry. On top of this, which I'm basically hiding from everyone and, unhelpfully, forgetting to tell my psychologist, my primary partner (the one I've been with longest) is having troubles with one of my other partners mainly due to discomfort on my primary partner's part and I can't help him. I kind of survive on helping friends get through things and my partner hasn't expressed a desire for me to do anything to help... Though he's talking to someone (my cousin who's in a similar-ish position) which is great... and would be fine if he didn't snap at me for the other partner coming around the house... That's not massively a problem but it adds stress and tension on top of the flashbacks of trauma. I know how to deal with everything... I do... But I'm struggling with having time and effort to help myself and I'm finding it hard to let any of my partners know I'm on the verge of a serious breakdown... because they all have their problems...and I don't want to make it worse. I don't know what I want from here... I just don't want to hold everything quietly to myself anymore