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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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brooookiee69 Coming to terms with my maybe true self
  • replies: 5

Hello Everyone! I am just recently in a new relationship and my girlfriend is absolutely wonderful and by far the most supportive person I have ever met in my life. She is helping me through this hard time which is of course coming to terms with the ... View more

Hello Everyone! I am just recently in a new relationship and my girlfriend is absolutely wonderful and by far the most supportive person I have ever met in my life. She is helping me through this hard time which is of course coming to terms with the fact that I may or may not be trans. I believe in myself ever since I was young I should have been brought into this world as male and not female.. Although growing up I wasnt aloud to be the "boy" I wanted to be, I was a girl. I am struggling for the fact it is like figuring out whether I was gay or not alll over again and it is so hard! I am finding myself to be a lot angrier in myself and I am starting to take it out on my girlfriend and I do not want that! I cant help it though.. Is anyone going through the same thing? If has anyone been through this that could maybe give me some advice?! Please... Thank you..

nimblebby Unsure
  • replies: 3

So I'm 16 years old and really confused about my sexuality. I've never spoken about it before or said anything out loud about it because no one would expect this from me and that's whats scary. I'm not going to lie, i hope it is a phase so it'll just... View more

So I'm 16 years old and really confused about my sexuality. I've never spoken about it before or said anything out loud about it because no one would expect this from me and that's whats scary. I'm not going to lie, i hope it is a phase so it'll just make everything easier but the thoughts have gone on for sometime now and i don't know what to do about it. I know that it's a stage that a lot of teenagers go through, but I'm not sure how long these phases are meant to go on for. I don't want to think about this but i can't help it as it's always in my mind. I've had boyfriends before, a lot of them, but I've never really been connected to any of them as it relationships should be. Maybe i haven't found the right guy yet, but theres also that possibility that well, I'm not totally straight. This is my first time ever really typing or saying this sort of thing and it's really hard. I've always been one of those girls that a lot of my guys at school are attracted to. I get along with guys and i hang out with many of them but i've never felt the same way or a deep connection with any of them. Is this normal? I don't know what to do and how to feel and i couldn't bottle it up for any longer so i needed to let it out.

Mike797 Ready to face being gay and in love...i think
  • replies: 6

Hi, i am 39 yrs and have come to the realisation that it's time to own up about being gay. I have recently had my first gay sexual experience, with a guy that I met online. The funny thing is, we actually like each other and are now dating. I fluctua... View more

Hi, i am 39 yrs and have come to the realisation that it's time to own up about being gay. I have recently had my first gay sexual experience, with a guy that I met online. The funny thing is, we actually like each other and are now dating. I fluctuate between feeling really strong/empowered and highly anxious about what the hell I have not done with my life up until now. I haven't "come out" yet, so I know those challenges await me too.. But the biggest thing for me that makes me feel low and wasted is that if this relationship fails, I will be heading towards 40 and be gay and single...it scares the hell out of me and hurts to focus on it. Anyone experienced something similar? Any advice? Cheers M

Soulless227 Pitfalls of Trauma and Poly Troubles, Day in the life of your not-so-average transman
  • replies: 7

Trigger Warning: R*pe, trauma, depression, abuse, struggles with food Yo... so just having a very bad... year? Like good things have happened, I made it to my second year of uni, I became romantically involve with two more odd, quirky people on top o... View more

Trigger Warning: R*pe, trauma, depression, abuse, struggles with food Yo... so just having a very bad... year? Like good things have happened, I made it to my second year of uni, I became romantically involve with two more odd, quirky people on top of staying strong with my longest lasting relationship and I got a new hobby/hobbies. Problem is though, now that I feel safe the abuse I experienced as a child and separate cases of abuse right up until two years ago are now starting to surface in memories I had repressed with old feelings of self-hate and low self-worth as well as the new feeling of nausea every time my anxiety raises above "mildly stressed" so almost all the time. Sadly this nausea is compounding with my newfound image problems and making it hard for me to accept that eating is good and to do so when hungry. On top of this, which I'm basically hiding from everyone and, unhelpfully, forgetting to tell my psychologist, my primary partner (the one I've been with longest) is having troubles with one of my other partners mainly due to discomfort on my primary partner's part and I can't help him. I kind of survive on helping friends get through things and my partner hasn't expressed a desire for me to do anything to help... Though he's talking to someone (my cousin who's in a similar-ish position) which is great... and would be fine if he didn't snap at me for the other partner coming around the house... That's not massively a problem but it adds stress and tension on top of the flashbacks of trauma. I know how to deal with everything... I do... But I'm struggling with having time and effort to help myself and I'm finding it hard to let any of my partners know I'm on the verge of a serious breakdown... because they all have their problems...and I don't want to make it worse. I don't know what I want from here... I just don't want to hold everything quietly to myself anymore

