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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Paul New year predictions...
  • replies: 3

Everyone makes a new year's "resolution". Everyone has new year hopes, but what do you predict for yourself? Let's make our own new year predictions which are a hybrid of hopes, dreams and resolutions. They aren't as powerful as fairy dust but still ... View more

Everyone makes a new year's "resolution". Everyone has new year hopes, but what do you predict for yourself? Let's make our own new year predictions which are a hybrid of hopes, dreams and resolutions. They aren't as powerful as fairy dust but still more powerful than angel sweat mopped off a treadmill.

Paul David Bowie - pioneer for making people think about gender identity?
  • replies: 2

Another amazing talent now shines as a star in the sky. David Bowie seemed to push gender boundaries in a natural way, not just for the theatrics. Do you think he helped everyday people start to think about gender in a different way? Paul

Another amazing talent now shines as a star in the sky. David Bowie seemed to push gender boundaries in a natural way, not just for the theatrics. Do you think he helped everyday people start to think about gender in a different way? Paul

Heather2 Transgender girl's life and unlucky in love with straight guy.. I'm depressed :( :(
  • replies: 10

Hello everyone!! My name is Heather, I live in Perth. I'm 26 years old and I'm a transgender girl. And here is my story: I have met a guy who I find attractive in Casino. While I was sitting in the smoking area, he came and said hello to me. Then we ... View more

Hello everyone!! My name is Heather, I live in Perth. I'm 26 years old and I'm a transgender girl. And here is my story: I have met a guy who I find attractive in Casino. While I was sitting in the smoking area, he came and said hello to me. Then we had a chat and after a while I did let him know about who I am, he was quiet for a moment and he told me that he find me very attractive, he said he is completely straight and we have no future. We hanged out and spent time together that night, about midnight we decided to have sex. We also asked for phone numbers each other. Then I went home and slept, after I woke up, I tried to contact him but he never got back to me. I was very sad. I felt down a lot because I really like him and want to be his girlfriend but sadly nothing happened after that.. About 2 weeks later, it was the same scenarios again happened to me. I saw him again at same place, I tried to ignore him but he still came and ask me "Are you ok?". In fact, I have been thinking of him everyday and still like him a lot so I kept talking to him again. After a while then he asked me "What date is today?" and he showed me his driver license and I was surprise cause it was his birthday. I got him some drinks for his birthday and we enjoyed the night together. And once again we had sex for second time. As same as first time, he disappeared again in next day even I tried to contact to him. I felt like I'm not respected by him, I felt so hurt and painful.. About 10 weeks later, the old scenarios happened again to me. I was sleeping in bed, about midnight, he called me and said that he wanted to see me, he asked me to come for a drink and chat to him. Actually, it was my birthday, I don't think he knew it was until I told him. I also told him how I feel, he said sorry and hope that I could understand for him. He told me that he likes me a lot and he has thought of me sometimes too. I was really happy about what he said and I couldn't believe that we saw each other again in my birthday. It seems like we have fate to see each other. He got me some drinks for my birthday and we enjoyed the night together, we had sex for third time. And once again, he disappeared again in next day. I felt really disappointed, I can't get him out of my mind, I miss him but there is nothing I can do. I used to be a happy girl before I met him but right now I'm really sad and depressed. I would love to get some advice, nice to meet all of you by the way. Thanks for your time!

Smithsons Confused
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I'm in a dark and confusing place. I just don't know what to do anymore. When I was in 7th grade, I developed a crush on the girl I sat next to. I'm a boy, 20 now. We both had crushes on each other and became close friends. In year 8, we star... View more

Hi all, I'm in a dark and confusing place. I just don't know what to do anymore. When I was in 7th grade, I developed a crush on the girl I sat next to. I'm a boy, 20 now. We both had crushes on each other and became close friends. In year 8, we started dating. Over the following years, we just became closer and closer, and fell more in love with each other. I know it sounds cheesy, but she was my everything. When I was in High School, I noticed I was also attracted to men. I felt a bit like a coward for never opening up to her about it, but honestly, it just didn’t seem that important when I was with her. I just got so lost in the relationship I had with this girl, that me finding men attractive just didn’t seem an issue. Eventually, the guilt of my sexuality was getting to me. When I was around her, thoughts like "if she knew the real you, she wouldn’t be with you, you robbed this girl of 6 years of her life” would paralyse me. I felt massive amounts of guilt and anxiety. I came out to her a month ago as Bi. I told her because I wanted her to know me, down to my core. I also felt she deserved to know. She accepted me completely. She said it isn’t a big deal or a defining characteristic of who I am and that I’m still the same person she fell in love with. Things are just different now. Most of the time when I see her, I still feel anxious, but no longer guilty. It just feels like something’s missing between us and we’re not connecting like we used to. I started hating myself and my life. I was irritable to everyone and doing regular things made me feel anxious. Sometimes I cried for no reason, and I've just felt down most of the time. Lately when I’m around her, it just doesn’t feel right, it feels like I shouldn’t be there and like the relationship just isn’t working. When she went through depression last year, she tried breaking up with me five times. Since getting over her depression though, we became the happiest we’d been in our entire relationship. She tells me that now I’m depressed and that’s what’s making me feel this way, it isn’t how I really feel. Sometimes when I’m with her, it feels like old times. Like nothing’s changed, and we click. But whenever this happens a voice just enters my head at some stage, telling me I’m only happy because I’m distracted and ignoring how I really feel. Am I depressed or is my relationship just ending? I don't get it, why does it feel like it should end, but then the idea of ending it upsets me so much?

