Movember, being a man and having a trans experience

[Embracing_Tiger]

It is currently Movember: a month-long campaign that the Movember Foundation, a global men's health charity, raises money and promotes awareness of men's health issues, such as mental illness, testicular cancer, prostate cancer and physical inactivity. Moustaches are grown, beards are shawn off. Some men grow their facial hair. Some men can't grow facial hair. 

A couple days ago, the Movember Foundation channel on youtube released a short doco  "Jeremy Wiggins - Helping redefine what it means to be a man". Jeremy is a man with lived trans experience. His beard is a huge part of his masculine identity and when he shaved it off, he was "worried that [he] would feel more vulnerable". In an interview with The Star Observer, he said “I’ve always known in myself that I’ve felt like I was a boy, or man or male, but when I decided to transition and become a man I was really scared about how the world would respond."

Everyone has different experiences and a different relationship with masculinity, their body and facial hair. For Jeremy, his masculinity is beyond the physical, and he thinks "that question [what it means to be a man] isn’t as relevant as it was in the past. Now it means being a good person who is aware of his behaviours, and the impact he has on others, as well as being authentic."

What do you think it means to be human?

ET

[Paul]

Hey ET,

What does it mean to be human?

It means that we are born with the ability to think and feel perhaps at a more advanced level than other species. (let's not open that can of worms). It means that this ability is fallible, and it is beautiful and it is a struggle. As you've described there are societal norms that we are expected to fall into, but as a lot discover it's not that simple. I think that those who fall easily into a norm "bucket" also find it easy to disregard those who find it difficult to fit into one of the buckets, therefore fit in multiple or sometimes none.

All of these traits are human, that we have norms, that we struggle to find our place that some don't.

Hopefully as a race of "thinking" humans we are able to more easily understand, respect and remove judgement of each other. 

Sadly we're not quite there yet. Being human also means we NEED something to believe in to explain our existence. (mid life crisis, existential angst etc). Even those who don't actively question their existence tend to blindly follow based on morals until the question begs.

Having said that, being human means belonging socially, having a purpose, and being fallible.

Belonging and being accepted means celebrating masculinity, femininity and identity. Those celebrated identities are part of us, if they are challenged internally or externally, it leads to possible vulnerability - as you demonstrated, or conflict. Another part of being human.

Being human means celebrating other human's differences for selfish and unselfish reasons.

This is such a HUGE topic - I hope I have stayed in context.

Paul x

[Gruffudd]

Identity, such a complicated thing, and I have tended to respond to what does it mean with, "I don't know, but I sure want to go on that journey to find out." 

One thing I have thought about for many years is about being a hybrid - I was born into a Welsh/Icelandic/English family in Australia. I can never fully identify with or in some ways be accepted as Welsh or Australian because I am a mixture and that makes for something new and different. Yet one can't be half a person so I am truely completely Welsh, Australian... 

Gender is kind of the same for me, I see the same kind of struggle between masculinity and femininity going on within. I quite like that I am fully one, the other, and both.

I am friends with a butch dyke who amongst her proudest moments was a protest in kings cross in 1978. She identifies as female and expresses her gender in a way others often read as masculine. I have learned so much from her about being brave enough to be myself, and that the people I want in my life will respect and celebrate me (the rest according to her can go and get...) 

Looking back at all that, I feel rather lucky to be born this way because I know my gender identities, and I know my cultures too, and most of all I have friends that are authentic and have the best stories to tell late at night when we may have drank too much.

Rob.

[Embracing_Tiger]

Wow Paul, you took a fantastic social evolutionary approach to the question. There is no doubt that humans are social animals. Like a lot of other animals, we naturally cling to our tribe through our identity. Perhaps a perspective of one larger tribe, rather than seperate factions, will develop that respect you wrote about. 

[Embracing_Tiger]

Hi Rob. It is lovely that you can define your identity outside of a rigid framework link nationality/heritage and gender. Rigid thinking can limit a person's potential and I think, in general, diversity is becoming more recognised as a positive factor - but there still is a lot to go. 

I'm seeing a trend in this thread, that authenticity, respecting/ valuing diversity and community are important values for people to aspire to be a good person.