Sexuality and gender identity

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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
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Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
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Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Gruffudd World AIDS Day
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World AIDS Day is on December 1st. It has been around a while now, most of my lifetime. My first friend to became positive was when I was in university back in the year 2000. It was a bit of a shock then partly because of all the messages about it be... View more

World AIDS Day is on December 1st. It has been around a while now, most of my lifetime. My first friend to became positive was when I was in university back in the year 2000. It was a bit of a shock then partly because of all the messages about it being a death sentence but also because none of us were thinking about it and it could have been any of us that got it. The good news is that he is still around the place and has become rather good at downing tablets. Personally I don't know anyone in the queer community not touched by this in some way. Recently with PREP and that with medication the viral load can be managed so that there is minimal risk of passing it on have made the goal to end HIV transmission in this country by 2020 possible. That would be worth celebration. So December 1, leaves me thinking of that generation that we lost and all the positive people in our community, some of whom I am proud to have as friends regardless of where life has taken them. Rob.

Nuwan_P Creating negative thoughts without happen anything
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Hi, I am not sure exactly this is the correct forum to publish my matter. My topic related to starting close connection with a man. My sexuality is gay. Currently I am mentally getting very close with one guy who lives in a different state in Aus. Ma... View more

Hi, I am not sure exactly this is the correct forum to publish my matter. My topic related to starting close connection with a man. My sexuality is gay. Currently I am mentally getting very close with one guy who lives in a different state in Aus. May be this is my bad habit to expect reply from him to my messages or chat more daily with him. But if he get late to reply or couldn't able to chat with me, I start feeling very down, start creating reasons why he didn't reply. All the time he replys later or may be on the next day. But because of emotionally I am very attractive to that guy, I start feeling, all the negative sides, ex: does he start to ignore me, does he with someone else, doesn't he want me anymore, etc.. like all negative things. Sometime I feel this gives me hard time. After I talk or message with him later, all my mind get back to fully normal. any thought to handle this situation in effective way. Thanks

Gruffudd What makes you feel confident when dealing with people?
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I manage family programs at a non government agency. It probably wouldn't surprise that being genderqueer that I really want to make sure that LGBTI people feel confident in accessing the services we offer and in being themselves when doing so. I kno... View more

I manage family programs at a non government agency. It probably wouldn't surprise that being genderqueer that I really want to make sure that LGBTI people feel confident in accessing the services we offer and in being themselves when doing so. I know we can do more but it seems some simple things might help, like making sure we include LGBTI people in our program information where we are listing other groups that access our services, there is a rainbow flag on the door, we make it clear in when engaging families that we do not accept homophobia, we have images and stories of LGBTI people in our promotional material. Getting LGBTI themes in children stories used with families and in our child care programs seems to be a sensitive thing but not impossible... The organisation is supportive of making changes so any ideas or experiences (good and bad) will help me think about what I'm trying to do. Rob.

Gruffudd LGBTI cloths...
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In primary school I found out that gay people in the 50's wore white socks - on that day I threw out any socks that were not white. These days it is the sandy coloured shoes, jeans, white tshirt, and daringly pink hat. I still remember the thrill of ... View more

In primary school I found out that gay people in the 50's wore white socks - on that day I threw out any socks that were not white. These days it is the sandy coloured shoes, jeans, white tshirt, and daringly pink hat. I still remember the thrill of my first pride t-shirt, home made of course. Interesting how good it feels to wear something that feels a little gay.

