Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

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Pinned discussions

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Paul How do you identify?
  • replies: 3

I'm wondering if some of our topics are difficult for people whose triggers are sexuality, labels and the thought of someone finding out about them. Seeing as this is a safe place for us all to express how we feel; How do you identify? "Straight but ... View more

I'm wondering if some of our topics are difficult for people whose triggers are sexuality, labels and the thought of someone finding out about them. Seeing as this is a safe place for us all to express how we feel; How do you identify? "Straight but experimenting and confused" is completely OK we don't mind or judge! Is sex or sexuality a trigger for you? Would you like to share further thoughts and feelings about your triggers or bad experience? Paul

Gruffudd Genderbread - on a scale of...
  • replies: 5

So this seems to be a useful thing for some, interesting too... There is no answer that is right or wrong, but sometimes it can be good to do this and know that there are plenty of others out there who identify your way. 1. Gender identity is what yo... View more

So this seems to be a useful thing for some, interesting too... There is no answer that is right or wrong, but sometimes it can be good to do this and know that there are plenty of others out there who identify your way. 1. Gender identity is what you are on the inside it is what is in your head. So on a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is Female and 5 is Male, and there in the middle is Genderqueer, where would you be? Me, I'm a 3. 2. Then there is gender expression and that is what you do, how you are in the world. On the scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is Feminine and 5 is Masculine and in the middle is Androgynous, where would you be? Me, Im on 4. 3. We are up to biology, the physical stuff you were born with. On the scale of 1 to 5, Female is number 1 and Male is 5 with Intersex in the middle. There I am a 5. 4. Now for orientation, who you are attracted to. It can get complicated next to gender identity so just go with what seems to fit for you. On the scale of 1 to 5 we have heterosexual at 1 and homosexual at 5 with Bisexual people in the middle. Where would you be? I feel like I'm a 5 but then some days I'm not even on that scale at all.

TheStarlightCrow Coming Out Take 2
  • replies: 13

I came out as transgender to my mum when I was 16. She didn't take it well. I was told that I'm confused. My dad said we needed to get away from our rural town and away from all the drugs that are present here. I've never touched drugs in my life, de... View more

I came out as transgender to my mum when I was 16. She didn't take it well. I was told that I'm confused. My dad said we needed to get away from our rural town and away from all the drugs that are present here. I've never touched drugs in my life, despite being surrounded by chronic users. For 6 years, I've swept it under the rug, kept it hidden deep inside a part of myself that I only unleash in the safety of dreams, because then I can't consciously keep it locked up. I've bided my time, waited until I can be sure I can support myself, regardless of what the reaction would be. It was going well. I got a part time job and began taking control of my Social Anxiety Disorder. My brother said something to me that made a crack in this mental plan I was so reliant on. I was sitting at my computer, gaming. He sat on the edge of my bed with that lop-sided grin of his and asked if I wanted to have my birthday party at his block. The conversation went as expected. "You were meant to be a boy," he then said to me. My heart froze, raced and skipped a beat all at the same time. What did he mean by that? I asked him this, of course. He simply repeated himself, still grinning. I'm not sure if he was joking or being serious. That one statement gave me hope, fear, anxiety and strength, in varying levels. So now, two days away from turning 22, I feel like I'm that 16 year old again, mustering the courage to thrust myself into the unsavory spotlight of being different from what everyone has thought, has known about me all my life. I've learned my lesson. Take it slow. Be calm. Be sure. Prepare. And don't let them take my right to be who I really am. Is there anybody else here, in rural WA in particular, that faces or has faced a similar situation?

Paul What do you "use" to escape?
  • replies: 8

Hi All, Some of us use alcohol, drugs and sex to escape painful emotions or to delay feeling them or even to try to make them go away. Do you use anything (not asking you to blurt about illicit substance use in open forum if you don't want to) to esc... View more

Hi All, Some of us use alcohol, drugs and sex to escape painful emotions or to delay feeling them or even to try to make them go away. Do you use anything (not asking you to blurt about illicit substance use in open forum if you don't want to) to escape? Does it work? Paul

Paul Have you told anyone you are Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgender or Intersex?
  • replies: 2

Keeping a secret about your sexuality can be the source of so many emotions and confusion. These are governed by how we see ourselves and how we predict others will judge us or how others have reacted. Having depression or anxiety can make this huge,... View more

