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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Petotje thinking about my younger years...is the grass greener on the other side???
  • replies: 1

Hi All, A little story first...20 years ago I fell in love with a woman, my first love, my soul mate but the family disagreed and I cut myself loose from my then lesbian friends because according to my grandma that was just a foolish teenage act?! We... View more

Hi All, A little story first...20 years ago I fell in love with a woman, my first love, my soul mate but the family disagreed and I cut myself loose from my then lesbian friends because according to my grandma that was just a foolish teenage act?! We always kept in touch - she was my everything. Anyway, she met a nice girl, married her. I met a nice boy, married him. Everything was going great until we decided moving to Australia. Her marriage ended and in 2009 disaster happened, she committed suicide. My world ended that day. The first year was horrible. It was there and then that something broke in my marriage. I'm gently trying to crawl out of the closet. My husband and I are still together but it doesn't feel like we're a couple. We're more friends. and yet I'm so afraid to open my mouth and say it's over. I'm with every vain in my body a lesbian. Scared of his reaction... I know if I want something to happen I need to act... I think I played every scenario in my head and still...What do I do? We have an apartment, a good savings account, he arranges everything tho - don't know anything about our banking accounts. The only thing I want is stay friends, don't have the courage to fight...

Robbo_ I don't know what to do with my life
  • replies: 2

I am 21 year old, I am unemployed and living with my parents. Feeling really depressed. I used to have someone to talk to but they're not around any more so I thought I'd post.I'm gay and I'm not out. I first realized it in high school. My parents ar... View more

I am 21 year old, I am unemployed and living with my parents. Feeling really depressed. I used to have someone to talk to but they're not around any more so I thought I'd post.I'm gay and I'm not out. I first realized it in high school. My parents are religious Asians so I never told them. At first I didn't wanna admit it to myself, or tell anyone. So in high school I became that guy that had no friends and pushed everyone away. I did so because I thought if I allowed people to get close to me, they would see me for who I really am. I pushed everyone away and kept to myself. I have completely stuffed myself up. Slowly since high school I've started getting really anxious when I'm around people. I find myself getting really uncomfortable in social situations, I can't even make eye contact with anyone without freezing up and completely humiliating myself. I have trouble keeping a conversation going. This has caused me to have troubles finding a job, being at school, getting an education. Everything pretty much.I completed year 12 and got a certificate luckily. Those last 2 school years were the hardest time in my life but I made it through. After that I tried to study IT and Chefing but didn't have as much luck. Studying those two courses required me to go to a new school and be around new people and I wasn't able to do that. I thought if I kept my eyes on the price (which was completing the courses) I could do it but very slowly my lack of social skills got in my way. I had to drop out of both. Now I am 21 years old, unemployed with very minimal experience in hospitality.I have been trying really hard to get a job but everyone just wants experienced people and good social skills and I just don't have any of those. I wish someone would just give me a chance. I would start at the bottom if I have to. I just need a chance. I check online regularly for jobs, it's become part of my routine. I sent out resumes almost everyday, I get phone calls at least once a week and attend interviews but I guess I'm just not good enough.My last job was an apprenticeship at a restaurant, It was hard on my first year, I didn't speak unless I had to.I was left alone and I did my job. Very slowly after my second year I made a friend at school and things got better. I eventually became friends with my workmates after only a year and I think it was because of that friend. She taught me how to be myself again. Now she's gone. I'm unemployed. I'm back where I started. Help?

foreigner_in_AU feeling sad...
  • replies: 5

Hi all,, I hope you can help me. I feel sad very often and I don't sleep well. It's hard for me because I haven't told anyone about this, also, I migrated to Australia and my family is not here, I feel I never adapted completely to this country even ... View more

