Help with transgender teenager

[Sadlou]

Hi everyone, this is my first time on here and I'm desperate for some help.  Our teenage son has recently told us he is transgender.  He has been seeing a psychologist but now she is getting worried about him and wants to send him to a psychiatrist.  We are fine with his decision and will support him all the way our main concern is him not attending school.  He is in year ten and has missed a fair bit of last year and heaps of this year.  He has a doctors certificate in place which will run out soon but we are really concerned as to what we will do when that happens and how to tell his school and the education department.  He is really depressed and apparently too young to take antidepressants.  We worry so much about his future with him missing so much school and are trying our hardest to get him there, we have organised for him to attend on a part time basis but even that isn't working.  Anyone in the same situation and can offer some advice?

[geoff]

dear Sadlou, thanks for posting your comment, and truly appreciate your acceptance of your son wanting to change his gender.

I am only replying to you because it's the week-end, and because of this the person who can help you won't be back until Monday, as they can provide you with information, which they may have already. 

I didn't want you to think that nobody has seen nor interested in your comment because we are, but unfortunately I have no experience in this area. Geoff.

[Chris_B]

Hi Sadlou, welcome to the forums.  

A couple of reference points for you - the first one is the beyondblue resource Families Like Mine.

The second is an organisation called Working It Out which provides support for transgendered people and has a close association with the Safe Schools Coalition.

The third is the Q Switchboard which provides telephone counselling and referrals.

Hope you'll come back and let us know how your son is going.

[MSienna]

I am a new member too. I feel like you are writing about my son who is also in year ten and just told us he is transgender.  Waiting to hear from the  hospital to find out what our next step is.  He is seeing a psychologist and has missed a lot of school over the last few years and has been depressed.  Nice to know we are not alone.  Sienna.

[Sadlou]

Hi Sienna so nice to hear from someone in the same situation as us.  Would love to keep in touch to help each other through these tough times?

[MSienna]

Hi Sadlou,we are both going through some really stressful times.  My son never showed signs of feminity and only started feeling like he was in the wrong body two years ago when puberty hit.  He has two years to process all this,we have only had 3 weeks.  I worry about his future so much but he just wants to get on the hormones.  None of this will happen quickly so he needs to be patient which is a lot to ask.  

[Sadlou]

Hi Sienna, thanks so much for replying.  Same here no signs what so ever, and yes about two years ago.  He probably told us around six months ago and he hasn't asked to go on hormones or anything as yet.  He is seeing a psychologist at the moment but she now thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist.  We have had a talk to our son today about the importance of going to school etc with this year being so important and starting college next year so fingers crossed.  His current high school is letting him attend on a part time basis but even that is a struggle for him and we worry that he has missed so much.  

[MSienna]

Hi Sadlou,you sound like you maybe having a bit more of a hard time.  My son is fairly calm most of the time.  He has been avoiding swimming at school lately I think it's because he is very unhappy with his body.  We are still deciding when and what to tell school.  My husband is trying to deny it's all happening.  He was a country boy and life was pretty simple.  My son has some really good friends at school which definitely helps.  Everytime I turn on the t.v. or get on facebook I see something on transgender kids or same sex marriage.  Can't escape it.  If your son misses too much school could you get him a tutor.  Very difficult for all of you.  Take care Sienna.

[SueWIO]

Hi Sadlou,   There is support available for parents like yourself. A great website which could be helpful is www.genderhelpforparents.com.au.  “Gender Help for Parents” is a website created and maintained by Australian parents who have struggled to find information about services and support for issues around their children’s gender identity. The aim of the website is to make gender identity information easily available for parents and carers. There are also programs such as Safe Schools available which are helping schools be safer and more inclusive for same sex attracted, intersex and gender diverse students, school staff and families; Working It Out is the state partner in Tasmania. I hope this helps and please feel free to contact us at Working It Out regarding other resources and support that may be of assistance to you and your family.  

[jenGHfP]

Hi Sadlou  - I'm a parent involved with Gender Help For Parents website that Sue mentioned in this thread. If you ever want with connect with other parents please feel don't hesitate to email  for further information or approach the other support organisations Sue mentioned. My child has transitioned from male to female - it's been a challenging journey but my child is happy and healthy. Having other parents to connect with and share the journey with has been so beneficial for my family. I wish you and your family all the best.