ArcadianMind What to do?
  • replies: 7

I came here in desperation as I have no idea what to do and have no one to talk to about all of this... In brief I am a 25yo female I've been more attracted to other girls for as long as I can remember... preteen I always admired the female character... View more

I came here in desperation as I have no idea what to do and have no one to talk to about all of this... In brief I am a 25yo female I've been more attracted to other girls for as long as I can remember... preteen I always admired the female characters while others girls pined over the males one. I adored the Charmed Ones and a huge Xena the Warrior princess fan I was already being abused and bullied for being "weird" without having them all know I fancied girls so I kept it a secret and tried to my best to ignore those feelings and faking it, lying to myself in the hope all those feelings would go away. Anyway, now I am nearly 26yo I am struggling to keep my secret; I find myself attracted very strongly to a new friend I've made and I can hear that damn clock ticking. The new friend is no good for me (questionably straight with a boyfriend) but she has made me realize that I need to seriously consider how I want to live my life. I feel I am comfortable in the prospect of having a girlfriend; I am lucky to have a very open and supportive family but it is the rest of the world that scares me. It's the idea of loosing friends and the trauma of my childhood scares me... it's like I don't want to give the world another reason to hate me. But at the same time I don't think I could live any longer lying to myself... it's effecting my anxiety like something shocking and I know I need to do something. But I don't know what... where do I go from here, what do I do, what's the next step?? Please, any ideas or suggestions would be great. I'm so tired of feeling so alone. Sincerely, ArcadianMind.

hotwheels47 Disabled lesbian depressed over loneliness
  • replies: 10

I'm a lesbian in a wheelchair looking for love. Unfortunately, there are no support groups in my town, I live an hour north of a major city in Qld but I don't drive, or go out at night due to safety. I want to meet somebody special, but people can't ... View more

I'm a lesbian in a wheelchair looking for love. Unfortunately, there are no support groups in my town, I live an hour north of a major city in Qld but I don't drive, or go out at night due to safety. I want to meet somebody special, but people can't see past the wheelchair and are not interested. I find myself becoming more introverted, and feeling a bit down. Before, I was always extroverted, and outgoing, but now I see myself changing and I don't like it. How do I overcome feeling as if my life is over and I am still only 46 yrs old.

hevno-hadrim How to get over a married man
  • replies: 6

I'm an 18 year old bisexual male who recently got out of a 2 month agreement with a 28 year old married man. I am unable to call it a relationship, because it wasn't anything like that and I was basically a boy toy. I knew what I was getting into, an... View more

I'm an 18 year old bisexual male who recently got out of a 2 month agreement with a 28 year old married man. I am unable to call it a relationship, because it wasn't anything like that and I was basically a boy toy. I knew what I was getting into, and I agreed with it all. He even told me himself, that I shouldn't get attached, mainly because I was only a temporary change from old routine. During the beginning of our agreement, I felt absolutely terrible. Not because I was attached, but because I felt objectified and worthless. I felt down, and lacked the motivation for simple tasks and all I wanted to do was sleep. Eventually, I did get attached and that made me feel even worse. I became impatient and reckless and even told him to run away with me. I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted to feel like something more.He just did little things which convinced me that he actually cared for me, when the truth is, he didn't. I came to realize who I was and what I was to him; as well as who I wanted to be and decided to end it. I felt terrible that day, and that was the motivation I needed to end things. ended it last week on Friday (I think) and on the first night the break up went smooth, but then he began sending me messages telling me im dramatic and over exaggerating and I haven't opened them yet because I don't want to. The second day of our break up was the worst, I couldn't stop crying and feeling as if I had made a mistake. I really just wanted him back. Now its Monday, and I'm feeling a lot better but I can't help and still regret my decision. I do miss him and I do want him back, but I am trying to keep it together. How do I overcome these feelings of loneliness?

