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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Gruffudd Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you?
  • replies: 4

Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you? There was a time when I would have just to escape the negativity that some people have, and curiosity. Now though the answer is no, because despite everything if I chan... View more

Just wondering, if you could change your sexuality or gender identity, would you? There was a time when I would have just to escape the negativity that some people have, and curiosity. Now though the answer is no, because despite everything if I changed either I wouldn't be me anymore. When I make a list of the good stuff in my life, what I enjoy and what makes me happy, most of the things are related to being gay or gender queer. I feel kind of lucky.

lonly666 still confused
  • replies: 2

Hi im a 34 year old bi male as much as I want to meet a women and start a family, I'm at the point the desire to be a woman is getting stronger. I'm not sure if I shouldgo the gp and speak about maybe a hormone levels

Hi im a 34 year old bi male as much as I want to meet a women and start a family, I'm at the point the desire to be a woman is getting stronger. I'm not sure if I shouldgo the gp and speak about maybe a hormone levels

Paul Religion + Sexuality = Guilt + Shame?
  • replies: 10

Anything that differs from heterosexual missionary position sex for procreation is considered the work of the devil or deviant or dirty. Our parents and many others have probably made the odd remark about "those" acts or "that filth" - that can becom... View more

Anything that differs from heterosexual missionary position sex for procreation is considered the work of the devil or deviant or dirty. Our parents and many others have probably made the odd remark about "those" acts or "that filth" - that can become an unhealthy reverberation in our heads. Why should religion dictate who I have sex with, how I do it, why I do it and how I express my sexuality, let alone how I feel about my sexuality and gender expression? Paul

justinok Share a microaggression.
  • replies: 2

Microaggressions are like paper cuts, they are the little bits of shit we have to put up with everyday. The people saying them might not even realise how hurtful or dismissive they are actually being. I thought I might share some sexuality based ones... View more

Microaggressions are like paper cuts, they are the little bits of shit we have to put up with everyday. The people saying them might not even realise how hurtful or dismissive they are actually being. I thought I might share some sexuality based ones that I have heard, maybe you might like to share some too that have wound you up: 1. Being told that I am like "one of the girls" because I'm a gay man 2. Having my sexual orientation referred to as my sexual "preference" 3. Being told that I don't look or sound "gay" and having that intended as a compliment 4. Why isn't there a "straight pride" parade? 5. On if I ever got to marry my partner, which one of us would wear the dress

Paul GLBTI relationships -less rights than married folks.
  • replies: 4

Why do we need marriage equality anyway - we have the same rights as married couples. CRAP! I read an article that detailed two guys who had been in a relationship for 5 years. One of the guys took his own life. He was estranged from his family. Once... View more

Why do we need marriage equality anyway - we have the same rights as married couples. CRAP! I read an article that detailed two guys who had been in a relationship for 5 years. One of the guys took his own life. He was estranged from his family. Once the death had been reported, the deceased's partner was locked out. He couldn't view his lover's body as he wasn't recognised as next of kin. The mother took over despite there being tension and the family relationship having ended. The surviving partner was not allowed at the funeral, wasn't welcome to help with his lover's possessions and was effectively shut out. How can we begin to grieve when this happens? what if it's one of us who suffers depression and it sends us in a spin or a panic? This is bullshit and the right wing bible thumping government must act. What do you think? Paul

dgh71 Will it ever be my turn?
  • replies: 9

I am hurting pretty badly at the moment. I came out two years ago when I was 41 and after 2 years I am still no closer to having a partner, of having any sort of encounter with a person of the same sex. I dont want a casual hookup but would rather ha... View more

I am hurting pretty badly at the moment. I came out two years ago when I was 41 and after 2 years I am still no closer to having a partner, of having any sort of encounter with a person of the same sex. I dont want a casual hookup but would rather have a loving relationship...but therein lies the [roblem....no one likes me at all in that way in the slightest. because i want to have a relationship, any sort of sexual activity would come about after getting to know the person...but by the time I get to know them, they turna round and say that I am now in the 'friend zone'. How on earth am I ever supposed to find someone to love me if I just get shoved in that hole everytime? I even tried to organise a one night fling with one of them and I still got rejected. All around me I see people falling in love with their soulmates and I cant even get someone to share one night with, even just for a casual hookup I am really scared that no one will ever even want to hold me hand or just tell me that they love me. I know i am a good person..all my friends tell me I am the nicest guy ever....yet no one wants me at all. Ever I dont begrudge anyone their happiness at all..I am genuinely happy for them but i just wish the happiness could be spread in my direction for just once. I ask so little of God or the Universe or whatever you want to call it, but even my siple requests are totally ignored and it feels like God does his damnedest to make sure the things I so wish and dream of DONT happen. he finds every conceivable way to shove it up me whenever he can....and then I realise that even God doesnt want me or even care about me ...for if he did he would have given me something to cling to...but he doesnt...he is too busy looking after everyone else. I have been to counselling and have been doing positive affirmations everyday for over six months now and really really trying to feel better about myself..but all that ever happens in reality is me getting the rough end of the stick all the time whilst always doing everything to be there for everyone else. I want my turn

