What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[Guest_1584]

Well , l've found a technique to sleep again , well for the last 5 or 6 nights anyway bar one or two. Well it's just recycling the old one and using good dreams , which takes mostly whatever a good night sleep restores back anyway , but l think l'm a few hours ahead. lt won't work for much longer now though so l'm cashing in on what l can all l can.

How you doin sleepy , you sleeping , how's the work situation panning out too btw? Well only if you wanna say or if not no problemo.

rx

[ecomama]

Thanks for that rx and I'm glad to hear you're putting a positive strategy for your sleep!

Hey Sleepy!

I did "too much" before bed time and even forgot to have dinner lol... so I ate a sandwich at 1am and fell asleep after that.

It's a Goldilocks thing for me... I need to do the "just right" amount of activity to get to sleep more easily and sleep better... too much activity or not enough means something goes awry with my sleep.

I haven't done the whole collecting data on it though! LOL! I don't like monitoring everything I do bec it increases my anxiety.

I've been thinking too much on returning to work FT next year, constantly worrying I won't have enough time to keep up at home.
I already have bonkers amounts of lists everywhere now! lol.
It's anxiety.

BF and I are in a good place - wonderful place actually - with things we can't control, for now and atm anyway between us.
MAYBE IF things have opened more and we spoke about vaccines etc last night. For me they're more a tick a box thing, I don't have much faith in them. I can't be effectively immunised by vaccines anyway (a blood / genetic thing) luckily I seldom get ill even when I contract something.

I'd get the vaccine to tick the box and fly. No crystal ball here so no point in planning too much lol in saying that we've planned for every eventuality lol!

Take care!
EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Well slept again last night with a beautiful dream , even though l'd rather just sleep, it didn't work night before though but the bad stuff is passing and l hope to get back to training soon.

Other bigger things goin on but l won't go there right now.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Wow , exiting stuff em, l know your not getting hopes up and it's a ways off buttt. God that's reminding me of ex stuff , oh no. it was incredible getting off the plane, or her , it's build up and half going across the world for each other isn't it eh.

All this vac business is surreal isn't it , might have a normal world again this time next.

rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx

Glad to hear you've had SOME okay sleeps. Better than nothing I guess lol.

Are you getting back to fitness training soon?
Or sleep training?

How's your daughter going?

I hope GFs legal stuff is clearing, I really do. I get it as few people do. It's horrendous.

So sorry for triggering you with BF etc.
Let's leave it lol.

What are you up to today?

EM

[Guest_1584]

Nah no problem em shout it from roof tops for all l care it's nice to know your happy . And don't worry got so many things ex popping up right now yours doesn't even scrap the surface, she's even in my cards atm. And l can gel her again atm too sooooo, there's no escaping it anyway.

My best friend had a funny scenario speaking of this sort of thing. She met her man hiking in Spain 2 wks . His marriage was a disaster her life was a mess, 2 wks later the holidays over she goes home to Slovenia he goes home to his place, Spain, So he's 2000k away. 3yrs they were on and off in touch , on and off everything, she nearly died , they gave it up 5 times, he was in hospital too buttttt, 2 yrs ago he got his divorce and she moved over to his, And they've been crazy happy ever since. Knew each other just that 2 wks held out 3yrs , and here they are, pretty cool.

gf's stuff , it's a bloody nightmare. My d , unfortunately it's not good , kinda why l'm her doing this post, take my mind of it , be up all night finding things to do but ohwell.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Might have to find movies , l'm out of data damn it or l could binge. Ps , that was meant to say l can feel her atm , gel sounds soooo bad ahhh. But yeah unfortunately we've always felt each other and she is atm too , ain't helping.

Sleeping nope unfortunately there won't be any again for awhile now for sure but oh well, l'll get back on track later. Although gf left me some pretty heavy duty sleeping pills , which l never take but l could l suppose. Or a joint , it might help , l don't like joints when l'm not in a good place though it can backfire.

rx

[Guest_1643]

hey rx, glad you had one peaceful night of sleep with good dreams

I love actually stories like your best friend about how people meet - like from two so seperate sides of the universe and who would never neceesarily have met - it's pretty awesome. I wander if they knew or expected that would happen when they first met. Some ppl say they know such things straight away but sometimes life surprises you

I had my first day of work on Friday and it was fun, my colleagues are great. I'm casual so I don't know when I'll be back - shame a bit now as I actually want the shifts now that I know what I was getting into. But originally I was hesitant.

[Guest_1584]

Heya sleepy.

Yeah got some on and off good nights for a wk or so last so at least that's some. Wine sometimes works to but tbh l don't even wanna sleep right now again anyway so to hell with it.

That's great you started work , bloody fantastic good for you. Hope ya get some more shifts soon, settle in and find some rhythm hey.

Oh yeah they were a love first sight thing, that can happen you bet . With them though that 2 wks was a fantasy like you could imagine, you know being a holiday romance thing. They say holiday romances are never real though later - whoever they are , bc nothing was in the real world real life but these two , yep. A 3 yrs gap after that 2 wks , they went through all sorts of huge crap never saw each other once in that 3yrs. So that makes it even more amazing doesn't it that they did turn out real and have been so happy once they finally after all that did get back together doesn't it. l mean all they had to go on was that 2 wks 3yrs ago that whole time. Great story eh.

Ex and l had huge freaky things happen if l was to tell them here which l did do once before in another forum, people don't believe it , oh well. Buttttttt, just goes to show really doesn't it , that never worked out anyway so what did all those things mean , don't know.

Tbh , l'm having more faith in the slow burn these days.

rx

[Guest_1584]

last night l got 8 1/2 hrs sleep , believe that.

My gf is so stressed we're not messaging too much and and so sickly worried for my d , so the same. We've been just calling mainly lately instead so l'm so sick of tv or the pc l tried to go to sleep early last night about 12 set in a good dream next minute it's 8/30 am. Couldn't believe it.

And l woke to a message from ex about some small improvements with my d , oh man you just couldn't imagine how beautiful that was to hear. But we'll see , our poor girl has a huge mountain to climb.