When to end a friendship

[blues23]

I had a friend ( or what i thought was a friend) cross some lines asked “ suggested “ I send some pics like intimate pics of myself, I felt quite shocked as it was outta the blue although he has been asking 4 pics so I send him what I take pics of like for example birds trees wildlife ect things like nothing intimate like pic of me in my underwear. I didn’t/ haven’t responded as I’m like major icky  and it has given me major ick about it and feel physically I’ll at the thought of him like thinking of me in this way then he’s all like oh I’m googling sexy underwear on the internet and they are nice and i would look good in them . Like I’ve been friends with this guy for 8 years , we tried to date years ago but I wasn’t interested just wanted to be friends and occasionally he mentions like oh it’s a shame we didn’t have sex back then which really makes me feel bad about myself for not wanting to . is this toxic as all anything friendship?  I’m very sad bout it as I thought I could trust him or I had a friend like who wouldn’t hurt me but it has . I’s it a waste of time to salvage this friendship? .

im very much backing off from this guy  having some space as I feel so dirty about it all I just wonder why this happens like why does this happen ?

[mmMekitty]

Hello Blues23

Try asking yourself, how much does he respect what I've said about not being interested in dating or having an intimate relationship?

You could also try stating very plainly & clearly, you don't want to send pictures of yourself in your underwear, or partially dressed, or naked or even in swimwear. If he persists to want you to send such pictures, thenit is clear he does not respect you & what you don't want in your relationship, as a friend, with him.

Instead of sending more pictures of birds, dogs, trees, etc, tell him "no", & don't send pictures at all. Sending any pictures at all may give him the impression you are playing a little game, & maybe if he persists, you will give in & send the sort of pictures he wants, even though you don't want to ... which would make you feel terrible.

& think about what could he do if he had such pictures of you ???? They could end up anywhere. Personally, I would consider that before sending such pictures to anyone, even if I wanted to. It's a risky thing to do, because if the pictures end up online anywhere, they would be there forever for anyone to see & download.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

This friends thought are not abnormal,  his actions in asking you for intimate pictures is way out of line and definitely don't send any- EVER.

If he feels like his friendship with you could move towards romance there is far better, more appropriate ways to go about it. Saying it's a pity you both didn't have sex years ago seems to me he is seeing you as a sex object rather than a person that has values and personality.

All men have sexualising thoughts on women, it's normal, but if he respects you he will show it... he'll treat you like a princess.

If you don't see him in that way then let him down gently, try to keep the friendship but spread your wings and meet others.

TonyWK