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PDC
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I am a 56 yo woman who was married for 25 years. My ex husband decided when I was 50 he didn't love me anymore. I moved away. Meet a man who rocked my world. 4 years together through good times and bad he was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma. Many surgeries appt and medications plus finacial hardship his family took him back to NZ behind my back. I was his EPOA + EM. I was devestated as the first I knew was a post on FB. I do not get on with his family. I spoke with him several times but he ended up dying of ? Pnemonia. The family where rude to me as I did not go over. Many reason mainly I would have been on my own in another country. So I did not get to say goodbye. I work in healthcare and was restrictited with my movements. No last goodbye. No last kiss. No I'm sorry for this happening to you. I'm now on my own. Crying everyday..can't get out. Have not many close friends here. I'm alone and lonely. Why why does this happen to me. I'm shattered and do not feel well. Trying to continue to work. But what's the point.
6 Replies 6

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello PDC, and a warm welcome to the forums.

By having this type of cancer is shocking, as I too was power of attorney to an elderly friend years ago who died from this illness and it was so sad to watch him as it would have been for you, so when his family took him away from you is devastating.

Being able to give him a last kiss goodbye would have been a top priority and not able to do this would be heartbreaking, someone you loved and had cared for during these unfortunate times.

Whether or not you had the capacity to keep him with you is not up for discussion, however, as POA this should not have happened, but something that should have been talked about.

I wonder whether you have the strength to either talk to your doctor or perhaps to see someone, where you work as may be what's happened, has been circulating and I'm sure there will be people wanting to help you.

I hope you can get the help you need and look forward to hearing back from you.

Geoff.

PDC
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Not coping today. Can’t stop crying. Hate John for leaving me. Hate god for taking him. Hate his family for doing this to us. Am alone and lonely. If I died today no one would know until I didn’t show up for work. That’s how much people care. I am just wish I could close my eyes forever. Not worthy of this world. Will not find another love. Have nothing to offer anybody.

Hi PDC,

We can hear how much you’re struggling right now, but we are so glad that you have felt brave enough to share your thoughts and feelings here tonight. It sounds like you are feeling really overwhelmed with these feelings tonight, and we are so sorry that you're in such a tough space right now.  But please know that you’re not alone in this and that our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We are also currently getting in touch with you through email to offer some extra support.

When you feel up to it we encourage you to check back in here to let us know how you’re going.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear PDC~

I'll join Geoff and Sophie_M in welcoming here. At the moment life is terrible and I could give you the conventional words of sorrow and sympathy, but they, even though genuine, are just words on a screen.

Right now this time is the hardest part, and it is hard because of your loss, because the family was horrid and did not welcome you with open arms as so many families would, and you were far away when he died without a last kiss and goodby.

All these things leave you desolate, and doubting the worth of yourself and life. That's why it is hardest now.

So is that true - you have no worth? Look at waht you have done, you had the strenght and pride to walk out when your husband became no longer a husband in the true sense.Many would simply put up with it and felt worthless all the time.

Instead you had the confidence in yourself to give a new person love and receive it in return. To inspire such trust that he put his affairs and life in your hands.

You have all that still to offer, plus wisdom and experience, and you have a profession.

Life can be very cruel, the cancer, the loss and his family together are very hard to deal with .

It is easy right now to be overwhelmed, I know as I've been in a similar place with loss and powerlessness.

All the above are just logic and words at the moment, even though true, if thereis one thing you take from here today it is this:-

If you wish to close your eyes forever just grab a phone, I would use the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) as they are sensible, understand and listen with understanding - then help. You can be in contact with them more than once, and do not have to keep on explaining.

There is more to talk about: coping, work, the future. So please come back and talk some more. You are not alone

Croix

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello PDC, we do understand the struggle this has been for you and know the pain it is causing you but want to reach out to see how you are going at the moment.

It does concern us.

Take care.

Geoff.

Squirrell
Community Member

Hello PDC, I am truly sorry for your loss.It is totally understandable you are overwhelmed with grief . I felt like you a year ago and tried to handle it on my own but ended up in a bad state . I saw my GP who sent to a specialist . Through cognitive therapy and mediation I was get my anxiety and depression under control and now feel positive about the future .

I wish the same for you !

Take care ,wishing you love and life 💗