Just_me_again Sexuality? I dont know...
  • replies: 3

This is my first post. I dont really know what to do or say so I'll just start where ever.I meet a girl in the year above me during drama elective and we started talking. We because pretty good friends after finding out we had a lot in common. Drama ... View more

This is my first post. I dont really know what to do or say so I'll just start where ever.I meet a girl in the year above me during drama elective and we started talking. We because pretty good friends after finding out we had a lot in common. Drama was shut down due to lack of intrest from other studwnts but we continued to talk. She seemed upset one day so i tried to help her out and somewhere in the conversation she told me she got a girlfriend. Now I'm trying to be happy for her and help her out but im finding it hard to talk to her without wanting to cry. I'd been thinking about my sexuality for a while and i wasnt sure. But now I'm even more confused as I didnt realise the extent of my feelings for this girl. Although ive never been in a relationship ive been interested in guys before so i thought i was straight. This girl has completely confused me and i dont know what to think. I dont have anyone to talk to as I dont have family to talk to and ive never been close enough with anyone to discuss this. The only person i could talk to is her but i dont want to cause friction in her relationship as shes been suffering bad anxiety and depression and im aware that this relationship is helping her recover. But now im left asking... what about me?? Im so happy for her and i dont want any trouble for her but what am i supposed to do? I cant pretend forever. I know i should tell someone but how can I begin to talk about this when i dont even know what i am. Im getting desperate now and really need some advise. According to her ive been getting worse. She knows im bad with coping with depressive thoughts and i usually just begin to ignore everyone and everything, leading to depressive states that can last up to a month. I need help but i dont know what to do. I would really appreciate any advise that you can give. Thank you...

SwansFan Labels
  • replies: 6

Anyone feel dissatisfied with the whole gay/straight dichotomy? Ever since I "came out" -- something I still can't even say without the air quotes -- I haven't felt any real reassurance or comfort. I thought once people came out, it got a lot easier ... View more

Anyone feel dissatisfied with the whole gay/straight dichotomy? Ever since I "came out" -- something I still can't even say without the air quotes -- I haven't felt any real reassurance or comfort. I thought once people came out, it got a lot easier for them. But I still feel confused. I don't feel a connection at all to the gay community. I have no gay friends. I know I'm more gay than I am straight. But then again, I don't necessarily want to be with a dude. I don't particularly see myself with anyone to be honest. I'd say I'm asexual but that doesn't feel right either. I know labels aren't the best thing -- you are who you are and all that -- but sometimes I wish one applied to me....

ewart The Insecurities That Depression Feeds On
  • replies: 5

I have a diagnosis of Psychotic Depression which was a bit of a shock. I was a competent professional for many years but now a pathetic shell of a once proud person. I care full time for my elderly Mum (94) which gives me purpose and satisfaction alt... View more

I have a diagnosis of Psychotic Depression which was a bit of a shock. I was a competent professional for many years but now a pathetic shell of a once proud person. I care full time for my elderly Mum (94) which gives me purpose and satisfaction although it is getting harder as her needs become greater, but I'll stick it to the end. I am a 60 year old gay male who left a very long term relationship a couple of years back. I live in a very small country town nowadays after many years in FNQ. I met someone here a couple of years ago and still see the person on a fairly regular basis. This person feeds my insecurity of me needing to be cared about. He is much younger than me and I have become emotionally attached to a pointless relationship albeit a wonderful person. I guess I have kept his interest by providing financial assistance of a substantial amount which I can't afford. Can't believe I have arrived at this point in my life. A raft of insecurities that torment me daily makes life challenging. Funnily enough, I dont need or seek pity, I have a supportive loving family who try hard but don't understand me and I don't expect them to. Once an energetic and outgoing man, now a social recluse. Mental health, so impotant, so misunderstood. Thanks for listening whoever you are. Do your best everyone.

Matisse_ Why is 'comming out' so hard?
  • replies: 6

So, I'm sure I'm bisexual and have been my whole life. I'm totally okay with liking both genders, gender doesn't matter to me. In fact I wouldn't mind calling myself a pansexual to be more precise! I'm usually an outgoing person and isn't usually ner... View more

So, I'm sure I'm bisexual and have been my whole life. I'm totally okay with liking both genders, gender doesn't matter to me. In fact I wouldn't mind calling myself a pansexual to be more precise! I'm usually an outgoing person and isn't usually nervous, except I've always been good at keeping secrets. I want my friends and family to know I'm bisexual but I have a feeling that it would be awkward with my family, though they would be totally accepting of it, I have a feeling it will start off rocky- with my friends too. And I don't want to be the talk of the town that I'm bi. I just want people to accept it and not bother over it but I'm, to be honest, a little scared. I don't want girls thinking that I will like them just because they are a girl and that touching me is gross or something. What's some advice to give me confidence, should I except something or nothing at all? Have you been in a similar situation because I really want to stop keeping this a secret, help.