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Why cant I talk about it?

To_be_FREE
Community Member

I have been reading your amazing posts. I am in awe of how so many of you talk to your loved ones about this.

My family and friends have no idea what I go through. Ive never gone into it with them. I just cant. I know they wont understand because they are 'suck it up' kind of people.

I am so desperately lonely about not being able to discuss these matters. I dont really have friends just mates and colleagues. Even with my husband, he gets so frustrated with me and its lonely. I have never been able to say, 'hey today is hard please be kind'. I just get the eye rolling and whatevers. So I keep smiling but my heart is breaking.

I think it is so great that so many of you guys have a support network around you. So great. 🙂

3 Replies 3

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi To be Free 🙂

What an inspirational thread and thankyou so much! 🙂

The 'people' that say 'suck it up' and even worse 'move forward' wont know how you feel until they have the misfortune to experience the same feelings as you do (hopefully not)

Its like a footy player tearing a hamstring....it makes the news...Its really sad that we have to see an injury to believe it exists. We may have depression/anxiety but people just dont see the crutches we use every day.

I joined the forums 12 months ago after being made redundant from a well known national company that had the same 'suck it up' mentality. I was a senior manager and they found out I had difficulties in crowded exhibition centers and I was actually told they "wouldnt have hired me if they knew that I was suffering from anxiety and depression"

The forums are a non judgemental zone Free, but I am so very tired of people who actually choose to be ignorant

Welcome to the Beyond Blue Family 🙂

Your attitude is pro-active and I hope that your husband (with respect of course) never has to experience what we are going through.

You are amazing and thankyou for being part of Beyond Blue 🙂

my kindest thoughts

Paul

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello and welcome to the site.
I think what is annoying is when you want to open up to someone and start the conversation and they suddenly take over the discussion, by saying that they too think they too have depression, because they maybe upset over something minor, where in fact it's only about something that has nothing to do with depression, and when this happens it only cuts you off from talking.
This then makes it so difficult to ever think whether or not you are game enough to even want to talk to another person.
If however someone has the aptitude to come up to you and ask how you are going, then that's an indication that they may care about how you are going and want to talk, and I'm not talking about the everyday conversation where it's usual to ask someone how they are, because the two are completely different. Geoff.

H2Ohog
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi To Be FREE!

It isn't easy talking to family & friends about your depression. No one will ever understand how you feel and for me I had trouble finding the words. I have 2 sisters - one is a 'just get over it' kind of person and the other has been amazing but it has taken me years to get to the point of being able to speak to them about it.

I told my phycologist that my husband just didn't understand how I felt and I didn't have the words to express it. The best thing I ever did was take my husband with me to a session and for him to hear her say that its not as easy of just 'moving on'. It seemed to validate that I wasn't making it up or something! I also found that there is so much information out there for carers to get an understanding of what you're going through. Print some material from this site out for him and just ask him to read it. Don't hang around or start conversation. Just let him read it and sink in. I remember at one stage, I wrote him a letter explaining what was going on with me. I left it where he'd find it and wasn't home when he read it. This helped too. Every little bit of communication helps.

My husband is now my greatest support. But it took time.

Most importantly, don't hold yourself back by not talking at all. At the very least, be active on forums or peer support groups. Write a diary. Do whatever you have to in order to have a release and not bottle up and ignore how you are feeling.

Good Luck