Keeping a secret about your sexuality can be the source of so many emotions and confusion. These are governed by how we see ourselves and how we predict others will judge us or how others have reacted. Having depression or anxiety can make this huge, scary and confusing! (even not having depression and anxiety can!) Have you got a secret about coming out that burns you up and you'd like to get off your chest in the anonymous forum? I can promise you that no one is going to try and change you or make you try on a sequened vest and chaps. Paul

Gruffudd A totally gay day
  • replies: 3

Saturday was a totally gay day. Just what I needed to make me feel better, a day where everyone around me and everything I did and saw and experienced was gay. It doesn't come together like that very often. I started with Crêpes and Breakfast at Tiff... View more

Saturday was a totally gay day. Just what I needed to make me feel better, a day where everyone around me and everything I did and saw and experienced was gay. It doesn't come together like that very often. I started with Crêpes and Breakfast at Tiffany's, then went for a drive out to the valley where I used to live, I found the Village People, ABBA, Steps and John Barrowman in the car and got lost in the uncomplicated joy of listening and even sang along a little. When I stopped for petrol the boy at the BP was painting his fingernails and was charmingly camp, another reason to smile. My old neighbour still uses pink sheep dip, such fun. Then dinner at a restaurant with the most distracting Italian waiter ever, they had the show tunes on and he couldn't help but join in. After that I arrived home and took to the couch with my knitting and watched my Beautiful Laundrette. Then I fell asleep dreaming of the day, such a beautiful day. Best day ever.

Gruffudd Am I one of the undateables?
  • replies: 10

I'm wondering if those little things that make me different also make me undateable. I have tried to make a list. There is plenty to put on it, mostly the things that annoy me though. The big one would be the mental health about half of my life has b... View more

I'm wondering if those little things that make me different also make me undateable. I have tried to make a list. There is plenty to put on it, mostly the things that annoy me though. The big one would be the mental health about half of my life has been spent in depression, but it could be worse, there is the other half, and it is rather predictable, and there are drugs which I complain about even though they work. Then there is the sex thing. I never have been all that excited about it and can't figure out wether that was because of being sexually assaulted or if I am just like that. But, I know it is not always central to a relationship. All of the usual things are there like old, bald, more fat than I used to be... Perhaps it is just because I live in the country, but then it wasn't any better in the city. I can't dance, too awkward and hate loud music. Perhaps it is because I drive a french car, I do love a Renault.

Gruffudd Please Like Me
  • replies: 2

So, who is watching Please Like Me? I quite like having something on the teledu with characters that I can relate to... How often do we get something that deals with mental health and has gay characters that are not tragic? Actually they are a little... View more

So, who is watching Please Like Me? I quite like having something on the teledu with characters that I can relate to... How often do we get something that deals with mental health and has gay characters that are not tragic? Actually they are a little inspiring. I rather like the way that so often the rather daggy becomes fun. That I spent time in a psychiatric unit doesn't seem so bad, because when I think about it I really liked the others in there and the way we accepted each other, laughed when it was funny, sometimes were just quietly there when others were not doing well... I wonder what happened to all those kids. It took me way too long to figure out that each episode is named after food and that the recipes features in the opening credits. Rob.

Paul Pets and Depression
  • replies: 7

For a lot of GLBTI folks, our pets are family. (Yes Maggie you're Daddy's girl) Sorry - my cat gave me a look! I saw a very moving animation on facebook the other day. It is of a girl sitting in her bedroom on the floor with her head on her folded ar... View more

For a lot of GLBTI folks, our pets are family. (Yes Maggie you're Daddy's girl) Sorry - my cat gave me a look! I saw a very moving animation on facebook the other day. It is of a girl sitting in her bedroom on the floor with her head on her folded arms which are resting on her knees. She's clearly upset. Her cat walks in and pushes its way through her folded arms and gives her a big snuggle. It's so beautiful. Do you have a pet that provides you comfort when you're feeling down? Paul

Paul Being Brave
  • replies: 5

"Living a brave life means living the life you want and even if it's not always perfect or you have made mistakes along the way, you were brave enough to try." - Tabatha Coffee -

"Living a brave life means living the life you want and even if it's not always perfect or you have made mistakes along the way, you were brave enough to try." - Tabatha Coffee -