pablopablo help
  • replies: 3

hii am a gay man in my late 40's . I suffer from severe depression and anxiety for most of my life , i struggle to keep any relationships or friends and every day really is a struggle. I recently got made redundant and it really has just destroyed me... View more

hii am a gay man in my late 40's . I suffer from severe depression and anxiety for most of my life , i struggle to keep any relationships or friends and every day really is a struggle. I recently got made redundant and it really has just destroyed me i have been to interviews and i just freeze and just cant talk in one i even cried and i just feel at the moment that there is not much left to live for i feel like i have hit rock bottom and do not know what to do.i just dont know what to do , i have no one to talk to and just dont know where to turn have been to the Gp and he can only suggest talking to someone but i really find that so hard. Am i just weird can anyone suggest something . beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Marcello71 Out at last
  • replies: 5

Hello everyone, I'm a typical man lilke everyone else but was born and raised in Malaysia. I came to Australia 11 years ago to study, finished my studies and been working since. I got married before I came to Australia, which was expected by my famil... View more

Hello everyone, I'm a typical man lilke everyone else but was born and raised in Malaysia. I came to Australia 11 years ago to study, finished my studies and been working since. I got married before I came to Australia, which was expected by my family ie to be a good son, brother, uphold the family name etc. I knew about my sexuality ever as long as I could remember. I have suppresed my feelings, sexuality, married with kids, I thought I done it well. Living in Australia opened my percerption and views about my sexuality. I started to explore my sexuality and started to like being with another man. I realised that nothing is wrong being gay (where it is not accepted in Malaysia) and I do can live my life as a gay man. But since I was married I thought I can keep it low and seek for pleasure whenver I need but everytime I do do it I feel guilty. There were weeks and days that I gone by sleepless and cried deep inside me for leading a double life. There were time I considered ending my life but again that does'nt solve anything. This was going on for couple of years , so September last the I came out after five sleepless nights and talking to a friend of mine who supported my decision to come out. I came to my wife and family members. No one took it well but slowly my side of family accepted me for who I am. My wife and her family took it hard. My wife and I visited a councillor and talked about the issues. Her emotions are up and down every now and then. All I want is a good life and I can carefor my kids and run my life that I wanted. The divorce is end of this year and I don't know what to expect during the process. What are my responsbilities for my kids? I need help as I done know who to approach. I need some guidence please.

Alumian Separation Anxiety
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, a bit about me before I start: I'm 22, gay and I've had this problem pretty much for as long as I can remember. So as the title of the thread suggests, I suffer from separation anxiety and to say the least, I'm extremely worried that it'... View more

Hi everyone, a bit about me before I start: I'm 22, gay and I've had this problem pretty much for as long as I can remember. So as the title of the thread suggests, I suffer from separation anxiety and to say the least, I'm extremely worried that it's going to damage or even cost me my relationship. I've recently found an amazing and supportive guy and I've discussed my problem with him and he's reassured me that he's going to help me any time I have any kind of anxiety related thoughts. This is my fourth relationship now and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Long story short, times when I'm not around him I start thinking stupid things that make no sense like he's angry at me (despite him just saying he loves me) or that he's in danger (for example, when he drives back to his house after seeing me, but it also happens in situations where I know he's perfectly safe such as him just going to the shops with his family). He wants me to tell him when ever I feel like this but I'm afraid that one day he's just going to say he's had enough, despite him saying he's never going to leave me just because I love him and care about him that much. I suppose the easiest way I can summarise my anxiety is I'm perpetually afraid that I'm going to lose him. I have previously seen a psychologist about it when I was in my previous relationship and we -thought- that I had gotten over it so we concluded our sessions together, but it turns out that I just fell out of love with that guy so the problem wasn't really solved. But it's odd because sometimes I'm perfectly alright, for example when he's at work or when I'm at work, I don't have any anxiety related feelings what so ever. Things that I tend to do which are triggered by my anxiety are things like, first of all like I said, thinking illogical thoughts, I find myself with an upset stomach, panicking and getting very emotional to the point where sometimes I just feel like crying just because he's not there. So for obvious reasons, you can see why I want to get to the bottom of this. Can anyone give me any pointers to coping with separation anxiety?