Bisexual Woman

[Natos]

Hi everyone, my name's Nat and I thought that my story might help some of you who might still be learning to understand being bisexual.

I never had this crazy urge to be with a woman, I'd been with men my whole life at when I found myself single at 30 I decided that I should maybe go and investigate this curiosity that I had of being with a woman. I had no connections to meet a women as I only knew straight people so I went online and started using the 'Brenda' dating app. What I thought would just be a bit of an experience and experiment soon turned into falling madly in love with a woman and finding myself in a committed relationship.

 Through my experience most people were supported, the funny thing was that the most 'pro gay rights' friends that I knew were the once who took it the hardest! Everyone wanted to put me in a box to define me, I don't even like calling myself bisexual, not that I'm ashamed but i don't feel the need to be defined. Telling my mum was the hardest, she was supportive but we had our testing times. 

 After one year my girlfriend and I broke up as we fell out of love in the end. I am now living with my boyfriend and we have been together for 1.5 years and planning on having kids next year. This doesn't mean that I'm not still attracted to women, though I am faithful and would not cheat on my man. My own personal circumstance is that I've found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, it doesn't matter that he is a man or a women, he is a beautiful person.

A struggle that I did have in my relationship with my ex girlfriend is that I really missed being sexual with a man at times and in the end my conclusion is that I think for a long term relationship I'm probably better suited to be with a man but if I was ever to be single again I would be open to dating both men and women.

 Anyway I hope that this might help someone out there. Another big struggle of mine was not having any gay friends and I found it really hard breaking into the LGBTI community though I recommend maybe going online and start dating girls and hopefully make some friends out of that.

Either way, don't stress too much about trying to box yourself into a sexuality, you love a person and not a sex and that is a beautiful trait to have.

Nat

[Gruffudd]

Hi Nat,

Thanks for sharing your story. I think it is hard for bi people when they are sometimes perceived to be straight or gay depending on the gender of the person they are dating. When the LGBT community is at its best everyone is accepted and has a place. I think it is a real strength in who you are when you express in being able to love the person rather than their sex.

Rob.

[Paul]

Hey Nat,

Sounds like you've really accepted who you are and as you mentioned - without labels!

For a long time as a gay guy, I thought someone who was bi was just "in the process" of coming out. Life experience has taught me that that is usually not the case.

A friend's husband recently confided in me that he is bi. He has told his wife and remains faithful and dedicated to his wife and children all of whom he adores. His wife is completely understanding and accepting since he told her.

This cemented to me that sexuality really is shades of grey and not just black and white and not just labels.

Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of my own prejudices and how listening and sharing really does challenge them for the better!

Paul