Hi all,, I hope you can help me. I feel sad very often and I don't sleep well. It's hard for me because I haven't told anyone about this, also, I migrated to Australia and my family is not here, I feel I never adapted completely to this country even I have been here for more than 7 years. I have been taking anti depresants and I exercise most days but still feel sad, well I am gay and don't have a partner, this is also affecting I think. Cheers

gibby3794 my last 3 years
  • replies: 11

i have been suffering depression and anxiety since February 2011 (brought on due to moving away from my home town) but i have only recently been diagnosed, i am now wishing i did not let it get to this point and decided to get help earlier (i am now ... View more

i have been suffering depression and anxiety since February 2011 (brought on due to moving away from my home town) but i have only recently been diagnosed, i am now wishing i did not let it get to this point and decided to get help earlier (i am now seeing a psychologist) and possibly getting medication, it seems that ever since i moved everything has gone wrong, all of a sudden i ended up to my eye balls in debt with about 10 different debt collection agency's ringing daily to the point where i am now scared of answering my phone.i have also realized since moving that i am actually gay and while friends and co-workers dont have any issues with it as within my group of friends there are a few of us that are gay, lesbian and bi, and my work colleagues are all fine with it to as we have 4 people within the company (including me) that are gay i still have not had the courage to tell any family members about my sexuality, depression, anxiety or much about myself to be honest, i am close to most of my family but can not bring myself to tell them and every day i dont it is eating away at me making things worse.i used to love going to work but the last 2 months i find myself dreading going and the only reason i have not quit is because of financial stress.i have also gone out and brought expensive things (like a $1000 tv) ect thinking if i buy this i will love my life and feel great but it doesnt work, the novelty of the things i buy wears off then i have to sell them to pay bills or stuff and am still paying them off, so i end up worse off having a debt for something that the novelty had worn off and item has been sold. i also have bad tendencies to get angry at people really easy and instead of dealing with it like a normal person i either start yelling and screaming or just dont say a word and get in my car and drive very unsafely. and so far none of my methods have helped at all, infact they make things worse so please people do not do what i do as it just makes things worse..i dont even know if this makes any sense or why i am writing it but here i am so yeahh.. thanks for reading

Tk98 Realised I'm bisexual
  • replies: 3

I'm a 16 year old guy living in Perth,WA and I just realised that im sexually attracted to either sex which im trying to come to terms with. Last year I thought I was completely homosexual but then i started to have feelings for girls as well not jus... View more

I'm a 16 year old guy living in Perth,WA and I just realised that im sexually attracted to either sex which im trying to come to terms with. Last year I thought I was completely homosexual but then i started to have feelings for girls as well not just boys so I am into both boys and girls. My realisation has shocked me, I have not come out to my family yet, but I don't want to upset them.

644Amy what if i dont want help
  • replies: 49

hii have joined this community today as i thought i needed help.but as i read all the other peoples problems i feel as if im just being a winger as my problems seem very small in comparison. I am a transgender girl andi am just feeling very alone on ... View more

hii have joined this community today as i thought i needed help.but as i read all the other peoples problems i feel as if im just being a winger as my problems seem very small in comparison. I am a transgender girl andi am just feeling very alone on my journey.i get very sad and have thoughts of harming myself and im supposed to ask for help when this happens,but at that time help is the last thing im going to ask for. Is there a solution to this problem.Regards Amy.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

aly1403 I think I'm in love with my best friend
  • replies: 2

She was the first person I told I was bi and since then I've been getting this feelings about her and then her parents suddenly told her that they're moving to another country in less than a month. Things with her have been a bit weird for a few mont... View more

She was the first person I told I was bi and since then I've been getting this feelings about her and then her parents suddenly told her that they're moving to another country in less than a month. Things with her have been a bit weird for a few months, like she'll be staring at me for a while and then look away when I look at her, or we'll be alone together and she'll snuggle up to me, but then the next minute she has a super mood-swing and suddenly won't even hug or talk to me - the other day she slept over at my place and one minute we were cuddling on the couch, basically on top of each other then the next she's hanging off the end of the bed like she doesn't want to be near me... Ever since I found out that she's moving I've just felt really lonely and upset and then when we're having one of our moments I feel fine but then she has this mood-swing thing and I feel terrible again. I really have no idea what to do and I just want to stop feeling like this.