Embracing_Tiger Movember, being a man and having a trans experience
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It is currently Movember: a month-long campaign that the Movember Foundation, a global men's health charity, raises money and promotes awareness of men's health issues, such as mental illness, testicular cancer, prostate cancer and physical inactivit... View more

It is currently Movember: a month-long campaign that the Movember Foundation, a global men's health charity, raises money and promotes awareness of men's health issues, such as mental illness, testicular cancer, prostate cancer and physical inactivity. Moustaches are grown, beards are shawn off. Some men grow their facial hair. Some men can't grow facial hair. A couple days ago, the Movember Foundation channel on youtube released a short doco "Jeremy Wiggins - Helping redefine what it means to be a man". Jeremy is a man with lived trans experience. His beard is a huge part of his masculine identity and when he shaved it off, he was "worried that [he] would feel more vulnerable". In an interview with The Star Observer, he said “I’ve always known in myself that I’ve felt like I was a boy, or man or male, but when I decided to transition and become a man I was really scared about how the world would respond." Everyone has different experiences and a different relationship with masculinity, their body and facial hair. For Jeremy, his masculinity is beyond the physical, and he thinks "that question [what it means to be a man] isn’t as relevant as it was in the past. Now it means being a good person who is aware of his behaviours, and the impact he has on others, as well as being authentic." What do you think it means to be human? ET

Gruffudd Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you?
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Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you? There was a time when I would have just to escape the negativity that some people have, and curiosity. Now though the answer is no, because despite everything if I chan... View more

Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you? There was a time when I would have just to escape the negativity that some people have, and curiosity. Now though the answer is no, because despite everything if I changed either I wouldn't be me anymore. When I make a list of the good stuff in my life, what I enjoy and what makes me happy, most of the things are related to being gay or gender queer. I feel kind of lucky.

lonly666 still confused
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Hi im a 34 year old bi male as much as I want to meet a women and start a family, I'm at the point the desire to be a woman is getting stronger. I'm not sure if I shouldgo the gp and speak about maybe a hormone levels

Hi im a 34 year old bi male as much as I want to meet a women and start a family, I'm at the point the desire to be a woman is getting stronger. I'm not sure if I shouldgo the gp and speak about maybe a hormone levels

Paul Religion + Sexuality = Guilt + Shame?
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Anything that differs from heterosexual missionary position sex for procreation is considered the work of the devil or deviant or dirty. Our parents and many others have probably made the odd remark about "those" acts or "that filth" - that can becom... View more

Anything that differs from heterosexual missionary position sex for procreation is considered the work of the devil or deviant or dirty. Our parents and many others have probably made the odd remark about "those" acts or "that filth" - that can become an unhealthy reverberation in our heads. Why should religion dictate who I have sex with, how I do it, why I do it and how I express my sexuality, let alone how I feel about my sexuality and gender expression? Paul

justinok Share a microaggression.
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Microaggressions are like paper cuts, they are the little bits of shit we have to put up with everyday. The people saying them might not even realise how hurtful or dismissive they are actually being. I thought I might share some sexuality based ones... View more

Microaggressions are like paper cuts, they are the little bits of shit we have to put up with everyday. The people saying them might not even realise how hurtful or dismissive they are actually being. I thought I might share some sexuality based ones that I have heard, maybe you might like to share some too that have wound you up: 1. Being told that I am like "one of the girls" because I'm a gay man 2. Having my sexual orientation referred to as my sexual "preference" 3. Being told that I don't look or sound "gay" and having that intended as a compliment 4. Why isn't there a "straight pride" parade? 5. On if I ever got to marry my partner, which one of us would wear the dress

Paul GLBTI relationships -less rights than married folks.
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Why do we need marriage equality anyway - we have the same rights as married couples. CRAP! I read an article that detailed two guys who had been in a relationship for 5 years. One of the guys took his own life. He was estranged from his family. Once... View more

Why do we need marriage equality anyway - we have the same rights as married couples. CRAP! I read an article that detailed two guys who had been in a relationship for 5 years. One of the guys took his own life. He was estranged from his family. Once the death had been reported, the deceased's partner was locked out. He couldn't view his lover's body as he wasn't recognised as next of kin. The mother took over despite there being tension and the family relationship having ended. The surviving partner was not allowed at the funeral, wasn't welcome to help with his lover's possessions and was effectively shut out. How can we begin to grieve when this happens? what if it's one of us who suffers depression and it sends us in a spin or a panic? This is bullshit and the right wing bible thumping government must act. What do you think? Paul