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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Ouroboros A disturbing truth about how I'm choosing my psychologists
  • replies: 3

Hello all, I've recently started again to re-examine my mental health after I bout of suicidal thoughts and general feelings of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, triggering memories of some painful experiences. I've written somewhere else I'm curre... View more

Hello all, I've recently started again to re-examine my mental health after I bout of suicidal thoughts and general feelings of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, triggering memories of some painful experiences. I've written somewhere else I'm currently having a long process of choosing a psychologist but I noticed a terrible pattern in my choice but also want to reject it because its comfortable. I'm a same-sex attracted male, and always felt more comfortable talking to men in psychological sessions (I've dealt with some absolutely excellent female psychologists and counsellors but I find I am more relaxed in these sessions with men).Well sadly I often choose my psychologists partially on a physical level based on their attractiveness. I have done the same with doctors in the past. I hate admitting it because it seems ridiculously shallow and its not that I want to pursue any relationship with them or anything like that. But I am finding I'm basing a lot of my opinions on physical appearance. I don't know really what to do, I should break this as its probably some behaviour pattern of my personality disorder and they're a surrogate for a relationship I don't have or a White Knight type character. But also I don't trust my own judgement and agency in choosing a psychologist in the first place and I'm finding doctors are not assisting me successfully or I'm perceiving they do not want to help me due to maybe my behaviour and this stupid idea I want some handsome man to save me. Its a ridiculous aspect and not something I'm proud of at all. Thank you for being understanding

Mack_ Engaged and confused
  • replies: 11

Hello, I'm a 26 yo female, and in a serious relationship with a male. We got engaged 6 months ago, and honestly I am so happy. I would be devastated if anything were to happy between us. The issue is, I've always had crushes on girls - never really a... View more

Hello, I'm a 26 yo female, and in a serious relationship with a male. We got engaged 6 months ago, and honestly I am so happy. I would be devastated if anything were to happy between us. The issue is, I've always had crushes on girls - never really acted on them though and never dated a female. But have had some intense feelings (emotionally and physically) towards females. Last year I went on contiki with my fiancé and really let loose. I stopped taking my antidepressants for 8 weeks (duration of the trip) and just honestly had the time of my life! No reality, no bills, literally NO STRESS!! So, I Ended up making out with a few girls and let out my curiosities, my partner was aware I had kissed these girls but was confused also. I very briefly explained it (I'm terrible with speaking my emotions for fear of everything) was just fun and I have always been more pansexual I guess than actually in to a specific gender. He was okay with it - I guess he figured it was "a phase" because I kind of shrugged it off. However, this past weekend I met up with a few of the girls from that trip, and there's been one girl I'm into since the trip - she's so different, and I feel like she's all the things I wish I could be (happy, comfortable within herself, hippy-like, no stress, no mortgage, no bills, open about her sexuality and thoughts etc etc) I stayed at her place and the entire weekend just wanted to act on my feelings. We've both (her and I) have felt intense sexual energy since the trip last year. Now I'm home, back to reality and don't know what to think. I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling because I fear it'll ruin my relationship with my fiancé whom I really love dearly and have a life set up with. I know it's normal to fantasize, and I really feel my "crush" on her is a fantasy and because I can't act on it, it's just intensifying it all. Obviously the fact she feels the same way and can openly speak about it, makes it really hard for me too. Is it just wanting something i can't have? Should I speak to my fiancé about my feelings? I don't know what to do and have no one to speak to about this. Help or advice??

Smithsons Confused bisexual
  • replies: 12

Hi all, for those who don't know my story, long story short, I'm a 19 year old dude, been dating this girl for 6 years now. Hugely in love with her. She was my everything and I felt so happy and comfortable with her. However, for the entire time we d... View more

Hi all, for those who don't know my story, long story short, I'm a 19 year old dude, been dating this girl for 6 years now. Hugely in love with her. She was my everything and I felt so happy and comfortable with her. However, for the entire time we dated, I never told her about my attraction for men. I was so in denial about it all that I even convinced myself that that part of me wasn't even real, or that everyone felt the way I did-everyone was attracted to both sexes, and everyone was just in denial of the part that was least socially acceptable. This girl wasn't my method of proving a point, she never was.. I loved her for her. Still, I put so much emphasis on sexuality, even though right now deep down I'm not sure it's such an important thing. I tried, time and time again, to convince myself I was straight. Obviously it didn't work though. I was very confused, confused about my sexuality.. was I straight, gay? I felt different things at different times, but with this girl, it was always the same, I loved her. I recently came to the conclusion that I was bisexual, and in my head, the idea of me telling her (the first person to know anything about it) and me living guilt free, brought me immense happiness. But I guess I'm not comfortable at all with my sexuality, because since I've told her, things haven't been the same. We're still dating, but gee, we're hanging by a thread. It's not her, she was as awesome as awesome goes when I came out to her. She accepted me completely. But like I said, we're just not the same. I'm not happy anymore, even when I'm with her.. I just feel anxious around her, and it feels like something isn't right. About a month before I came out to her, I was hugely anxious about it all, and had a couple minor panic attacks, and since I've told her, I've been depressed. Three months down the track, and there's no improvement. Some days are obviously better than others, but overall it just hasn't been good. A close cousin of mine, who suffers from anxiety, believes I have it, too, and he thinks this is the cause for my unhappiness-with her and without her. I don't think he's totally wrong. I ALWAYS convince myself of the worst-my relationship is over, I'm going mental (giving me a panic attack), I have cancer, you're a threat to everyone around you. I know this is a big question, and I don't expect anyone to have the right answer, but what should I do?