SilverHair Conflicting thoughts in a sense, and gender identity issues
  • replies: 6

I'm 15, still in high school and I when I'm by myself I feel nothing. It's like I don't matter in the world and I can't be bothered to do anything so I stay in my room. But if I do that for too long I start becoming really sad and alone, and I start ... View more

I'm 15, still in high school and I when I'm by myself I feel nothing. It's like I don't matter in the world and I can't be bothered to do anything so I stay in my room. But if I do that for too long I start becoming really sad and alone, and I start thinking really terrible things, like hurting people around me and harming myself in various ways just to see what it's like. And that's only a tiny bit of what I feel like/think. It can get a lot worse, but I never show anyone that side of me, because I want them to think that I'm ok and that I can help them while also keep my life on track. In reality I just know that I'm worthless, I don't deserve anything at all, and I always tell myself that even if something bad happened to me, not many people would care, and even those who did once will forget quickly about me. I also have gender identity issues, which isn't actually making my life feel worse really, but in a way it does. I know that my best friend would accept me no matter what, she already accepts me even though I'm Demisexual/Possibly Panromantic which means everything to me. But my parents don't believe that a person can have no gender, and just be a person, which is what I think I am. I like being masculine but I wouldn't call myself a guy. Someone online once mentioned about neutrois gender I think that fits me, because I don't think I have a gender, and for some reason when I think of myself as Agender, it feels weird and wrong (Sorry if that's rude to Agender people). I can't tell my family this because they have such high expectations of me. They want me to live a successful live and to be academically smart all because I was a 'genius' in primary school. And my brother also has lots of mental issues and that costs my family a lot of money for medication and I don't want to be more of a burden than I already am. I'll probably never tell them how I feel, but in some weird way I guess I'd by fine with that. Once my best friend convinced me to go to the schools councillor, and I went for about 4 sessions till she said that she should call my mum about it. I got so scared cause I thought my mum would be so dissapointed with me cause I didn't tell her about it, and she was. I stopped going and I never will go back, I pretend that I'm fine now even though I stay up at night thinking of ways to hurt myself by hitting my friends, I would never go through with though, because my friends mean everything to me. Thank you for reading.

6string Accelting myself as a Gay man
  • replies: 4

Hi there, my name is Mike! Hope you're all well i came out to my parents about 3 years ago now and I've been up and down with my emotions ever since. It wasn't the easiest thing to do and I don't imagine it is easy on anyone else. I'm currently suffe... View more

Hi there, my name is Mike! Hope you're all well i came out to my parents about 3 years ago now and I've been up and down with my emotions ever since. It wasn't the easiest thing to do and I don't imagine it is easy on anyone else. I'm currently suffering from anxiety and am going to see a lady from Headspace in Fremantle to discuss things with her. I also have my wonderful family and I'm actually great friends with my ex boyfriend. he has supported me immensely throughout my ordeal and still does to this day but unfortunately it didn't work out between us. Having been in a relationship with him and going through all the same emotions as any hetro couple, I realize that love knows no gender. Two males or two females can still love each other, support each other and take care of each other like any other couple out there. The reason it didn't work out with my and my ex is because for a couple of reasons; he was much younger than me and even though we cared for each other, our conversation skills weren't that good. has anybody else been through this and would like to share their opinion. I'm in the mind frame at the moment that I want to be back with him but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. thankyou

Gruffudd Midsummer, Mardi Gras, and Pride
  • replies: 3

Midsummer is happening fairly soon in Melbourne. I have had mixed experiences at Pride events, from feeling included to on the outer. It probably helps to go with people I guess, and some of the festival events are a way better option. I'm wondering ... View more

Midsummer is happening fairly soon in Melbourne. I have had mixed experiences at Pride events, from feeling included to on the outer. It probably helps to go with people I guess, and some of the festival events are a way better option. I'm wondering about the experience others have engaging with these community events and am considering heading north or south this year...

lonly666 confused
  • replies: 15

Hi I'm a 34 bi male sometimes I want to be with a women other times I want to be with a male other times I want to be a woman and able to have kids

Hi I'm a 34 bi male sometimes I want to be with a women other times I want to be with a male other times I want to be a woman and able to have kids

Gruffudd Ageing
  • replies: 3

I have noticed wrinkles, grey, and soft skin, don't mind too much. It is way too early but I would admit to a fear of aged care. Right now though I think there is an adjustment to mot being young anymore, I am approaching 40 and that feels really wei... View more

I have noticed wrinkles, grey, and soft skin, don't mind too much. It is way too early but I would admit to a fear of aged care. Right now though I think there is an adjustment to mot being young anymore, I am approaching 40 and that feels really weird, in some ways I still think of myself as being nineteen or twenty and I really am not. I sort of wonder what is going to become of me.

Gruffudd Old, bald, fat, and ugly...
  • replies: 6

My image of myself could be better. I have really lacked confidence unless wearing a hat since I became noticeably bald at the age of 20. It is the horse shoe of hair type of baldness, I feel like the light reflects of my head and it is all anyone se... View more

My image of myself could be better. I have really lacked confidence unless wearing a hat since I became noticeably bald at the age of 20. It is the horse shoe of hair type of baldness, I feel like the light reflects of my head and it is all anyone sees as it blinds them, and they think of me as being old and inept or sick. The last decade has seen me put on about 15kg so that I am at the top end of the healthy weight range (it won't kill me) and overtime I sit in the car the seat belt fits under a roll of fat. I can't see myself without at least a tshirt to cover it and it can't hide the problem. I'm not getting any younger either, it seems that I am positively middle aged right down to being able to buy the car that I actually wanted when I was at university. And ugly speaks for itself really... OK had my whinge. Thanks.