cuteclaudia transgender girl... loneliness, depression and anxiety
  • replies: 7

hi.. I'm Claudia, a transgirl who lives in the central west of nsw... Since coming out as trans I've lost my family, apart from regular abuse and ridicule by email, however I am married to a usually supportive partner, however I do understand it is r... View more

hi.. I'm Claudia, a transgirl who lives in the central west of nsw... Since coming out as trans I've lost my family, apart from regular abuse and ridicule by email, however I am married to a usually supportive partner, however I do understand it is really hard for her as she certainly didn't sign up for this. For me, I first knew something was different when I was about 9 and by 13 I let my family know I wanted to be a girl... their reaction was to send me to an all boys school and ignore it... lets just say I've blanked that whole part of my life out... especially seeing my brother outed me as wanting to be a girl when I was in year 7, lets just say people weren't as tolerant as most are now so I hid from the world for a long time and have to admit to a lot of issues from that time. Whilst over the past few months I've begun to feel a lot better about myself, the further I go in my transition, the more my partner reminds me I have no one in this world if I don't conform to what they want... which has made me feel very lonely and vulnerable as whilst people tell you they're supportive, not many people really accept you. This has been backed up by my partner's mother, who whilst initially being supportive has become quite aggressive towards my transition. I am regular and purposely being gender as a guy and called my old name by her and her partner even though I no longer pass as a guy... this causes me a huge amount of hurt, embarrassment and anguish. I guess today was worst of it when I was told I was a self centred individual who needs to understand other people have feelings... I'm not sure how hard it is to gender and call a person by the name they want, especially when they know I get very bad depression, anxiety and panic attacks from this... and when verbally abused by people get suicidal thoughts (I don't have much confidence).... To me, if someone wanted to be called something else I would be more than happy to call them by the name they'd like if that made them happy. I'm actually not sure why I'm posting as I don't have a question... but just want to feel someone might read this... as whilst I'm pretty good at putting on a smile most of the time seeing that is what the world expects, inside everything is falling apart and with xmas coming up, I wish I had someone who believed in and accepted me as I already hate myself enough without others making me feel worse.

Jude7 My friend the lesbian?
  • replies: 2

My friend has dated several guys throughout high school and all have been really big "mistakes" as she calls them. At the end of grade 11 she pulled me aside to tell me after all the abuse she went through with boys that she was so affected it drove ... View more

My friend has dated several guys throughout high school and all have been really big "mistakes" as she calls them. At the end of grade 11 she pulled me aside to tell me after all the abuse she went through with boys that she was so affected it drove her into the arms of an older girl. (We we're 16 this girl was 22). I was a little shocked, but i love her and decided whatever she wanted to be or do was her decision even though it took me by surprise. She dated this girl for a few months and then suddenly they broke up without any dramatic conclusion.. they just kind of stopped talking. For the entire year she talked to me about how being with a girl was so much more intimate and special, and i really do believe she was in love. She vowed off men forever because she was ready to "come out". Of course lots of people bullied her... she had dated half the male population of our school! lots of people called her an "attention seeker" and a "slut" for what she did but i held her hand throughout. Almost a year has passed since and the bullying has stopped, she tells me everyday she's happy with everything thats happened... but now just last week she started seeing a guy? I'm so confused because i don't know how to respond and feel like she will get offended by any questions i have. I also don't want to see her get bullied again... Can someone honestly change their sexuality so quickly?

Guest_8326 15 year old boy struggling with transgender thoughts and feelings!
  • replies: 5

Hey everyone,I really need some help. Since I started puberty when I was 10/11 the thought of wearing women's clothing and acting like a girl has excited me. I cant remember what awakened these feelings or if I ever felt like that before Year 5. When... View more

Hey everyone,I really need some help. Since I started puberty when I was 10/11 the thought of wearing women's clothing and acting like a girl has excited me. I cant remember what awakened these feelings or if I ever felt like that before Year 5. When I got into year 8 I started tofeel depressed and anxious all the time in public, the way I looked and how I was tall and hairy and masculine took away all my confidence and self worth. Im really not sure what to do, seeing as I never had these feelings when I was really little and most transgender people do.Im seeing my psychologist once a week but its hard to go to school and want to leave my room when I feel so bad.I need to know if I feel this way because I am a girl (or maybe genderfluid or something?) or if its because of something else. Thanks