Paul Midsumma Festival - your closing thoughts?
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone. Midsumma is about to finish. Did you participate in any of the celebrations or events? If you did, what was it like and did it have an impact on your depression or anxiety? Paul

Hi Everyone. Midsumma is about to finish. Did you participate in any of the celebrations or events? If you did, what was it like and did it have an impact on your depression or anxiety? Paul

Paul Sexual or sexuality triggers
  • replies: 29

Do you have any sexual or sexuality triggers that send you into a depression or give you anxiety? Paul

Do you have any sexual or sexuality triggers that send you into a depression or give you anxiety? Paul

Rosiiie Centrelink depression and anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm currently on youth allowance job seeker. I am transgender, homeless living in transitional housing and suffer from really bad anxiety, which causes me to become really depressed. I'm not sure what I can do, I currently go to headspace, but it... View more

Hi, I'm currently on youth allowance job seeker. I am transgender, homeless living in transitional housing and suffer from really bad anxiety, which causes me to become really depressed. I'm not sure what I can do, I currently go to headspace, but it hasn't been on a regular basics. But I have appointment this week with one of there private workers, because they think that's best because I have a lot going on. My gp suggested a antidepressant. I defiantly not a lazy person, it's just anxiety takes over me. And I've never felt this low ever. I just don't know my options, or even if I can do anything about it. Would I be eligible for disability allowance? The thought of being put at work in this stage of my life makes me even more deprest.

Heather2 Would straight guy take a serious relationship with full change transgender girl?
  • replies: 9

Hello gentlemen! As of what title says, would you take a serious relationship with transgender girl? And you also know that she has full change completely like a girl. This is a open topic so please don't hesitate to share what you think about that. ... View more

Hello gentlemen! As of what title says, would you take a serious relationship with transgender girl? And you also know that she has full change completely like a girl. This is a open topic so please don't hesitate to share what you think about that. Thank you for your time! Heather

Paul New year predictions...
  • replies: 3

Everyone makes a new year's "resolution". Everyone has new year hopes, but what do you predict for yourself? Let's make our own new year predictions which are a hybrid of hopes, dreams and resolutions. They aren't as powerful as fairy dust but still ... View more

Everyone makes a new year's "resolution". Everyone has new year hopes, but what do you predict for yourself? Let's make our own new year predictions which are a hybrid of hopes, dreams and resolutions. They aren't as powerful as fairy dust but still more powerful than angel sweat mopped off a treadmill.

Paul David Bowie - pioneer for making people think about gender identity?
  • replies: 2

Another amazing talent now shines as a star in the sky. David Bowie seemed to push gender boundaries in a natural way, not just for the theatrics. Do you think he helped everyday people start to think about gender in a different way? Paul

Another amazing talent now shines as a star in the sky. David Bowie seemed to push gender boundaries in a natural way, not just for the theatrics. Do you think he helped everyday people start to think about gender in a different way? Paul

Heather2 Transgender girl's life and unlucky in love with straight guy.. I'm depressed :( :(
  • replies: 10

Hello everyone!! My name is Heather, I live in Perth. I'm 26 years old and I'm a transgender girl. And here is my story: I have met a guy who I find attractive in Casino. While I was sitting in the smoking area, he came and said hello to me. Then we ... View more

Hello everyone!! My name is Heather, I live in Perth. I'm 26 years old and I'm a transgender girl. And here is my story: I have met a guy who I find attractive in Casino. While I was sitting in the smoking area, he came and said hello to me. Then we had a chat and after a while I did let him know about who I am, he was quiet for a moment and he told me that he find me very attractive, he said he is completely straight and we have no future. We hanged out and spent time together that night, about midnight we decided to have sex. We also asked for phone numbers each other. Then I went home and slept, after I woke up, I tried to contact him but he never got back to me. I was very sad. I felt down a lot because I really like him and want to be his girlfriend but sadly nothing happened after that.. About 2 weeks later, it was the same scenarios again happened to me. I saw him again at same place, I tried to ignore him but he still came and ask me "Are you ok?". In fact, I have been thinking of him everyday and still like him a lot so I kept talking to him again. After a while then he asked me "What date is today?" and he showed me his driver license and I was surprise cause it was his birthday. I got him some drinks for his birthday and we enjoyed the night together. And once again we had sex for second time. As same as first time, he disappeared again in next day even I tried to contact to him. I felt like I'm not respected by him, I felt so hurt and painful.. About 10 weeks later, the old scenarios happened again to me. I was sleeping in bed, about midnight, he called me and said that he wanted to see me, he asked me to come for a drink and chat to him. Actually, it was my birthday, I don't think he knew it was until I told him. I also told him how I feel, he said sorry and hope that I could understand for him. He told me that he likes me a lot and he has thought of me sometimes too. I was really happy about what he said and I couldn't believe that we saw each other again in my birthday. It seems like we have fate to see each other. He got me some drinks for my birthday and we enjoyed the night together, we had sex for third time. And once again, he disappeared again in next day. I felt really disappointed, I can't get him out of my mind, I miss him but there is nothing I can do. I used to be a happy girl before I met him but right now I'm really sad and depressed. I would love to get some advice, nice to meet all of you by the way. Thanks for your time!